Exhaustion

I'm tired.  Not the typical, every-day, mom who does too much tired.  I'm bone tired.  I've worked from home this week so that I can alternate from taking naps with still getting my work done.  I've ordered take out for dinner instead of making a meal out of the piles of food in the cupboard.  I'm exhausted down to the core of me.  I know why I'm tired.  I get this way every once in a while.  A weird coping strategy when my life gets so stressed that my body tries to shut down to protect me. 

It happened first happened in 1997 during the big heartbreak of my life - ending my relationship with my high school sweetheart and feeling like I would never find love again (I did).  It happened again in 2001 when the dot com bubble burst and I was laid off and scared that I would never find work again (2 weeks later I landed a cool job).  It happened during the pregnancy scare of 2003 when for 6 weeks I kept testing negative but knew in my heart I was with child (and I was).  And now, again in 2007. 

I think its a combo of feeling incredibly unhappy at work, feeling like my work-life balance is out of whack, and wanting a change.  I've worked at this company for the last 7 years and have some great friends there.  But a break-up is in our future.  Work and I have hit that ugly place in a relationship where you both know it needs to end but no one is ready to make the step to actually end it. 

So today, I'm curling up on the couch.  And I'm sleeping it off.  Tomorrow I will try to get up off this couch and start acting like me again.

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Robyn chronicles her adventures and mishaps as a working mom at Who's the Boss?