Hey New Nurse: Get Some Life Experience!

I miss my nurse practitioner! She was warm and earthy and had such wisdom. I trusted her completely. She was a part of an amazing team of staff at private practice of one amazing and much loved Silicon Valley OB/Gyn. I was there for my annual exam, expecting to see her. I heard the "Helloooo!" and the sprightly steps but when she pulled back the curtain, it was a new nurse and she was...young.

"How are things going?" asks the new nurse, smiling. We go through the usual litany of questions, finally arriving at the question of sex.

"Well," I say, "it's funny how life with kids can kind of zap away a lot of your energy. I'm always tired! Hey, can you test my iron levels"

She stops, leans in closer and tells me that it's very, VERY important to nurture a marriage. "People get busy, but we musn't neglect our marriage," she urges, her voice full of sympathy.

Um, my marriage is fine, thank you very much. But I'll step things up, if that's what you think I should do.

I'm sure my husband wouldn't mind.

Then we roll over the next few questions, this time landing on the question of exercise.

"Well, I've gained a few pounds, " I explain, "I'm busy and tired and lately, my schedule only allows for twice a week trips to the gym, sometimes more, but I can't count on it."

"Five or six times a week, " she announces, correcting me. "We want you to work out five or six times a week. Do that and you'll see a difference."

Um, right and I'm going to do that how?

Then she mentions that she's pregnant, about 18 weeks along. She mentions some other things, her pastor among them. I start to get where she's coming from. I surmise that she's right out of nursing school, newly married, and fresh out of pre-marital counseling with her pastor. And she's newly pregnant. Oh, to have such optimism!

I thank her for the exam and leave, thinking about her questions. I know she meant well, but the only word swirling in my head is a resounding, "DUHHHH!" Of course, I know that marriage is important. Of course, I want to exercise more than twice a week. I'm always trying to focus on those things. Of course, of course! Am I hearing that my new nurse wants to come babysit for me? That'll surely free up some of my time to nurture my marriage and then go out for a jog. Gee, thanks!

Oh, and new nurse: Do give me a call after you've popped out a couple of kids. After you've got yourself some life experience, I'd love to hear your advice.