Silicon Valley Moms Blog

Vacation Food Pyramid

It's summer in the northern hemisphere! (I have to qualify that for my South American, South African, Australian, and other souther hemispherean readers)

And summertime means vacation. Whether you're running around Europe, exploring Asia, or relaxing in Fiji, you're probably quite happy leaving the cooking to chefs. After all, unless you're camping, who wants a vacation where you're preparing meals and cleaning up after yourself?

Um....my brothers and me? In recent years, our families have gotten together for a week during the summer to lounge in a big house and let the kids run wild.  The adults sip gin and tonics or whatever cocktail, and everyone enjoys tons of food. Vacation is our time to get creative with meal planning.

One thing is constant during these trips - we stick to the vacation food pyramid.

Tivo Killed Family TV Night

Growing up, family TV nights for me were a treat. I have vivid memories of my brothers, mom, dad and I sitting together to watch our favorite shows at their scheduled times. Monday Night Football with Dandy Don Meredith and Howard Cosell. Sunday night Disney movies. Bob Newhart and Mary Tyler Moore. The Bionic Man and Kung Fu.

As a kid, I could recite TV schedules for our favorite shows better than a church-going friend of mine could recite Bible verses. I devoured every copy of TV Guide, and loved doing the crossword in the back. (Gilligan Vixen, 6 letters...)

Now that I'm a single parent raising teens, you'd think I'd have fond memories of my present day family watching our favorite TV shows together.

You'd be wrong. For us, Tivo killed family TV night.

Celebrity Backyard Barbeque

For several years running, I've thrown a majorly fun summer kickoff barbeque. I invite neighbors, coworkers, friends old and new for a pot-luck dinner centered around the grill. The memories are indelible - soccer moms boozing up on gin and tonics, soccer dads getting their butts kicked by kids at croquet, everyone munching our worlds best hamburger recipe, or holding out for our Jamaican jerk grilled chicken marinade recipe. And I'll never forget the one time by coincidence, everyone brought dessert. Not only that, they brought the same dessert - paper plates full of brownies. (I've since assigned food groups alphabetically.)

Sadly, with the down economy, there's a different feel in the air. My suburban neighbors and friends are fretting about finances, stressed about careers, hardly in a mood to make witty and unimportant conversation (a key ingredient for any summer barbeque.)

Who needs dour company? With everyone experiencing money problems, I'm thinking about making a change.

I'll take a page from People magazine, and invite reality celebrities to spice things up.

Giving Back Starts Young

This past weekend, I enjoyed some father and son alone time when we biked to an outdoor art show in Los Altos. For the uninitiated, Los Altos is a somewhat affluent town in Silicon Valley, and borders Los Altos Hills, which has a good number of monster homes with killer views. The show itself was marketed as being "fine art". (Which to my untrained eye meant the paintings were bigger and more expensive than those found at other shows.)

If you're wondering what a dad and his teen son are doing at an art show like this - keep in mind, I'm divorced and on the prowl for a woman. And my son is a teenager on the prowl for food - pizza, soda, ice cream, corn on the cob, homemade hamburger, and whatever else they sell in the food tents!

When we arrived, the Boy Scouts were there to valet park our bicycles for us, free of charge. And the girl scouts handed out programs, free of charge. Very nice gestures by both groups. As a scout, my son has done his share of service work like that.

But one well-dressed sixty-something woman had an odd reaction to these youth volunteers.

She tried to pay them.

I Love Raising Teens

As a divorced dad looking for love (or a night of sex, or even just companionship), I've been on a lot of first dates. Invariably, the women I'm out on the town with will ask about my kids. I tell them I have half-time custody of two children who at this moment are both teens - a 13-year-old boy, and a 17-year-old girl.

Eyes widen. Eyebrows raise. "How's that going?" is the typical response.

For some reason, there's a wide-spread belief that raising teenagers is akin to raising pit bulls without a leash and collar. Hungry pit bulls that snarl and snap when they don't get fed. Mad dogs that have the run of the grounds.

"It's going great," I invariably respond.

Cue the looks of shock. But I can't help it - I love raising teens.

Healthy Diet for Teen Athletes

Even before my daughter started playing soccer at the age of five, her mom and I fed her a healthy diet for athletes. It wasn't too hard getting her to eat healthy meals - her mom and I both work out a lot, so we already eat a healthy diet to fuel our sports. (I also drink mojitos, and eat dessert. Just not right before a race.) We put good food in front of her, and she ate it.

Now that my daughter is a teen, she's playing soccer and running track as a high school varsity athlete. She and her teammates are having great seasons, going to the playoffs for soccer, and beating every team in sight for track, setting school and meet records in the process.

The weird thing about these other high school kids? Most don't eat a healthy diet for athletes.

They eat like teens.

Wedding Band Envy

I've been divorced for nine years now, so you'd think if I was going to remarry, I would have done it by now. I've dated loads of women, had handfuls of girlfriends, and almost got married twice. But, I'm still single. Single dad and single mom dating is complicated. I don't want to bring just anyone around my kids.

Lately, though, with my teen daughter starting to think about what college she'll attend, I am pondering what my empty nest years will be like.

One word comes to mind: lonely.

It's with this awareness that I suddenly find myself checking out the ring fingers of every person I come across. I fear I have a case of wedding band envy.

Track Season is for Lovers

My daughter's been playing soccer since she was five, and I am the consummate soccer dad. I drive her to practice. I happily watch her games. I attend weekend tournaments that require sleep-overs in hotels. (Oddly enough, her club team schedules those trips to places like Sonoma where there are plenty of wineries. Suffice to say, the team parents are a fun group.)

So when my daughter went out for her high school track team, I didn't know what to expect. She didn't need rides to practice - they workout at the track right after school. Instead of ninety-minute soccer games where she plays most of the match, she had four-hour track meets where she might compete twice. And sadly, there were no weekend winery sleep-overs.

How's a soccer-dad turned track-dad supposed to cope?

There's tons a dad needs to know about his daughter. But in this case, simply realizing that track is a coed social event is the only important thing.

Online Grades - The Prius Effect

Since I'm a divorced dad with joint custody, my kids spend equal time in mom's house and dad's house. A two-home setup like this makes homework more of a challenge. The easy part is making sure learning materials are in the right house on the right night. Our kids often get two copies of textbooks, one for each home. And it's a short bike ride between houses if materials need to be fetched.

The harder part (for one of our kids) is maintaining good grades. Sure, that can be a problem in any one-house family. But it's more difficult with two homes, especially with a child who occasionally needs parental tutoring help.  For instance, if I help our son learn a concept at my house, I can't follow through and make sure he's mastered it when he moves onto his mom's later in the week. She can help him, but she doesn't know everything I might have taught him. Plus, we sometimes don't even know he needs help until well after the fact. He takes pride in completing his work all on his own, and he's at an age where we don't check it.

Technology came to the rescue this year. He's now at a school where grades are posted online, and guess what - he's doing far better in school than ever before. I attribute this to the Prius Effect.

A Father Putting the F in FDIC

My daughter recently asked what she should do with some money she's been saving these past few months. As a teen she makes the most of her limited income opportunities. She occasionally baby sits, referees soccer games (mainly for gas money), saves money received from gifts, and pulls down allowance and chore money in both her mom's house and dad's house. (And she didn't get a twenty billion dollar end-of-year bonus.)

Her mom and I are divorced, and while we do our best to coparent amicably, we do have different views on money, and offer our kids different guidance. Their mom is all about being a conscientious consumer. She has the kids buy their own clothes, pay for sports equipment and pet supplies, and put aside whatever's left over for a dream purchase. Solid financial concepts.