Silicon Valley Moms Blog

The Mall Police: Me

My mom was in a wheelchair when I was a kid. She's all good now, but a few childhood things remain. One, having a mom in a wheelchair gets you to the front of every line at Disneyland. Two, wheelchair races are not for sissies;  and three, the closer you get to the holidays, the harder it is to navigate stores. As you know, wheelchair-bound or not, shopping displays. life-size Santas and hoards of merchandise racks are a bitch to work around.

My Mall Police badge of honor started in 2003 when my twins were born. I'd gone to the mall and realized in horror that I couldn't get through aisles in stores I normally could navigate with my double-wide Twin Savvy Stroller (or any of the other six strollers I had at the time). I walked into a store in San Jose and literally could not get to the items I wanted to see. As I pulled my stroller backwards to wiggle my way in, I noticed a wheelchair-bound woman trying to shop in the aisle. Eventually she gave up and left the store. In a rage, so did I.

What to tell kids about cancer?

Last night, my family and I participated, for the first time ever, in the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society's Light the Night walk event in Palo Alto. As an 8-year survivor of Hodgkin's Lymphoma, I am thankful that organization such as LLS exists. LLS's Team in Training program was a great source of support for me during and after my treatment (Go Team!). As a mom, though, I struggle a bit with events like this. See, my kids don't know that I am a cancer survivor.

During treatment - a lovely combination of toxic chemo and radiation - my body was put into temporary menopause. The cocktail I received (ah...nitrogen mustard, love I loved seeing you come out on a tray, carried by a nurse in full body armor, only to be put directly into my veins) was actually designed to preserve my fertility. As a 28-year-old cancer patient (and newlywed), it was important to me and my husband to be able to come out the other side and have a chance at a family, provided I survived. Survival rates for Hodgkin's are actually quite good. At the time of my treatment, it was something like 97% survival. Perhaps it is more now. But what my doctors worried about was not necessarily the short-term effects (they thought I would survive), but the long-term effects. Would I be able to have a family? Will I develop breast or lung cancer or heart disease 20 years post-treatment, due to the beatings of chemo and radiation that saved my life?

Second Harvest Food Bank

Every year my company holds a Volunteer Week.  The company does a fantastic job of proactively identifying volunteer opportunities throughout the year for those who are civic-service minded.  But then in late September, they do a big push to get every employee across the nation to volunteer in their community. There’s an entire website to connect volunteers with projects .  In the Bay Area alone, there were over 25 projects for employees to sign-up.

I picked the one closest to my home.  I’ll admit that I was a little disappointed that it meant that I’d lose three hours on a Saturday morning.  Yes, I was being selfish with my time.  I’m a busy working mom with weekends that can be more stressful than my meeting schedule.  I’d much rather have found a community service project that was in the morning during the week… might as well kill two birds with one stone and get a break from work while serving my community.  But alas, I picked convenience of the local over my desire to play hooky at work.

And on last Saturday, I showed up to the Second Harvest Food Bank with 20 other employees of my company to bag produce for needy families in my community.

Do One Nice Thing by Debbie Tenzer: A Silicon Valley Moms Group Book Club

September has brought a lot of back to school craziness to many moms, but we are also focusing on things outside of our own busy lives. This month, for Silicon Valley Moms Group bloggers' monthly book club, we are reading and discussing a book full of nice things to help the world become a better place. 

Join in as Silicon Valley Moms Group bloggers discuss book Do One Nice Thing by Debbie Tenzer.

• New Jersey Moms Blog's Lori leads us off with a chain of compassion
• Julie from Just Precious does many nice things
• Jennifer from Connect with your Teens is sharing the message of nice things with her family
• Amy from Le ShallowGal ponders whether telling people about her good deeds lessens them
•  Bonggamom from Finding Bonggamom notices that even kids can do one nice thing
• Heidi from Coast 2 Coast Mom passes it on when companies do one nice thing
• Jessica from It's My Life says you already do one nice thing
• Rebecca from Life With Boys tell herself to just be nice
• Chefdruck from Chefdruck Musings was feeling most sorry for herself when she saw him
• Amy from Occupation Mommy is helping her daughters do nice things for their sister
• Samantha from Temporarily Me Dot Com is made happy by giving her money away
• Kristie from Real Mommy Reviews asks "can you do one nice thing?"
• Melanie from Reviews from the Crib likes to keep her goals small and attainable
• Linsey from Me Too You substitutes one nice thing for another
• Rox from Rox and Roll inspires her children with The Box Project
• Stacy from Laptop TV Mom realizes that she needs to look beyond her four walls and not just when it's convenient for her

More posts will be put up throughout the day on our writer's personal sites, so be sure to check back to follow along.

New Jersey Moms Blog is hosting the book club discussion this month. Please go here to leave a comment and join in the discussion.

Read about the book Do One Nice Thing here.

Past Silicon Valley Moms Group Book Clubs have included:

• Birth Day by Mark Sloan, M.D.
  
• What Happened to the Girl I Married? by Michael Miller
• Testimony by Anita Shreve
• Comfort Food by Kate Jacobs
• Much to Your Chagrin by Suzanne Guilette
  
• It Started with Pop-Tarts by Lori Hanson
• Who By Fire by Diana Spechler
• The White Trash Moms Handbook by Michelle Lamar
• Writing Motherhood by Lisa Garrigues
• The Vaccine Book by Dr. Robert W. Sears
• The Other Mother by Gwendolen Gross

If you are an author or a publisher and have a book that you would like to submit for consideration for a future Silicon Valley Moms Group book club, please contact us at info (at) svmoms dot com.

Do One Nice Thing by Debbie Tenzer: Join us for Silicon Valley Moms Group's next Book Club on Tuesday, September 29th

How do we, as parents, make the world a better place? A nicer place? Has it changed since we became parents? Can it really take doing one nice thing? Join us on Tuesday, September 29th as we discuss Do One Nice Thing by Debbie Tenzer for our next book club.

About the book: A few years ago, Debbie Tenzer was feeling overwhelmed by all the crises in the news. But rather than give in to despair, she thought, Maybe I can’t solve our big problems, but I know I can do something. She realized that helping doesn’t have to be difficult or expensive or time-consuming. You can help simply by doing one nice thing. So that’s what she vowed to do, one day a week. Not every day–she says she’s not that nice–but once a week was a promise she could keep.

So she started a website, DoOneNiceThing.com, and each week she posted an easy way to help people around town or across the globe. Good news traveled fast, and now Debbie is the leader of a worldwide kindness movement with fellow Nice-o-holics in ninety countries. They’ve sent . . .

• cans of food to food banks and schools
• notebooks to soldiers who will give them to Afghan children
• gifts to foster children whose birthdays are overlooked
• and much more

Do One Nice Thing has many new, easy ideas for small deeds that anyone can do (and includes explicit information on how exactly to execute the ideas, so you don’t have to go digging for information or resources). There’s even a chapter of nice things you can do in minutes without leaving your desk.

Join Debbie and her army of Nice-o-holics, and give the world some help–and some hope. Best of all, the more help you give, the more hopeful you’ll feel. And before you know it, you won’t be able to stop.

Read along with us: Buy your copy of the book today and get ready to discuss with us on Tuesday, September 29th. See you at book club!

Past Silicon Valley Moms Group Book Clubs have included:

• Birth Day by Mark Sloan, M.D.
• What Happened to the Girl I Married? by Michael Miller
• Testimony by Anita Shreve
  
• Comfort Food by Kate Jacobs
  
• Much to Your Chagrin by Suzanne Guilette
  
• It Started with Pop-Tarts by Lori Hanson
  
• Who By Fire by Diana Spechler
• The White Trash Moms Handbook by Michelle Lamar
• Writing Motherhood by Lisa Garrigues
• The Vaccine Book by Dr. Robert W. Sears
• The Other Mother by Gwendolen Gross

Read along with us: Buy your copy of the book today and get ready to discuss with us on Tuesday, September 29th. See you at book club!

Past Silicon Valley Moms Group Book Clubs have included:

• Birth Day by Mark Sloan, M.D.
• What Happened to the Girl I Married? by Michael Miller
• Testimony by Anita Shreve
  
• Comfort Food by Kate Jacobs
  
• Much to Your Chagrin by Suzanne Guilette
  
• It Started with Pop-Tarts by Lori Hanson
  
• Who By Fire by Diana Spechler
• The White Trash Moms Handbook by Michelle Lamar
• Writing Motherhood by Lisa Garrigues
• The Vaccine Book by Dr. Robert W. Sears
• The Other Mother by Gwendolen Gross

It takes a village

Around this time last year, I spent a week in San Francisco on business.  Even though I live in Silicon Valley, my manager and I agreed that the commute was too much for the long hours I was going to work so I booked a week a four-star hotel in the city and went on my merry way. 

I am a Bay Area native and have heard new reports practically my whole life about the "homeless problem" in San Francisco.  When I was newly licensed driver, my dad took me to the city to make sure that I didn't get lost and end up in a bad neighborhood.  Every time I have come to San Francisco, I have seen people living on the streets.  But something about this business trip made me more aware of the issue.  Instead of seeing well dressed financial folks and wide-eyed tourists, I could not take my eyes off the people of the streets.

In fact, my week in San Francisco has haunted me ever since.

I watched a disabled veteran get into a scuffle with a gawking tourist.  I saw men older than my father sleep on the street.  For all the women dressed in glamorous clothes as they power walk to their high-profile job, there was as many homeless women wearing the only clothes they own.  There was more than one man in a wheelchair and a woman asking for money with a baby on her hip.  An elderly man was drinking from a brown paper bag while he sat on the steps of a church. 

My heart raced when I walked down a street where a group of homeless are clustered.  I am not used to this.  It's uncomfortable.  I was afraid.  When did they become the enemy?  Something to be feared instead of someone to save?

The People Stimulus: The heart of Silicon Valley

I live in Silicon Valley where 3 bedroom 2 bath homes in the "desirable" neighborhood can sell for upwards of $2 million.  This is a place where the sunshines brightly, innovation is golden, and schools are highly competitive.  But this is also the place where a small business owner who makes $90,000 a year and pays $36,000 a year for her husband's medication and $30,000 in mortgage and property taxes is told  she makes too much money for student aid for her college bound senior (a straight A student by the way)  and should be able to afford $27,000 a year in tuition.  And this is also the place where just across from treelined Palo Alto with neighborhoods named Crescent Park and Professorville sits East Palo Alto with homeless children, women not being able to afford proper prenatal care, and people living in homes too unsafe to be legal.  While nonprofits are finding monetary donations and grants dwindling, I am heartened by the people factor that has the power to truly help in many cases.

My Fantasy Charity: One Laptop Per Mom

If I could fund any fantasy charity it would be called something like "One Laptop Per Mom (and others)". Beyond the current "One Laptop Per Child" programs, I would like to target Moms, Dads, Teachers, Community Organizers (per Sheila BD) and even animal shelters (as Jill C. reminded me) IN NEED! While big local Silicon Valley companies like Cisco, Google, HP, Intel  and many others understand the impact of donating technology, I would like to start on a smaller scale and enable those in charge of taking care/educating of others with at least one (Wi-Fi enabled) laptop. With a Wi-Fi enabled laptop even those without internet access in their house can utilize free Wi-Fi hot spots.

Why laptops?

Our Daily Bread: Making it fun for kids to give throughout the year

I grew up with parents who gave back to their community on a very regular basis - food drives, volunteering at the recycling center, serving dinner at the homeless shelter, doing the heavy lifting to help set up whatever, whenever. I remember being toted around with my sister to this place and that, to lend a little help...and sometimes to do something big. My mom and dad have both sat on the board of many a non-profit over the years. Volunteering was just the norm for them. The standard they have set is too high for me to ever possibly match, but I do believe there is something that every person can give. And that helping others is not just a holiday event. Sharing this with our kids can set the stage for how they will conduct themselves as they become contributing adults of our society.

Living 3 miles away from my parents, my kids spend a lot of time with their grandparents and they are now experiencing the same thing I did. Every Thursday, my 71-year-old dad meets "the guys" (his fellow volunteers) for breakfast. After they fuel up, they head over to Trader Joe's to load up whatever food the store is donating that day (usually meat, fruit and veggies, bakery items - think things that are getting close to their spoilage date. Trader Joe's is VERY generous - another reason to love that store - I mean, besides the fact that they give balloons and stickers to the kids and have great healthy food that kids will actually eat!) and they take it over to Santa Maria Urban Ministries in downtown San Jose, a facility that aids needy families with emergency food, clothing, education and more. A couple of weeks ago, my 3 little kids and I accompanied my dad on his trip to Santa Maria. My dad and I had been talking about the food needs getting larger while the aid gets smaller. And, especially since I have been talking with my kids a lot about (as we call it) The Money Problem, I thought it would be a good time to start giving the kids a real in-person taste of lending a helping hand.

2008 Donors Choose Blogger Challenge - reaching out across the blogosphere, one post at a time!

For the month of October 2008, Silicon Valley Moms Group has partnered with DonorsChoose.org, to help spread the word about the lack of funding and support needed for our public schools The premise behind Donor's Choose is quite simple and effective. Through DonorsChoose.org, teachers request what they need and write a descriptive proposal of how funding will benefit their classroom. Some of the requests are basic: note books for a third grade class so the children can learn cursive, markers and highlighters, a binding machine, books, a digital camera, pencils (yes, PENCILS!), chart paper and washable colored markers. Others are to enhance the education environment in a creative way. Trust me, you'll be shocked and floored over as you read through the many requests.  And you will want to help.....

Since Silicon Valley Moms Group is spread throughout the country, we have made it simple for you to see requests from teachers in each region.  Please click on the links below to learn about requests in YOUR area... and please consider making a donation.  Skip that latte or cappuccino today - and give those few dollars to our public school classrooms! Your donation would be greatly appreciated. There is no donation too small or too big when we’re talking about supporting the education of our children.

• Los Angeles
• Silicon Valley
• Deep South
• DC Metro
• New York City
• New Jersey
• Chicago

We also wanted to give a HUGE SHOUT OUT (and link-love) to SV Moms Group Contributors that have already posted about DonorsChoose.org on their personal sites and blogs.  As Parents and bloggers, we are passionate about the public schools system and lack of funding to educate ALL our children. Regardless of our political views, public school teachers should not have to request the essentials to teach! As a country, we should be doing better.  Our teachers and students deserve more......THANK YOU SV MOM GROUP CONTRIBUTORS for spreading the word across the blogosphere!

• Beth from Techmamas:  DonorsChoose.org Challenge:  Donate To Help Schools
• Jamie from Blonde Mom Blog:  Help Make A Difference In Our Public Schools
• Leticia from Tech Savvy Mama:  Website of the Week:  Support Public Education with DonorsChoose.org
• Meghan from Meaghan's Mindless Muttering:  Donor's Choose
• Jodi from Jodifur:  I Know That These Are Hard Economocial Times
• Lotus from Sarcastic Mom:  Definitely Good For The Kids
• Amy from Selfish Mom:  Help Out Some Public Schools
• Florinda from The 3R'S: Reading, 'Riting, And Randomness:  Saturday Review 10-4 (good buddy)
• Ana from Finding Bonggamom:  Give, baby, give!
• Nicole from Not Just A Working Mom: Help a kid out... Invest in our future... Are you up for the Challenge?
• Robyn from Who's The Boss?: What if you could change the world for the price of a latte?
• Josephine from MOMMYVENTS: Help a teacher out.....
• Melissa from Cool Stuff We Dig:  We Dig the DonorsChoose.org Blogger Challenge
• MJ from ChicagoMomViews.net:  Chicago Public Schools need us!
• Jessica from Surely You Nest:  DonorsChoose - Targeted Gifts to Public School Class Projects
• Lisa from Blog On The Wall: Help Impoverished Public Schools
• Stacy from Fabulous Miss S.:  Boogers and Giving and DC Metro Moms Donor Challenge
• Karen from SOBCon08:  Karen Putz Shares Her World
• Michele from Mom Without A Map:  Keep The Momentum Going
• Shelli from BagMomma:  Invest In Education
• Stacey from Laptop TV Mom:  Donors Choose:  Buying Books for our Schools
• Jessica from Jessica Gottlieb:  Hey, Mom, This Means You
• Donya from Crooked Eyebrow:  It's Your Choice.....
• Cindy from We All Fall Down:  Help Chicago Schoolchildren
• Sara from Self Made Mom:  Hi, I'm Alive
• Lia from Freitas Family Follies: Donors Choose: Help A Teacher Out
• Dayna from Bourbon Baybee:  A Poser Donates
• Myrna from Tangerine Times: Donors Choose Blogger Challenge

We also have many friends and bloggers throughout the blogosphere sharing the SV Moms Group - DonorsChoose.org Blogger Challenge!  THANK YOU for helping us spread the word!

• Six Apart/blogs.com:  Bloggers, Start Your Engines!
• Burbed.com:  Silicon Valley Moms Blog Donors Choose
• Dad Or Bust:  Laughs are only a nickel
• Successful and Outstanding Bloggers:  Karen Putz on the Chicago Moms Blog  Donors Choose Challenge

If you have put up a post about our DonorsChoose Blogger Challenge on your personal blogs/sites, please leave a comment below and we will make sure to add your link to this post.

Jill Asher is the Co-Founder of Silicon Valley Moms Group.