You go, Barbara Walters

This a.m. Joy Behar on the View said that she is giving all the other women a donation to something or other for Christmas. Barbara replied (I quote roughly), “That’s not a gift. You want to make a donation, that’s great, I do think you should give to charity. But don’t make it in my name. It’s probably not a charity that I want. And I have to write a thank you note anyway. So don’t say you’re doing it in my name.”

Thank you, Barbara, for saying that. I, too, do not want to receive “donations in my name”. I do not think those are gifts. If you decide to spend your entire shopping budget on charitable contributions, I’m fine with that. But don’t give me a note that says “I made a donation in your name” and call it a gift. A gift is something you made for me or picked out for me, shopping carefully, I would hope, spending a little time thinking about what I might like. And then, when I eat it or use it or wear it, I’ll flash on a memory of your thoughtfulness and smile.

You don’t have to give me a gift, I’ll like you anyway, but if you do, it should be a genuine one. A donation in my name may make you feel good (you discharged that gift obligation to me and did something good for someone else at the same time), but it is not a real gift. At its worst (and I’ve had some of the worst), it is to an organization I actually oppose rather than support, and puts me on their solicitation list forever.