I am a mother, "too happy to be comfortable"

“Too happy to be comfortable.” This is perhaps one of the loveliest phrases I’ve heard in connection with motherhood. I’m reading Angle of Repose by Wallace Stegner, Pulitzer-prize winning writer, environmentalist and long-time Los Altos resident (please read his work, it’s beautiful). Last night I reached the point in the story where the protagonist has her first baby in the “wild west,” far from home and family. When she and her husband write home to report the good news, she describes herself as “too happy to be comfortable.”

I love it. I think it poetically yet accurately depicts what being a mother (and father) is all about. I would say for most of us, having children makes us happy, but that happiness comes with a serious amount of discomfort. From Day 1, we are exhausted. This new little person pretty much sucks the life out of us. They are completely dependent on us for survival. Then your child starts to grow and the challenges just get more, well, challenging. Despite all of that, having these two ‘little women’ in my life makes me deliriously happy.

And while being a parent causes discomfort and we are happy in spite of that discomfort, I think the other take on this line is even more beautiful.

The thought that you could be so consumed with happiness that there is just no way to sit back quietly and contently rings very true for me. You are simply too happy to be comfortable. What a confusing and wonderful state to be in, and isn’t parenthood just that? Confusing and peaceful, frustrating and wonderful, crazy and happy. We generally think of happiness as contentment, but they are not one in the same. And thank goodness for that. I’m so grateful that my happiness won’t allow me to be comfortable. My life is more rich and full because of that fact.

So, next time my oldest daughter asks “WHY?” for the zillionth time (WHY?!?! does her asking WHY? drive me so up the wall?!?!) or my sweet baby is up through the night crying, I am going to repeat this phrase in my mind so I remember just how fortunate I am. I am too happy to be comfortable.

Original Silicon Valley Moms Blog post. Jane Maynard also blogs at This Week for Dinner, where she takes pretty pictures of food and fakes being a good cook.