Insider, Outsider

My son is bi-racial.  White mother.  Indian father.  At four, there are already two cultural identities forming.  One is the Irish-boy, Christian identity.  The other is the Indian-boy,  Zoroastrian identity.  He has is everyday clothes and his Indian clothes for cultural events.  He celebrates Christmas and attends Novjotes of older Zoroastrian children. 

He is an insider and an outsider in both communities.  He can blend into both.  He's looks white.  He understands Gujarati.  My son is what is means to be diverse.  He has two religions, two languages, two cultures, two names, two identities.  He thrives in both worlds. 

Yet on the outside, my son looks white.  He got his fair skin and brown hair from his momma.  If only looking skin deep, you'd never know his diverse roots. 

And so we try harder at enriching him in his Indian culture.  I cook Indian food twice a week, we attend temple services whenever they are offered, and we force encourage his grandparents to speak to him in their native tongue (I am even trying to learn the language so we can speak it at home). 

Still, there is privilege in being a "white man."  My son won't have ever be profiled by the police because of the the color of his skin.  He won't be paid lower wages at work for doing the same job as a woman of color.   He won't be a statistic in the achievement gap.

Yes, my son is part Caucasian.  But he is so much more than that.  I don't want my son to be defined by the color of his skin.  We are all so much more than the color of our skin, the name our parents gave us, or the religion that we practice.  My son, by birthright , is diverse.  He does not fall into a single stereotypical bucket.  I wonder what diversity will mean for my child as he becomes a grown man.  As he embraces his two cultures, his two religions, his two worlds... I can only hope that he sees just how similar they really are. 

Original post for the Silicon Valley Mom's Blog. Robyn Roark is a full-time working mom. During the day, she bosses around men that are old enough to be her father. At home, she gets bossed around by a little boy who refuses to wear pants. She writes at Who's the Boss?