Mommy Wars Suck!

All of a sudden, I have become a "field trip mom".  You see, this past year has been extremely hectic for me and I must admit that my volunteer hours at the school have been lacking.  Yes, I am coming clean.  I have not been the best volunteer mom. 

So, the end of the school year is fast approaching and the volunteer sign up sheets went up on the classroom doors asking for parents to help out with the last class trips.  I thought to myself...I could put my name on the list, show up and be a responsible parent helping out the teacher and kids.  Guilt took over.  The girls begged me and I said OK. 

So the past two weeks, I have been the stellar field trip mom.  Last week I drove to the San Francisco Zoo in hundred degree weather. (Do I get brownie points for that one?).  Today I helped chaperon the kinder class to a garden.  Oh, and I even took pictures.... and (gulp) a phone call, to the horror of another parent.  Yes my blogosphere friends, I took a phone call in the middle of the class trip, and was caught.

The questions started:

Other Mom: "Are you really taking a phone call during the class trip?"

Me:  Yes.... I need to pick up my mother from the outpatient hospital after she is done with radiation, so I am answering my phone.  (Why in the world do I feel the need to JUSTIFY a phone call?)

Other Mom: "Oh, I heard you talking about money.  That didn't sound like a call to your mother".

Me:  (My blood begins to boil)  "Actually, it was for my mother.  There is an organization that is providing funding for leukemia and lymphoma research and wanted to know a little bit more about my mother" (AND WHY IN THE WORLD AM I HAVING TO JUSTIFY A CHARITABLE CALL FROM A NON PROFIT ORGANIZATION THAT IS FUNDING RESEARCH FOR LEUKEMIA AND LYMPHOMA AND NEEDED TO ASK ME A FEW QUICK QUESTIONS?)

Here is why I need to justify myself.  I am both a working mom and a stay home mom.  I work part time while my daughters are in school.  I am mommy when the girls are out of school.  I do a balancing act, and can't deal with the SAHM vs. Working Moms vs. Part-time working Moms vs. Working from Home Moms.... I am ALL OF THEM.... and when a SAHM wants me to justify why (GOD FORBID) I am on the phone during a class field trip.... well, it pisses me off!  And I would be the first one to admit that I have not "been there" for all the field trips, yard duties, library duties, class picnics.... and yes, OTHER parents have done a LOT more than me.  But dammit, I have done the best that I can... and if showing up for a class trip and taking a phone call from a non profit group is wrong - well, shoot me! Give me the worst parent of the year award!

And who cares if I was taking a work call, a personal call or any call for that matter?  (AND WHY IN THE WORLD IS SHE LISTENING TO MY PRIVATE CONVERSATION?  I was off to the side, talking softly!)

Reality?  We are all doing the very best we can, and the world (and our families) would be a lot better off if we stopped judging one another.  SAHM's, lighten up.  Many of us need to work.  Many of us WANT to work... and working moms, appreciate the SAHM's who volunteer at the school, takes your kids on playdates after school, help out the teachers and children at school during school hours(or not!).  AND STOP JUDGING ONE ANOTHER!  Cause it is really making it quite difficult for the rest of us to appreciate YOU, regardless what side of the fence you are on!

An original post from Silicon Valley Moms Blog.