I have three adorable children, but my closets are a mess

Yesterday I went to the grocery store to buy four things. I came home with only two of those things and several other random items. For the past few days I have been searching my house high and low for some of my wedding jewelry. I need it for a wedding we are to attend in a couple of weeks. I can't find it anywhere. All of our closets are a mess. I desperately need to go through them all and get rid of things we don't wear and de-clutter them. This has been on my to-do list for months. I am always hearing myself say, "I never would have done this before I had kids."

We give up several things when we become mothers; our bodies, a good nights sleep, perhaps our career, some of our free time. What we gain is infinitely more valuable, but sometimes it's painful to think what we've sacrificed in the name of motherhood. That's right, sometimes I wonder what I have done to my life and what the heck were we thinking having three kids.

What I am missing about my pre-kid self right now is time to just think. I miss waking up and planning the day out in my head while I'm in the shower. I miss brushing my teeth before three kids are clamoring for breakfast. I miss my commute to work and reading on the train. I forget birthdays. It takes me days, sometimes weeks to answer e-mails. I miss being able to spend an entire day cleaning out my closets. Not that I couldn't spend an entire day cleaning out my closets now, and enlist my kids help. I have a feeling it would take me at least an entire week though if you factor in snack breaks, negotiations to keep things rather than give them to charity, bathroom breaks, more snack breaks, breaks to get some fresh air because "this is sooooo boring mommy" etc., etc., etc.

There are so many things spinning around in my head on any given day I find it hard to focus. I have these little chunks of free time before someone needs a meal, or needs to be picked up or dropped off somewhere, needs help in the bathroom, or is asking me where the scissors and glue are hidden. Take today for example. After volunteering in Lolly's classroom this morning, I had one hour of free time before I had to pick up Gloppy at Tiny Tots. I spent that hour cleaning up the breakfast dishes, folding some laundry, answering an e-mail, cleaning some trash out of my car, returning a phone call and cleaning up the hallway where the kids had made a rocket ship out of a large box this morning while I got dressed. And I barely made a dent in my list of things I need to get done today.

I guess what I'm getting at is that I miss being able to sit down with my to-do list and just bang things out without the constant interruptions. I am a planner and I like to be organized. Life at home with three little kids is anything but well planned and organized. I don't function well when I have to fly by the seat of my pants.

The disorganization of my life is temporary, I know that. Most of the time I'm OK with doing some things half-ass. But sometimes it really bothers me. Like my speech for my speech for my sister's 40th birthday party. It was lame-o. I just didn't have any time to sit and focus on writing something meaningful. And that hurts.

My brain needs peace, quiet and time to process my thoughts and plan what needs to get done. So I will forge ahead, keep making lists and keep doing the best I can. If you come to me house, please don't look in any of my closets.

This is an original post to Silicon Valley Moms Blog. Kirsten blogs as Mama Ginger Tree at Adventures in the Candy Cane Forest. She might not have clean closets, but right now she values a good game of Candy Land over organization.