Overcoming my fear of cooking, at a Silicon Valley Indian Market

"Twas the day before Thanksgiving, and a little voice inside me said, "Jill, it is time to cook, It is time to be adventurous with your cooking.  It is time to get over your fear of cooking and JUST DO IT.".  You see, my mother owns Thanksgiving, meaning that she does all the cooking and entertaining this one day of the year.  Yes, she owns the holiday (don't even ask...).  I don't even think about cooking or inviting friends and family over to our house on this holiday  It is off limits.  Which is probably a good thing, because I have this awful fear of cooking.  While it might be creative and fun for most of you, it is utterly stressful for me.  I can't even get passed opening the pages of the cookbook.  The panic just sets in LOOKING at the cookbook.

Mind you, with the best intentions to cook, I have an entire collection of unopened, unused cookbooks.  Purchasing the cookbooks is NOT my issue... it is the cooking part that stumps me.

Over the past year, the number of Gluten Free cookbooks have increased in the Asher home.  It is almost one year to date that I became gluten free.  The doctors have tested me for gluten allergies and Celiac, but everything has come back negative.  They think I am crazy or making this up...  My mother gives me that quizzical look, like I am turning into a Calfiornia hippy. What I can tell you for certain is that when i eat wheat, I get a nasty rash on my face and elbows, I puff up and I feel bloated.  Off wheat, i am fine.  I don't care what the doctors tell me - I know gluten is my enemy and that I need to keep away.

So what do I do?  I collect cookbooks and dream about being Rachael Ray or Martha Stewart or anyone with a cooking show.... but then I literally get stuck and revert back to the few recipes that are easy.  But oh, on this Thanksgiving eve, I decided to face my fears HEAD on and cook... get this.... INDIAN FOOD!

Now how in the world is this Jewish, Caucasian girl, who knows NOTHING (I MEAN NOTHING) about Indian food (other than eating at my favorite Silicon Valley, Indian restaurant, Saravana Bahavan) going to successfully accomplish an Indian meal?  Why brave it at the local, Sunnyvale Indian Market, India Cash and Carry. My husband found a recipe in my unopened cookbook, Madhur Jaffrey's World-Of-The-East Vegetarian Cooking and put a book mark on the page.  My part of the equation was to drive from Palo Alto to Sunnyvale and complete the purchase of spices, okra, lentils and rice.  Not too complicated, right?

But for this Mom of two, wife of one, friend to many..... this feat was daunting.  Simply daunting.

With the cookbook by my side, I drove twenty minutes to the Indian Market.  I parked the car and sat behind the wheel for a good ten minutes watching the shoppers go in and out of this bustling market.  What did I notice?  Everyone was Indian.... there were NO blond hair, scared Moms walking in or out of the store.  There were no other ethnic groups.....  So I sat there, went over my list and finally convinced myself to walk in to the market after the scary conversation repeated inside my head. All I could think about was my friend (and cooking coach), Citymama, telling me to get my lazy tush out of the car and begin shopping! I obeyed.

The smell of the market was powerful and intense.  The aroma of cumin, coriander, curry and other spices I did not recognize made me feel like I was in another country - not on El Camino Real in Sunnyvale, California.

I strolled around and began collecting my ingredients.  Some were easy to find, like lentils and rice.  But when it came to the spices, I simply could not find anything off my list.  That is when I got up the nerve and asked two women to help me on my quest.  Gently, I explained that I never cooked Indian food.  I then babbled something about being a horrible cook and not being about to cook much of anything.  That is when this elderly women took my hand, and began reading from my recipe book.  She led me to the spice section and told me about all the different flavors.  She put the spices I needed into my cart.  She then explained that I took the wrong vegetables off the shelf, and replaced them with sliced okra and fresh curry leaves.  Then, she swapped out the rice I initially selected and replaced it with another bag of basmatti.

Finally, she hugged me.  Yes, she hugged me and looked straight into my eyes and said, "Don't fear the unknown, darling.  Your meal will be delicious. Your family will be proud of you. Happy Thanksgiving."  And then, she walked away.

That evening, I went home and cooked my very first Indian meal, sweet-and-sour okra with chickpeas.  Lovingly, I measured, then placed the ingredients into a pan and cooked away.  The smell of my kitchen and home was one of Indian flavors. And while cooking, I realized that this was the very first "adventurous" meal I ever made.  Almost forty years old, I realized that this was my first time REALLY cooking, really trying something new and really doing it on my own.  Well, almost on my own....

My husband loved the meal.  My children loved the basmatti rice - the okra, not so much.

And for me?  Well, I have made a step towards overcoming my fear of cooking.  As they say, one step at time...... Though for me, this was a giant leap.

This is an original post to Silicon Valley Moms Blog. Jill Asher is the co-founder of Silicon Valley Moms Blog and now a big fan of Indian cooking.......