Warning : Obnoxious Stage Mom Post

Pamela and obnoxious- those seem to go together now don't they? I may be annoying and opinionated about many things, but I have yet to figure out the balance of supporting my son, and being too obnoxious.

Let me explain, my son is an actor. He does a lot of local theatre. I try to invite some of my closest friends and family.  But how do I let other people that may want to see him know without being "one of those Moms"?  Not only do I want him to feel the love, I truly want to support our amazing local theatre company, Theatre Works. (Hey, if you clicked on that link, you can see the show that Julian is in !)

I personally like to know when a friend's child is in any show, competition , dance recital etc. I want my kids to support their friends in their achievements. I feel that it is important for my children to be proud of others, not jealous. I want them to be glad that their friend won a chess trophy, even if they did not. Here in Silicon Valley,  land of over achievers, I want my kids to be able to loose some of that competitive edge, and take pride in the accomplishments of others. We can not all be star ballerinas, but we can sure clap loudly when our friend is on stage. ( I have a pal whose daughter is in the SF Ballet school, so cool.)

So how can I let people know about Julian's shows without being too obnoxious? Any pointers? He is always in something, and the tickets are not cheap, so I can not buy tickets for everyone.  I just fear that I tend to not support him, by acting like it's no big deal. It is kind of a big deal though. Too much praise is not a good thing, but knowing that friends and family are proud is another. Like everything in parenting, it is about finding the balance... promoting without being the stage mom from hell that everyone runs from!

Original post to Silicon Valley Moms Blog....

Comments

[stephv]

Here is some advice- I started an "interested theatre group" on Yahoo for my friends and family. Then, I asked them if they wanted to get email notices of upcoming shows. Most said yes, so I just sent out info to them on the show, where to buy tickets, etc.. low key tech, no pressure to attend (if done face to face people can construe it this way .)
I know what you mean-it can be a little overkill and price-y for some if your child is always in something. An aside for when he gets older- "A" just went through the rounds of college admissions for acting. He landed in a great spot after a real competitive audition process. What I have learned from this is the following: if there is any ounce of "too much ego" that you think could be percolating within your son, this will take care of it; he will quickly find out that being the hometown star means nada once he is competing for university spots with kids from across the nation. It is a heady experience for kids who "always get leads"-and a real necessary life lesson that should be embraced.In the meantime, his experience/talent and support from family and friends will see him through if he chooses this path.

[svmom3]

I maintain an email list as well, for friends and family and former teachers. So make one, and put me on it. Yeah, some shows are pricey, but previews are always a bargain. Anyway, that's an awesome role your theatre kid has coming up, and I already have tickets; I'm looking forward to it. My theatre kid's next gig (here comes the shameless stage mom plug), is in "Peddling Rainbows" at http://www.42ndstmoon.org/42newweb/season/newseason.htm

[Stefania/CityMama]

You can put me on your "call list." I always want to know where he is performing. We may not always be able to attend, but I really do want to know.

What about a website where you could post his upcoming appearances? Then, I can subscribe to his RSS feed and will always know where he's performing. I will email an example of someone I know who does a good job with promotion offline.

[Charlene Li]

Pamela: I'm in the same boat, trying to balance telling people about a great show (my daughter's in Lucky Duck this spring, which first premiered at Theatre Works).

I am a bit more shameless in my promotion. I tell close friends, but I also stuff every cubby in my child's school with a custom flyer, usually with the names of the other kids in the school that are also in the show.

I then send an email to the parents of my child's class. We have a Yahoo Group set up, so it's pretty easy. My logic -- parents are always looking for something interesting to for the weekend, so why not make a suggestion?

And I think that's the key -- it's not about seeing MY child, but more that I think the people I'm inviting will have a good time. And yes, they get to see somneone they know in the show as well.