Silicon Valley Moms Blog

A Mammogram and a Red Carnation

All the women exiting the door were carrying long-stem red or pink carnations. When the red carnation was pressed into my hand, I'd dismissed it as a cheesy representation of cheap champagne and rented limos. Puh-lease, I thought, exiting the room empty handed.

A few days later, a thin letter arrived in the mail. I knew the drill. A thin letter almost always delivers the very good news that test results were normal. I tore open the letter and had already mentally filed it away when I did a double take. What's this? I held the letter up closer, it said:

Your recent mammogram showed a finding that requires additional imaging studies for a complete evaluation. Most such findings are benign (not cancer). Please call us to schedule an appointment for these tests if you have not already done so. A report of your results was sent to your doctor.

Oh.

Immediately, my hand went to my breasts and then to the keyboard. Google, be my friend, I prayed.

I hope none of us gets REALLY sick

I’ve posted previously on the state of healthcare here in the UK. Nearly 2.5 years after leaving Silicon Valley, my opinions haven’t changed.

In fact, can I just tell the entire world how much I am missing Welch Road Pediatrics and the Lucille Packard Children’s Hospital right now? I know the U.S. healthcare system isn't perfect; indeed, it is spectacularly messed up, particularly for the uninsured or underinsured. But somehow compared to the National Health Service in the U.K. it seems to me the far better option. In the U.S., I always felt that my family and I would receive quality care, even if it bankrupted us. Here, I find myself crossing my fingers and hoping that none of us gets really sick.

A couple of weeks ago as my daughter was getting ready for bed, she stood in her usual place on the third step in the stairwell and lifted her arms for me to pick her up.  She's five now, so my picking her up usually involves her bending her knees and giving a little jump to help me out. As I lifted her, my left hand felt something strange. I set her back down and asked her to lift up her nightgown so I could look at her ribs.

Sleeping with The Pinball Wizard

“That deaf, dumb and blind kid sure plays a mean pinball.”
-    Pinball Wizard, The Who, 1969, Tommy album

By day, he’s a ferocious technology conqueror seeking out opportunities to crush the competition, raise his team’s stature and sally forth in the pursuit of the Next Big Thing.

Ahh, but when the lights dim across this sleepy Silicon Valley suburb, he tucks his sweet children into bed, rolls into the deep abyss of our king size bed and transforms himself instantly into: Tommy. The Pinball Wizard. The “deaf, dumb and blind kid”.  You know, the one The Who sing about in the classic 1969 song.

He accomplishes this with the simplest of tools: eye shades, ear plugs and the mouth guard, rendering him utterly unable to see the bathroom light come on as the middle child is vomiting at midnight; helpless to detect the cough, cough, COUGH of the 10 year old’s raspy onset of a chest cold at 3 a.m., much less the repetitive and demanding moaning of the cat unintentionally left outside in the cold. And, in the rare case of  “Honey, I can’t sleep, can we talk about what happened today?” … well, fuhgetaboutit. He’s speechless.

It doesn’t matter which side of the bed I sleep on – and I do try to switch it up -- the children come find me – the one who can see and hear and respond to them in the middle of the night.

The problem with healthcare

During the Superbowl (don't ask me who won or even who was playing) I spent 4 hours in the Urgent Care (not to be mistaken for the emergency room) with my daughter waiting to be seen for 5 minutes.  This is the fourth time in two years that I have been an Urgent Care facility for one of my daughters or myself (why don't we ever get sick during normal business hours?)  At this point, I feel I can rant in an educated manner.

Unfortunately, I have been so frustrated in the past that this is not my first post regarding our health care system.  After this previous post, I was shocked to find that when I called my pediatrician's office the next day as was advised, I was not able to get an appointment with him OR anyone else in his practice for my 9 month old who had just been diagnosed with pneumonia.  Shocking!  I almost left the system then for a boutique practice here in Silicon Valley, Burgess Pediatrics.  My friend is one of the doctors there, and I think the concept is great if way out of my budget.  It's a style of medicine where there are less patients, more time with the doctor, in house visits and in general that personal touch we all savor especially when it comes to our kids.

Vote YES on Santa Clara County Measure A

This past week I have been feeling ill - nauseous, tired, run down.  As moms you know, I sound pregnant don't I?   I am not, but I sure was worried.  My family is covered under COBRA health insurance, which means we have 18 months from the time my husband's start up shut down to either find insurance or get a new job.  Yes, we write a LARGE check each month for health care.  Yes,  I was beginning to imagine the scenario of what would happen of when we reached the end of COBRA benefits and I was 6 months pregnant.  (I took a test and I am not pregnant - whew!) Regardless, we are fine.  There are many others who are in dire situations without benefits and no other options.

We have all heard the talks about providing good health care for everyone in our country.   Until that happens, people in Santa Clara County without health care have few places to get aid - Valley Medical Center is one of those places.  More over, if you got into an accident on the freeway and needed a trauma center or burn unit, you would most likely get sent to Valley Medical Center, which is the regions busiest trauma center. You might not think you need VMC today, but what if you did and it simply wasn't there.

VMC maintains one of only two Burn Trauma Centers in California north of Los Angeles. The other is in Davis. If you are badly burned in the Bay Area, you will come to Valley Medical Center.  VMC maintains the highest level trauma center in the immediate area. If you are in need of trauma services, the chances are good that you will come to Valley Medical Center.

Every Child By Two: Vaccines for All?

Yesterday morning, "Every Child By Two," created by Rosalynn Carter and Betty Bumpers kicked off its new website and campaign to educate the public about vaccines. A press conference featured actress Amanda Peet, physician Dr. Paul Offit (whose book I reviewed about a year ago,) and Ann Hotez, a mother who has a daughter with autism. The purpose of the website and of the conference this morning is to dispel myths. It was set up as a defense against "the misinformation on the internet."

I was on the conference call associated with the press conference. Although I was unable to ask questions of the panel, I had the opportunity to listen in. To be honest, my main concern was about how parents would be portrayed. I wasn’t necessarily on the call to be "convinced" to vaccinate, for my kids haven’t missed a dose (and in the case of several infant vaccines, have had more doses than the recommended schedule because of an insurance switch.) But given the press releases for the "initiative," I worried about how those of us who have real concerns about vaccines and associated environmental triggers would be treated.

Virtual Hugs to Elizabeth Edwards Who Still Rocks Our World

Elizabeth Edwards took the stage at the Personal Democracy Forum in New York today virtually - via Skype. As her flight was cancelled at the last minute, she was unable to make her in-person slot for us or "Good Morning America" so she did them both from home. As I watched the program - questions from PDF cofounder Andrew Rasiej directed to Elizabeth, who was projected on a huge screen in the theatre at Lincoln Center's Rose Hall - I wanted to go up and give her a big virtual hug from all of us at the MOMocrats and the Silicon Valley Moms Blog & sister sites, but since it was no easier to do from that venue than this one, I decided it was better done from here. (It was the request everyone made when I said I was "going to see Elizabeth Edwards at PDF". They said "give her a hug for me!")

So here, Elizabeth, is a big virtual [**HUG**] from all of us, along with an official invitation to blog here any time you like. One of the apropos questions Rasiej asked of Elizabeth during the program (sorry, I just can't use her last name in this forum - seems too formal) was about what she was going to do next with "her constituency" and she, of course, replied that she would like to liveblog more and cross post more about policy issues important to her. So since I couldn't just stand up and yell to her that she could blog for us any time since she would have caught every third word, we're asking here. Please, pretty please!

Going Green from a Sicko Healthcare System

I am green today.  Not green with envy, ecological awareness or holiday greetings. I am green with sickness, the nauseating disease that is now called our health care system.  Note the "care" in the compound word health care.  Note the hypocrisy of this word in the United States of Sick America.  How many are not cared for where we live?  Millions?  How many are denied care because they actually need it?  Millions more.  You've heard the speeches.  You know the political health care babble.  So let me cut to the sick thick of my family drama.

I was laid off from my job two months ago.  Our company then filed for bankruptcy, so Cobra was not an option.

Silicon Valley Moms Blog hosting a BONE MARROW DRIVE - April 19th ... Please help us spread the word!

This was originally posted on Silicon Valley Moms Blog on 3/19/08.  We are reposting and asking that you help us spread the word about the Marrow Drive! If you have linked to this post, can you please leave a comment below so we can "thank you" (and please provide a link to your post)!

I have become an expert on Leukemia.  Since my mom was diagnosed with AML in December 2007, I can rattle off all the different types of Leukemia; AML, CML, CLL, ALL ... I can chat about the different subtypes.  I can tell you about induction chemotherapy, consolidation chemotherapy and now bone marrow transplants. Do I get a prize for my three month crash course into this terrible disease?  Actually, I hope that my gift is a healthy mother who will be alive for many years to come.  I pray that she will sail through the next few months of consolidation chemotherapy, and a mini bone marrow transplant.  I pray that she will survive and begin her "new" life..... leukemic free.

These past few months we have been on an emotional roller coaster of chemotherapy and getting Mom into remission.  I must admit, I have felt helpless as we waited day to day to see if her body would show no signs of leukemic blasts in her peripheral blood and marrow.  I stood by helplessly, as another bone marrow biopsy was done.  I stood by the side, as they told us that leukemic cells were still in her marrow or peripheral blood. I stood by as we learned that my Uncle is NOT a bone marrow match. I stood by as they FINALLY said that it "looks like Mom is in remission". But here is the reality: My "being there" made no difference if the chemotherapy worked, or not. For me, this was the hardest... not being able to do anything to make the situation better. My being there did not mean a cure or remission. I just had to sit there, be positive.  Be supportive. 

So now that my mother is FINALLY "in remission" and the doctors believe that a bone marrow donor will be identified, I wanted to do something in Silicon Valley that can make a difference for other families going through the awful diagnosis of leukemia.  To be clear, this will not directly benefit my Mother, who has already been matched with a donor.  However, for many other patients, long term remission (or a cure) will depend on a bone marrow transplant.  So....the only "productive" thing I could think of was to hold a MARROW DRIVE, in honor (NOT MEMORY) of my mother, who will receive a transplant in May 2008.  With the help of many friends (a huge thank you to Enoch Choi), family members and PAMP, I am pleading with the Silicon Valley Community to become a marrow donor by participating in our drive.  Please come out and support our efforts... please allow the National Marrow Donor Program (NMDP) to take a swab of your saliva. (For those of you who are scared, this is NOT a blood test.  No needles are involved that day!) Please agree that if you are ever contacted by the National Marrow Donor Program (NMDP), you will agree to donate a piece of your marrow.  You can help give the gift of life....

• Date:  Saturday, April 19, 2008
• Location:  95 Crescent Drive, Palo Alto, CA  94301 (right near highway 101)
• Time:  9:00am to 3:30pm
• To be eligible to donate, you must be between the ages of 18 to 60.

When I was at Stanford Hospital visiting my mother, I met MANY leukemic patients who were desperately waiting to find a bone marrow match.  Most of these patients were of mixed or minority races, especially Asian, Hispanic, African American, Indian, Asia Pacific and American Indian ethnicities.  So to these groups, I am making an extra plea.... Please help us spread the word......

Respectfully, Jill Asher (Co-Founder of Silicon Valley Moms Blog)

Here is more information about the National Marrow Donor Program:

San Jose colleges have banned discriminatory blood drives

Three San Jose colleges have suspended on-campus blood drives as a stand against the federal ban on allowing gay males to donate blood. According to the SJSU President, the federal ban is in direct conflict with the university’s policy prohibiting discrimination. 

The ban on donation from gay men has been around since 1983, when AIDS first emerged in the United States.  Many campuses have protested the ban on donations from gay men, but this is the first time an administration has taken such a drastic action against it. Of course, students could go elsewhere to donate blood, but campus blood drives can be essential to a community's blood supply. According to some statistics I’ve heard, 16 to 20 percent of blood comes from college-aged donors.

It's important to consider, though, that all donated blood is screened for HIV anyway.  And that the new cases of HIV are on the rise in other groups as well.