The Giving Tree...or The Taking Boy?

I read a great commentary on the movie Horton Hears a Who and I wish I had had the guts to write it down after I saw the movie.  Then I was reminded of a similar "thought" or epiphany I had about a certain book from a few years ago.  When my son was younger, maybe four, he brought home his favorite book from school to share with the family. It was "The Giving Tree" by Shel Silverstein, and we read it over and over, I mean he brought it home week after week. 

I am not an ignorant woman (so I think), I think I am well read, college edu-ma-cated and I have taken many an honors English class.  I really love books, I pride myself on my knowledge of books, analyzing them, the whole understanding of characters and such, you know finding the real  meaning and all.  So, you can imagine one week day when my son and I are reading The Giving Tree for the 47th time) together and I find myself getting upset, I mean really angry.  I feel that my eyes are open and I can see this tree for what it is.......you know what the metaphor for the tree is? Um you know I am not the only mother that read this book differently right?  I try to keep quiet, but I can not, I feel I must explain to to my son why Mommy has decided she does not like this book any longer and never wants to read it again.  If you are not familiar with the book you can go here and listen to the reading.

And God bless his little soul, he listened to me that one night, years ago.  In case you are not familiar with the book here is a quick synopsis; boy plays on tree, boy and tree are happy - boy gets old and wants more out of life so he tells tree he wants money, she says take my apples and sell them, so he does and does not come back till he needs something else from her (of course the tree is a her). So, then he needs to build house, so what does he do?  He comes back home and asks for a house, she offers branches, he takes them.  He again, goes away for a very long time and she is sad.  He finally comes back and wants to sail away, he needs a boat she lets him cut her down and he sails away - she is sad........really must I go on?  The book ends because she has nothing left to give him, she is a stump. 

In the simplest terms, I told my son how the story represented the relationship between a mother and her son.  Her child took everything from her and never said thank you.  He never visited unless he needed something.  The best is when the spoiled brat returns at the end of the book and she has nothing to offer him.  He says that is okay he just needs a place to sit......so he sits on her, let me say that again slowly HE-SITS-ON-HER (which is actually kind of a funny visual).  Being a mother can sometimes be such a thankless, exhausting job.  Why didn't the mother....er, tree teach her son some manners?  Can't he come and water her? Take care of her bark?  Just come and spend sometime with her? Did he have to take ALL of her?? 

I tried to explain what the book meant to my little inquisitive boy.  I was not sure if my son got what I was saying, he did get how passionate I was and that I would NOT read the book again.  What I did not realize was that he would soon tell everyone how his mother felt.  Fast forward to first grade and this is what happened one day:

"Okay class we are going to read one of my favorite books, The Giving Tree" My son's teacher announced to the class.

My son Grant raises his hand and the teacher calls on him; " My mommy hates that book"

My son's teacher, "Now Grant why would you say that? Hate is a strong word. This is a wonderful book."

Grant, "My mommy says that that the tree is like the mother and she gives the boy everything and the boy never says thank you for all the things she gives him.  The story makes my mom sad."

Teacher, "Well Grant, we will read the book and decide for ourselves what the book is about."

So the teacher reads the story to the class, pauses after she is done and turns to my son (my hero) and says, "Grant your mother is correct, I am not so sure that I like this book any longer.  The boy should have thanked the tree, or his mother for all she gave him."

Original post to Silicon Valley Moms Blog.