Curse You Facebook

Like any problem, it started innocently enough, in fact I think I tried it a few times when the children were young - I only tried it though, it was just recreational.  This year though was a bad year, a year of my High School 20 year reunion.  I was in charge of the 20 year reunion, even with a committee I felt the pressure to locate people, to find people, I needed to connect with my people.  At first I thought I could stay away, I even turned to a classmate website but it was no help.  It was confusing, the emails bounced back, there was something with signatures and you could not type in websites or emails.  The weeks turned into months and still we were not connecting with enough people.  I admit, I got desperate.

At first I was nervous, I mean what would my friends think?  Worse, my family and my husband if they saw me there, would they ostracize me or just abandon me.  I mean I did not need it, I was not single, I had my own friends, why I did I need more friends?  I did not need to find old friends? Or did I?  We were having trouble finding graduates, I became desperate, I had no choice. Late one night, while everyone was sleeping, I got on line (is that even what these young people call it these days?). I started using....

Facebook.  I was on Facebook, oh how I loved me some Facebook.  There, I said it out loud (well no I just wrote it down, or typed it really). I have admitted it to some people, some of my family even.  When I first started using, I was really not sure what I was doing.  I did not have a picture of myself up, I did not give "flair" I did not leave comments and I did not even go searching for friends.  Okay, well maybe once I went searching for an ex-boyfriend, in hopes he was bald and overweight.....but it was only once.  I would accept friends as they came along, I would look at their profile - I would send them an email, but ONLY if they emailed me first.  I had it under control.

At about this same time I heard all this talk about Twitter and how great it was.  I joined and then could not figure it out, I had no idea what I was doing.  I felt like I was walking around with my slip hanging out from my dress, I was just a hack.  But the more and more I used twitter I got distracted, I was on it all the time.  I was tweeting, I was checking it from the car (bad mommy) I was reading all the time who was doing what and where they were doing it .  Dang everyone was having so much fun!

The day it got out of control for me was when I got an invitation to join a group on Facebook.  A group you say?  That is harmless......no my friend you do not know this group, you do not know these people.  The organizer is very persuasive and he keeps reminding you and emailing you and finding friends for you and next thing you know.....you are hooked, addicted.  This "group" was from college, a greek group from college - all the people I KNEW in college.....and it has all these people I have not see or heard of in 15 years, friends, ex-boyfriends, people I loved, people I wish I knew - I mean it has exploded and I am all emailing, writing on walls, poking, sending flair - to everyone!

Well even though it was already out of control, I could not stop.  I figured if there could be a group from college, why not a group for my high school.  I mean I had to find these people right?  So I started my own group, I told myself it was for the 20 year reunion, but who was I fooling?  I started pushing it on my friends, my co-workers, even other PTA moms.....if I had a problem then I was taking everyone down with me.  I was emailing, or threatening as one grad told me....sorry 'bout that.  I posted pictures, I commented on pictures, I tagged people.  I was now updating my status all the time (and I still had that little twitter problem).  I abandoned my family time to check Facebook, I was looking for people re-connecting with people, I can quit anytime I want, no really I can.

So, where does this little dirty secret get me?  Well - I am going to try and control my Facebook urges, I am going to try not to connect with everyone I meet (again, sorry grocery clerk dude - you seemed nice).  However, now is not a good time for me to go cold turkey on Facebook....not yet.  I still have my reunion to worry about, and yes I have committee members - but how can I trust them?  It is for them, really that is why I am not giving Facebook up.....not yet anyways.  When I am ready, I swear I will walk away....no I will!