Embrace the crazy!

Last night it was raining.  Normally I love the sound of rain pitter-pattering outside my window.  But not now.  Not in this old apartment.  For some reason, the rain gutter right outside our bedroom window has issues.  LOUD issues.  Whenever there is much more than a sprinkle of rain, it sounds like a little elf is sitting outside my window rat-a-tat-tatting on the rain gutter.  “Bing. Bing. Bing. Bing. Bing. BING. BING! BING!!!!!”

It makes me crazy.  Or am I already crazy and the bing-bing-binging just brings it out?  I think it’s probably the latter, but whatever.  Anyway, I whined and complained and stomped my feet a little.  Finally, my dear husband went out and stuffed a diaper up this rain gutter’s bottom.  Oh, sweet relief!  No, wait.  Wait a minute.  Thump. Thump. Thump. Thump!  The ‘binging’ just went through puberty.  It’s voice got a little lower, but no less annoying.  I started to pack up and move to the couch when, thankfully, it stopped raining. So I went to bed…but not without earplugs and the air filter blasting by my side of the bed.  (PS: I ended up having a great night’s sleep. I didn’t hear the loud thunder or my baby crying last night.  It was great!)

The real question here is, why did the rain gutter make me certifiably insane?  My husband was ready to send me away to the nut house…and I was ready to go, for that matter.

Two weeks ago I really lost it. The stress of work, kids, blogging, Christmas, doctor’s appointments…it had taken its toll.  I’ve been feeling better the last week or so.  Not that life is less insane but, for some miracle of a reason, I’m dealing with the stress better.  I don’t know why or how, I just am.  But I’ve done a lot of thinking in the meantime, about how I’m handling the burdens, how I’m reacting to the frustrating things that happen. 

I don’t have any good answers for myself, but I’ve decided to embrace the crazy.  This encompasses several tactics.  First, when I start to feel myself going a little cuckoo, I’m going to tell myself, “It’s okay.”  I mean, who doesn’t lose it once in a while?  It is OKAY to be bugged by a stupid rain gutter.  Second, all of these things that are supposedly stressing me out?  They’re great things!  Well, most of the time (sitting at the doctor’s office for 3 hours was NOT great…but at least I have healthy kids).  Especially at this wonderful, if wild, time of year, I need to step back and really appreciate every moment.  The moments buried in all the “crazy” are what make life worth living.  They go too fast and I need to really soak it in, even when the rain gutter is spitting it out.

Original Silicon Valley Moms Blog post. Jane Maynard also blogs at This Week for Dinner, where she takes pretty pictures of food and fakes being a great cook.