A Boy and his Toy

Gunplay is such a hot topic.   Should we let our kids play with guns?  Should we ban them altogether?  Are moms who let their kids play with toy guns ‘bad’ moms?  Will I raise an overly aggressive child if I allow him/her to play with guns?  Will my children and I be shunned by the other moms and dads if we own a toy gun?

These thoughts have all gone through my head. 

Am I making the right decision?  Will my decision harm or alter the course of my children’s lives?

Well today I’m outing myself.  My children each have a toy gun.  Don’t shoot! 

And my husband and I gave those guns to our kids at Christmas.

Phew, I said it.  I can just feel the looks of shock and horror coming across the computer screen!  And frankly, I understand.  With all of the school shootings and other highly publicized atrocities occurring within our country, it’s no wonder many moms I know shudder at the though allowing their child to know about, look at, or touch a toy gun.

And yet I bought my kids one.  Why?  What kind of a mom am I?  Don’t I know the bad things that can come out of my children playing with guns? 

Yes, I do.  For every study I found that said something along the lines of this New York Times article,

“…little evidence exists either to support a causal relationship between war toys and aggression or to discount one…”

I could find ten that told me why I should never let guns, toy or otherwise, pass through the hands of my children.

In the last few years my husband and I have been told, “Our family doesn’t play with guns.”  And, “Please, refer to the gun as something else, like a ‘stick’, so our child won’t understand what you are talking about.” 

So the question still remains, why have I made a conscious decision to allow my kids to own toy guns?

Simple.   

Police officers carry guns.  And police officers are heroes. 

A close family member and many of our friends are in law enforcement.  Guns are part of our life.  How can I tell my son and daughter that one of their most trusted and respected family members is ‘bad’ or ‘wrong’ for carrying a gun?  I can’t.

So we talk about being a hero instead. We have ongoing conversations about the importance of solving conflict by using your words.  We talk about being compassionate, having integrity, being respectful, living with honor, and courage, and loyalty.  We talk and try to demonstrate through our actions how to be a good person. 

And we let our kids play with guns, because their hero carries one.

Really, when it comes down to it, I’d rather my kids learn about guns from us, their parents, than from their friends on the playground. 

I think the previous quoted New York Times article sums it up best:

“But ultimately children don't learn values from toy guns and G.I. Joe. It's parents and other role models who have the most important influence on a child's behavior.''

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So now it’s your turn.  How do you feel about the topic of toy guns?  Do you allow your children to play with guns?  Do you judge us parents who allow their children to play with toy guns?  Do you avoid families like us?  Why?  Please leave your thoughts a comment below if you’d like to weigh in on this conversation.

Originally posted to Silicon Valley Moms Blog

Nanette also writes on her personal blog, SmilingMom.com.