How law firms treat mothers

If I may brag, I accomplished something pretty cool about 5 years ago:  I created an online community for mothers who are lawyers. Membership is invitation-only, and I approve applicants to make sure they fit the requirements:  they must be a licensed attorney, working in some capacity (legal or otherwise), or else in law school, with children or pregnant.  Fathers are welcome too.  We now have approximately 450 working parents on the list.

People wonder why working lawyer parents need a community of their own.  The following email, distributed on my list, shows the kind of challenges that working mother lawyers still face.  It really speaks for itself.

- Rebecca

From: [[ name withheld by Rebecca ]]
Sent: Monday, May 05, 2008 1:14 PM
To: [[ partners at law firm ]]
Subject: My departure

The circumstances surrounding my departure from Paul Hastings has
been deeply disappointing. It is one thing to ignore an email sent
as a colleague is waiting to have her uterus scraped after a
miscarriage, but it is wholly another level of heartlessness to lay
her off six days after that. John [[last name]] is the only one who
expressed any sympathy after my miscarriage, and I am grateful to
him for that.

A business is a business, but it takes very little to convey some
level of humanity to carry out even the most difficult business
decisions. We are human beings first before we are partners or
associates. Had you simply explained that the department is unable
to sustain the number of associates in the office, I would have
completely understood. Had you explained that the office had been
directed to reduce the number of associates and I was chosen because
of my high billable rate and low billable hours, I would have
appreciated such directness, even though the consequences of blindly
raising billable rates to an unsustainable degree is plainly
predictable.

What I do not understand is the attempt to blame the associate for
not bringing in the business that should have been brought in by
each of you and to hide your personal failures by attempting to
tarnish my excellent performance record and looking to undermine my
sense of self esteem.

The last few months has been surreal, at best. Just last year, I
had celebrated my engagement and marriage with many of you. In fact
during the engagement party, the head of the department took my then-
fiancée aside to express to him what a great attorney I am and what
a great future I faced. Indeed, less than a week before this year's
bizarre performance review, I was again told by the same partner
that my work is great and that the slow business in no way reflected
on my performance. A week later, I was given a mediocre performance
review and told that I should worry about whether I have a future at
Paul Hastings. When I asked for specific examples of my alleged
deficiencies, I received no response. When I asked for an
explanation as to why I had been downgraded in so many performance
categories when I received absolutely no criticism throughout the
year and my prior year's review was stellar, I was told that my
prior year's performance assessment may have been "over-inflated"

What a startling response.

After my miscarriage, I had discussed my concern with several
associates that Paul Hastings may use that opportunity to lay me off
quickly before I have a chance to get pregnant again. Those
associates thought it unfathomable that a firm would be so callous
and assured me that Paul Hastings isn't that kind of a place. What
a lesson this has been for them - and for me. I would not have
anticipated that a partner would tell me one thing and completely
renege on his words a week later. I would not have anticipated that
a female partner (whom I had looked to as a role model) with
children of her own would sit stone faced as I broke into tears
just days after my miscarriage. Even a few words of sympathy or
concern would have made a world of difference. What kind of people
squander human relationships so easily?

If this response seems particularly emotional, perhaps an
associate's emotional vulnerability after a recent miscarriage is a
factor you should consider the next time you fire or lay someone
off. It shows startlingly poor judgment and management skills --
and cowardice -- on your parts. If you should ever have the
misfortune of suddenly losing something or someone precious to you,
I hope you don't find similar heartlessness as I have.

As for your request for a release, non-disclosure, and non-
disparagement agreement in return for three months' pay, I reject
it. Unlike you, I am not a just paid mouthpiece with no independent
judgment. I will decide how and to whom to communicate how you have
treated me. I find it ironic that you would try to buy the right
not to be disparaged after behaving as you have. Your actions speak
volumes, and you don't need much help from me in damaging your
reputation.

I attach the proposed release for any associate who may be
interested in reviewing its details.

[[ name withheld by Rebecca ]]

An original post to Silicon Valley Moms Blog.