The Lunch Box Police

Do educators have a right to dictate what can and cannot be put in a child’s school lunchbox? This is the issue I'm facing head-on at the moment and the only answer I keep coming up with is a resounding “NO!”

I realize that more and more schools now have “peanut-free zones” or ban nut products altogether to keep the school environment safe for the increasing number of children with allergies. That’s not what I’m talking about here.

What I’m talking about is having school lunch supervisors and teachers regularly strolling around at lunchtime looking into kids’ lunchboxes. At our school they hand out raffle tickets to kids with healthy lunches, and the winner of the raffle gets a big basket of fruit as a prize at the end of the month. Now on its own this could be a good thing (aside from the gross invasion of privacy and the fact that giving more fruit to the kids with healthy lunches is a bit like preaching to the choir, no?), but when it’s accompanied by stern looks, wagging fingers, and repeated messages like “we should only have one treat at lunch” and “no chocolate at lunchtime” it is bordering on harassment.

Now don't get me wrong, I'm all for healthy eating. My kids have been devouring vegetables since I was first able to spoon pureed zucchini into their little toothless mouths. We eat fruit for snacks and every meal includes at least two types of raw or steamed vegetables. Their typical lunches for school include (brace yourself):

• A sandwich on whole grain bread
• A box of raisins
• Carrot or celery sticks
• Yogurt or hard-boiled egg or cheese
• Apple
• Crackers or breadsticks

Occasionally I throw in a tiny container of salted nuts or a few potato chips (seriously, like a small bag split 3 ways) or some pretzels.

And once in a while, I’ll put in a cookie or a few M&Ms as a treat depending on what I have on hand (which is usually not a lot since treats don’t last long when they are in the same house as I am). I remember how hugely exciting it was to see that my mom had put a treat in my lunch, and I know my kids feel the same way. At least they used to.

Last week I was surprised to find my 5-year-old daughter, during her first week of having lunch at ‘big school,’ hadn’t eaten the partial chocolate chip cookie that I’d put in her lunch. She told me “but we’re not supposed to have treats at school.” Oh, right. Like the non-treats that kids bring in when it’s their birthday. Like the non-treats that get served as “dessert” with the hot lunches. Like the cookies that are available to buy before the kids go to after-school clubs. Mixed messages, anyone?

The next day I noticed that she hadn’t eaten her pretzels and the day after that her cashews (“Salt isn’t good for you, Mommy’). She was clearly stressed about it. That night as she went to bed, she pulled me close and whispered into my ear to PLEASE not send anything bad in her lunch, since she was scared wouldn’t be allowed to eat it.

I understand what the school is trying to do. There are a lot of families who actually send their kids to school with soda and chocolate bars as their lunch. These are the same kids who – surprise – have trouble concentrating and have, shall we say, “behavioral issues.” I wonder why. But in cases like this isn’t the school going to make more headway dealing with the parents instead of reprimanding the children? After all, how many elementary-school-aged children regularly make their own lunches?

Another reason I presume the school is inspecting the lunchboxes is that it received a “Healthy Schools” award recently; I bet there is some sort of grant attached as long as the school follows the healthy eating criteria. They need to be seen as “actively encouraging” healthy eating at school.

But the unintended consequences of this “active encouragement” is that children are second-guessing their parents’ food choices, they have started hiding food from their teachers (never a good thing) and they are experiencing stress during what should be a time of relaxation and social learning.

Cementing my reputation as the pain-in-the-ass American mom, I wrote a quick note to the head teacher outlining my concerns. Surprisingly, no other parent had come forward with any issues (ok so the  privacy issue is probably an American thing), but she was genuinely concerned over the points I brought up. True to form, she took swift action, reassuring my kids personally that “everything your mom puts in your lunches is absolutely fine to eat at school!” and that they would look at the possible over-exuberance of the lunchtime supervisors and in the future just skip over my kids when checking the contents of lunchboxes. She also said they would clarify for the children and parents the healthy eating guidelines and be sure the after-school snacks and hot lunches followed these guidelines. Have I mentioned how I love this head teacher (who by now regularly gives me copies of all the Religious Education lessons for the whole year in advance of my even asking)?

That night I got an email from her suggesting that I put myself forward to be a parent governor of the school, since they needed what she called "critical friends." I was touched, but my husband’s chuckling reference to something Winston Churchill said about how “it’s better to have your enemies inside the tent pissing out, than outside the tent pissing in” made me wonder.

As far as I’m concerned, though, the only "enemy" around here is apathy.

An original post to Silicon Valley Moms Blog, where, when she isn't fervently standing up for her children's right to eat their lunches in peace, Amy writes about life as a mom from her new vantage point in Gloucestershire, England.