Silicon Valley Moms Blog

The Server is Down: My First Mother's Day

...cross posted from our sister site, Chicago Moms Blog.

Poor Kevin has had a hard time figuring out what to get me for this, my first Mother's Day as a mother.  He had planned to surprise me with a few nights at a B&B, so that I could actually write some fiction for a change -- since the semester started, I've had no time for anything other than teaching / baby / housework, and if I don't get to write fiction at least once a week, I start going a little crazy.  I get tense and angry at the world in general and Kevin in particular and sometimes I cry for no reason.  It's not good, and I keep trying to squeeze out a little time, but somehow, there just isn't any.  It's been a month since I got fiction writing done.

I should be thrilled with my life right now; I have everything I've ever wanted.  Loving partner, adorable child, part-time work I enjoy, and a passion for writing -- except that even though Kevin takes care of half the cooking, grocery shopping, dishes and childcare, there's still no time left for the passion for writing -- and there hasn't been so much time for passion with the loving partner either.  We tried scheduling Wednesday night sex, but last Wednesday I was too tired and weepy for that.  There just aren't enough hours in the day.

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When Enough Is Enough

....cross posted from our sister site, Chicago Moms Blog.

I was watching Oprah yesterday when Barbara Walters, of all people (I can't stand her), says something that just struck me to my core. She was talking about her special needs sister and how hard it is for parents of children with autism and that, although they love their children and would do anything for them, sometimes they think "it's just too much."

It's just too much.

I tear up as I even type that right now because really, what is so difficult about saying, "it's just too much" ? Why do I feel like I can't say it out loud when that's really how I feel? And so I did. I said it out loud. And it felt good. I am not the parent of a child with autism. I have been through my share of rough times. But it's just life in general right now that is overwhelming me. Whether it be as a Mother, wife, friend, or plain ol' human being. And I feel like I should pull up my big girl panties and just get over it. Toughen up. Get through the day. But I'm wiped out. I'm exhausted. I'm barely making it through the day and I have to say that this is no way to live, just barely getting by. I've had enough.

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Wrong Time for the Right Time

....cross posted from our sister site, Chicago Moms Blog.

The thing I miss most since becoming a parent?

Nookie.

You know, sex.

When we first brought that baby home, melting our hearts with his huge blue eyes, it was the farthest thing on my mind.

It's 7 years later. Enough already.

He works an early day so he can spend the rest of it with us. Which means the alarm goes off at 5:45AM  and I convulse with shock. Every morning. 'Cuz I'm slow that way.

I write freelance. Which means I stay up after the kid (and man) have gone to sleep, tip-tapping furiously away. Yo Yo Ma's sprightly tones drifting through the speakers.

But the funny part? I used to be THE Morning Lark. And him? The Night's Original Owl.

A week or so goes by and we'll look at each other like starved ocelots desperate for some of Fuddrucker's finest.

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Why Is Texas Punishing the Victims in the FLDS Case?

....cross posted from our sister site, Chicago Moms Blog.

I've been watching the case of the children removed from the Texas compound Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints with a heavy heart and conflicting opinions. As much as I abhor the practices of the FLDS community, my heart breaks for those mothers and children being separated. At least, I told myself, they're letting the smallest children stay with their mommies.

Today, they took the mothers away from the babies ages 12 months and up.

I don't like this group, a radical sect disavowed by the Mormon church that embraces polygamy and under-aged marriage and motherhood. I don't think we should just live and let live when it comes to communities where teenage girls are abused in this way.

I read Jon Krakauer's "Under the Banner of Heaven" and I have seen FLDS escapee Carolyn Jessop speak about her experiences. What she describes is child abuse, not just a cultural difference.

Yet I cannot understand how separating toddlers -- some still nursing -- from their mothers is going to help them. I cannot imagine what kind of experience hundreds of children had in that coliseum without their parents.

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First cougars, now earthquakes?

It feels as if the ten plagues of Egypt are upon us.  I know Passover starts tomorrow night, but come on world, first you send a cougar into our benign neighborhood, and then last night, you provide us with a 5.2 magnitude earthquake? In the middle of Chicago?

My husband thought I was crazy this morning when I woke up and told him I thought I felt the house shake earlier, but when we turned on the news, I was vindicated. Apparently, the Illinois Basin - Ozark Dome region, which hasn't shook since 1968 got a little rattled last night. The quake could be felt as far north as Lake County Illinois and even the Upper Peninsula of Michigan!

I checked around our house, and everything seems to be in order. I don't expect locusts to appear at our door tomorrow morning, but I can't help to wonder what's next. It's just been that kind of week. If things keep up this way, I might have to Exodus myself out of this state for awhile.   

Cross-posted from our sister site Chicago Moms Blog.

Sent from my iPhone

.....cross posted from our sister site, Chicago Moms Blog.

You know the emails. Your snazzy friends with their high tech gadgets send you an email and the signature at the bottom is just enough to rub it in some more: Sent from my iPhone. You can remove that signature, you know. You don't have to keep it on there.

I was happy with my beat up Motorola flip phone that doesn't even text and, if it did, I didn't know how to anyway. Maybe in some ways I remained loyal to that darn cell phone that sometimes worked just to prove I didn't need to upgrade to something, um, "smart."

As much as I love blogging and networking, I was rebelling against the need to constantly be connected every minute of every day. Twitter was about to send me over the edge. And then I just read this scary piece in the New York Times about the stress of keeping up with the 24/7 life in the Internet world. Bloggers falling over dead just because they wanted to be the first to blog about the latest "it" thing to talk about even though it would just be old news tomorrow anyway?

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Blogging & Paper & Print, Oh My

....This is cross posted from our sister site, Chicago Moms Blog.

Mommy bloggers, hold onto your keyboards.

Guess how many blogs there are.

75 million, according to a C/Net article.

Mind-boggling.  Er, mind-bloggling.

Other statistics I found:

- 2006: an estimated 30 million readers of millions of blogs daily

- 2006: 100 million websites with domain names and content

With the introduction of the World Wide Web some 15 years ago, experts predicted the demise of paper.  Hmm.  Judging by the promotional literature and junk mail in our mailbox, trees are expiring at an alarming rate.  One stroll in an Office Depot confirms paper is not dead.

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Man (woman) Is Pregnant

Cross posted from our sister site, Chicago Moms Blog.....

Okay. I have serious beef with this bun in the oven (applause for triple-pun use). I was on a business trip, in a bar when I saw the news clip: "First pregnant Man." Whaaaat? I swiveled my chair, tuned out the salesman and paid attention. I have always wanted this (when I was puking every 30 minutes and had to take Zofran for 5 months, I kept warning my husband this day would come, and I would throw him into the vast test trials.) I find it fascinating and frightening what the medical arena is churning out. (stem cells from teeth...c'mon,who thunk that up?)And..surprise, surprise. It's a big-media spin. Sigh.

Look, I get it. I understand the need for generating interest, perhaps even sensationalizing things to compete with 24 hour news channels, but can we get serious here? This is a WOMAN who had her boobs removed, took testosterone to be a he, but kept her uterus. More power to him. They want a family, and they have that right, as they should. But not only is describing it to you a pronoun nightmare, it is a waste of my time. Don't get me wrong. I am annoyed for reasons you probably aren't imagining. Would it be difficult to explain to my child? Sure, but that shouldn't effect what someone else wants to do with their.....

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Mothers-in-Law... Love or Indifference?

Cross posted from our sister site, Chicago Moms Blog.....

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You need only to watch a few minutes of the show "Everybody Loves Raymond" to be aware of the dynamic between Ray's wife and his mother. Uncomfortable conflict, constant belittling, yet sometimes sincere love. It makes for good humor, entertaining television. But what if that is your reality? Is it funny anymore? My relationship with my mother-in-law is not quite to that extreme, but we have some moments that are pretty close.

Growing up as a military kid, I was raised to believe that your family was all you really had. Everyone else in your life was probably temporary. But your family, they would be with you no matter what. So in college when the boy I was falling in love with was from the local area, I was anxious to meet his family and get to know them. Like having family away from my family, right?  Kind of. Years later, hubby and I still live in the same area and so does his family. It has its benefits, for sure. I am so grateful that my mother-in-law watches my son on the one day a week I work out of the home. She adores him and he has a ball with her. I love that my sister-in-laws live fairly close and can come hang out occasionally or babysit in a pinch. But there have been several situations over the years that bring me to question the true nature of the mother-in-law/daughter-in-law relationship.

How close can we expect to be to our mothers-in-law? It is not like our relationship with our actual mother, yet shouldn't it be close and loving too? My mother-in-law is very loving, to my son and to her sons. But if anyone ever crosses her, she is not so loving anymore.

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Who needs "please" when we've got guns?

...cross posted from our sister site, Chicago Moms Blog.

Ralphie: “I want an official Red Ryder, carbine-action, 200-shot range model air rifle, with a compass in the stock and this thing that tells time.”

Mom: “You’ll shoot your eye out.”

We all know Ralphie Parker, the quintessential toy gun owner from “A Christmas Story”. In the world of hot parenting topics, boys and imaginary gunplay ranks at the top. And I became personally affected when my four year old was recently given the gift of a toy gun; which I politely rejected. Even though I don’t allow it, my boys will go to great lengths to make a gun out of anything: their finger, a stack of legos, even a sandwich. In a culture already filled with toy soldiers, armed pirates, violent video games and images of real war, I find it unnerving to see an innocent child pretending to kill someone. I keep asking myself if I’m giving it far more power by forbidding it.

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