Just another Friday night... as I ponder life.

I sit here, this Friday evening and I type.  I write.  I pray. I use this as my diving board, as I plunge into my thoughts. I am not special.  I should have known that at some point, it would be our turn to face a tough situation.  My mother has leukemia.  As I type the word "leukemia", I think that it must be another person facing this terrible diagnosis. No, not me.  Not MY family.  Isn't this suppose to happen to someone else?  Anyone else?  Maybe I have just been in the middle of a bad dream, and soon I will wake up and all will be fine.  Mom will be cancer free.

But then, shouldn't I feel lucky?  We got the word just a month ago.  A marrow match from an unrelated donor has been found.  Not only a match, but a PERFECT match, meeting ALL the markers. SHE HAS A FIGHTING CHANCE FOR A CURE.... Mom will be admitted to Stanford Hospital this Sunday and begin the immuno-suppressants.  The following week she will receive radiation and then the marrow transplant.  Ah, the perfect gift for Mother's Day.  They are going for a cure.... through the kindness of an anonymous, unrelated donor.  We have no idea who her donor is, but we have learned something very interesting about our "angel".  Her donor is a HE and HE is twenty five years old.  HE lives somewhere in the United States.  HE agreed to take medication this past week to increase his stem cells, which were removed TODAY through a blood donation. HE agreed to help save my mothers life. HE made the conscious decision to help.... And for that, words can not express how grateful we all are to this young man....

Keep saying it.  Keep thinking it.  They are going for a cure.

We were told that one year from now, Mom could meet her donor (assuming HE would like to meet her). Part of me hopes that this young man some how finds this post and shares his experience about being a donor.  Part of me hopes that he will reach out to us sooner.  Part of me just wants to give him a hug, and thank him for signing up to be a marrow donor, agreeing to be tested once he was called by the National Marrow Registry Program and then taking medication this past week so he could donate cells for my mother's transplant.  By some miracle, if you are this young man, please know that our entire family is incredibly grateful.  Thank you.

And then, the other part of me is scared out of my mind.  What if the transplant does not work?  What if she gets Host vs. Graft disease?  What if the leukemia comes back?  What if she dies?

On Sunday, my daughter's want to make breakfast for Mother's Day.  Nothing too fancy, just breakfast at our house with a "dash of happiness" .  They want to pamper mom and grandma, before she walks into Stanford Hospital and begins the battle for a cure.  We all want to make the day as normal as possible, but how can this day be normal?  Maybe I just need to think ahead, and believe that one year from today, my mother will be healthy again.  That our lives won't be consumed with cancer and sickness and sleepless nights.  Maybe, just maybe, I will receive the greatest mother's day gift of all... health, and love and peace and healthy Mom.....

A cure, they are going for a cure.... and with that, I have hope.

An original post to Silicon Valley Moms Blog.