The Eternal Quest for Balance

Finding balance in life is a real trick. I’m sure most of us struggle with it for most of our lives.  Prioritizing what really matters with what I have to get done with what I want to be doing…it can get exhausting.  And just when I think I’ve come to some bright realization about how to balance out my life, I turn around and fail miserably at it. 

Two weeks ago I started working with a new client who needed some design work turned around very quickly.  The day of the deadline had arrived and I was not done with the project, so I stayed home from music class with my girls to work.  That afternoon I learned the client was no longer going to be a client and the work was all for naught.  I was kicking myself for not going to the 30-minute music class with my girls that morning, no matter how much work I had to get done.  I felt like this experience was a real lesson for me.  I learned I should be putting first what mattered most.  And I thought I had balance all figured out.

Then madness ensued. 

The following week was even crazier and more hectic, and by the end of it I felt like I’d been through the wringer.  And my ability to rationally deal with stress declined significantly.  Patience was out the window, along with sleep. I turned into a grumpy mom who even scared her daughter at one point while yelling at the computer screen. So fun.

The question I keep asking myself is WHY can I not figure this balance thing out?  And why, when I need it most, do I lose all ability to exercise patience and rationality to deal with the stress at hand? Logically I know what I need to do to calm things down, but when the going gets tough, I go crazy.  I guess this is what life is all about.  If we were perfect all the time it would be boring.  And at least I’m aware of what I need to work on.  I just wish it were easier.

The other night I kind of broke down with my husband and talked about everything that was stressing me out.  And one of the big things I realized as I talked through it all was that I really, truly am so grateful for my life.  I have an amazing family, I am still getting work despite the economy, I live in an amazing place, my group of friends is unbelievably supportive.  I cannot complain.  Yes, I’m sick of being a crazy person and, yes, I need to get better at dealing with stress and finding balance.  But maybe the key to handling the stress is to stop and remember what I am grateful for.  And maybe that's not the key but only a small piece to the balance puzzle.  Regardless, I’ll keep trying and hopefully, one of these days, I’ll get better at this crazy thing we call life.

Original Silicon Valley Moms Blog post. Jane Maynard also blogs at <a href="http://www.thisweekfordinner.com"><strong>This Week for Dinner</strong></a>, where she takes pretty pictures of food and fakes being a good cook.