Silicon Valley Moms Blog

Trying out a pet...and...maybe not

We don't have any pets. I am a cat lover, had cats all my life. But my husband is allergic. He had dogs all his life. His mother currently breeds King Charles Cavalier spaniels (she sold a dog to Sly!). I am not a dog person - although I do like the Cavaliers...they are sort of like cats. Sometimes when we visit Nana or a friend who has pets, we get pleading looks from the kids. Not to mention outright serious suggestions - "Let's get a dog/cat!" At one point, we were talking seriously about getting a dog. That was about 2 years, 9 months ago. Oh, right when we got pregnant with our almost-2-year-old. That idea was ditched. After all, I am going to be the one taking care of the dog - even if my husband says he will be doing it (the poop, taking it for walks, finding a dog sitter when we go away for the weekend, etc., etc., etc.) Having 3 kids in diapers, plus a dog, wasn't going to happen.

But! We have pets at the kids' preschool. And this weekend, we took Snowball the Bunny home for a visit. The kids adored having her.

It was a bit of an adjustment for me...

Considering a parent participation/co-op school

My 4-year-old twins will be entering pre-K next year. They have been in preschool for the past 2 years, but we have recently gone through a complete change of mind on preschool, one that is leading me to think we might to do the same for elementary school and beyond. After all, when my kids started preschool I had no idea what to look for, what was important to them and to my husband and I.

We started out at a drop-off preschool - it was a small location (a house), that is a part of a larger network of preschools and daycares. It was fine. Just....fine. Then I started talking with my neighbors about the school their elementary school-aged kids had attended, a parent participation preschool. I also talked to friends in my twins club whose kids were starting preschool at a nearby private academically-focused preschool. I debated all of last spring about which one to go with - seemingly on opposite sides of the spectrum. I finally decided to go with the parent participation school and could not be happier. It has been an amazing year and I can't believe I have learned so much. About my kids, about education, about myself. The kids have thrived. We have been able to do some many "extra" things that just wouldn't be possible with the ratios of just one teacher to many kids. 

I never thought I would go private for my kids' schooling. I didn't grow up in California, but went to public school my entire life and had great experiences. I don't want my kids to grow up feeling privileged or entitled. At the same time, I also don't want them to be brought down to the lowest common denominator. I want them to do truly amazing things and be exposed to unique opportunities. And now,

Can we leave technology at home during a couples-only weekend away?

My husband and I are headed to Tahoe this weekend BY OURSELVES! We haven't gone away for a weekend - or even a night - in almost 5 years now....well, I take that back. We did go away for a weekend 2 years ago to La Jolla when I was pregnant with my youngest child, because we knew that while my parents would be willing to care for their then 2-year-old twin grandchildren for a weekend, there was no way they would be up to 3 kids anytime soon. But I was pregnant on this "babymoon", so it almost doesn't count. No drinking wine, no big adventures, not even any sleeping in, as I was wide awake with insomnia and braxton-hicks contractions in the great hotel we stayed in.

The snow forecast is not great for this weekend, but who cares? We get to do whatever we want to! Hoo-ray. We are so in need of some time away. Now, we know we can leave our kids and they will be in great hands with the grandparents. The questions that looms

Divide and Conquer - the motto for our family of five

My husband and I have never had the experience of having two parents for one child, having started our family with twins. I remember when the twins, B and L (now 4-years-old), were about 19-months-old, we were on vacation in Tahoe with some friends. Our friends had a daughter the same age as the twins and had just had a new baby. We felt like we had finally made it over the hump of twin babyhood. That weekend, the twins slept in until 8am! After swimming at the Northstar rec center, where we were staying, B and L sat on a picnic blanket - by themselves! - and ate PB&J sandwiches - by themsleves! - while J and I just looked on. Wow. About a month later, we found out we were pregnant with #3. Surprise....

It was a happy surprise, one that I had always wished to have. The surprise of finding out you're pregnant when you least expect it. Personally, I never dreamed about what my wedding would be like as a young girl, but I did think about

Parent Education IS The Big Picture

When I first signed up my four-year-old twins for co-op preschool at Explorer Parent Participation Preschool near Willow Glen in San Jose, I was a bit daunted by all of the parent requirements - would I be able to keep up with the required classroom time, maintenance days, fundraising, scrip purchases, and committee work? One thing that I never viewed as a burdensome requirement, but instead a great benefit, is the mandatory attendance of twice-monthly parent education classes ("PECs") put on by the school - once a month in the evening and once a month during the daytime while my kids are in their preschool class. Since being involved with my twins club, I had started to see what benefits regular parent education - in the form of professional speakers, materials and focused discussion - can bring. Information, preparation, tools, new ideas, a feeling of working together...and that you're not alone in your parenting struggles. Now I get this benefit at my kids' preschool from the very competent teachers as

An office away from home for a WAHM?

I have worked out of my house for the past 4 years, since having my twins. It wasn't truly a plan, it just sort of ended up that way. I had quit my job at ARM as Corporate Counsel to spend a year or so with my twins, who I thought would be my only children (turns out I was incorrect and that we did not in fact need those fertility drugs, as we now have child #3 - surprise!). I thought I might start my own law firm at some point, but clients started coming to me more quickly than I imagined. So I said, sure, why not? I can work at home while my babies nap, after they go to bed....while I'm at my favorite fenced park (hello Treo/Crackberry/iPhone), making dinner, giving the kids baths, etc. etc. etc.

The division between work to home is not always clear. Ok, it is not clear at all. I have my laptop in the kitchen/great room where our family basically "lives" 24 x 7 (we have a tiny house). I also have an office in my bedroom - one of those fold-up desks and a large file cabinet. My home office went away when we filled up our 3 bedroom house with 3 kids. I REALLY enjoy the flexibility of my work. Yes, I want to have it ALL! I can take off for a week on vacation and it is usually just fine. I am able to enjoy a commute-free existence. I can wear my park mom clothes to work in, unless I am meeting with a client. Not to mention being free from paying a fixed cost for office space each month. However... lately, I have been doing more start-up company business formation work and I am really feeling the need to have a place where I can regularly meet with clients, have conference calls (uninterrupted by wails of disaster in the background), and just be really productive. I can meet clients at my house, but then I have to get my kids out of the house for a while (not easy with 3 kids 4 years and under) and - gasp! - clean the house! Too much trouble.

I heard about a new model of combining childcare and office space recently

Lessons Learned in Boot Camp

Four short weeks ago (although it seems so very long ago in some ways....), I started adventure boot camp. 5:30am, 5 days a week. I'm pretty darn proud of myself because I have only missed one day out of the 20 days and that was because we had my sister-in-law and brother-in-law in town (and were up late partying with them in the hot tub! A totally valid excuse, IMHO). A short list of life boot camp lessons from our trainer, Brett, follows:

1. Brett's Rule Number One: DON'T FALL DOWN. Yes, this seems simple, but it is not as easy as it sounds sometimes. We all make mistakes sometimes - just try not to embarass injure yourself.

2. Laughter Strengthens the Abdominals - Brett certainly makes up chuckle quite a bit in boot camp. It is a very fun workout, while also being very tough. This makes the workouts go by fast (thank God!)....I really don't know what I would do if our trainer was boring. He takes the boot camp thing pretty seriously and it cracks me up - dressing in

Week One, Day Three of Boot Camp

As one of my non-New Years resolutions, I signed up for adventure boot camp. It is 6:45am and I just arrived home.  A friend has been doing this for months and I finally got crazy interested enough to join her. There were always excuses. Mine were, in no particular order - my kids still get up early and need me (but, really, not anymore), I can't afford it because I already pay for a gym (admission: I haven't been there since I was 6 months pregnant with my 20-month -old...), my only free time is in the evenings and if I got up soooo early I would have to go to bed soooo early and then I would never get to relax (relax? you mean, watch mindless TV and eat cookies?). This particular boot camp is from 5:30am - 6:30am. It is located 5 minutes from my house. I decided to throw out the excuses and get a move on, literally. Frankly, I need some time and effort spent for myself and the accountability and permission to do so.

I AM SO SORE!!!! My whole body is screaming for Tylenol, Advil, Motrin, Vicadin, Percoset. I am hobbling around. Add to this I have a horrible chest cold. Oh, and my 4-year-old daughter has decided

The Non New Years Resolution

Inevitably, the day after Christmas brings me to start thinking about my New Years Resolutions: all those many things that I want to improve about myself and my life and the lives of those around me. But...this year, as my husband and I took a walk with our three young kids, we discussed all the pressure people tend to put on themselves each year as the chance for a clean slate arrives. Ah, the chance to be perfect! It is really too much.

My husband's suggestion is simple: To make NO resolutions and just be happy with my life the way it is! Tough to do, but really great advice, I suppose. In the meantime, my "secret" resolutions are:

- do meal planning - I am a terrible cook and HATE thinking about what to make for dinner, but this task falls to me due to the timing in our family's household, so the only solution is to plan and plan and plan. So I am going to try to do that.
- to exercise - I just signed up for boot camp! 5 days a week, 5:30am, hard core workouts. It is going to be great....really...
- have more sex - and I'm pretty sure my husband will agree with this one :)

O Christmas Party

Our almost 4-year-old twins have been going through a rough period the past month or so. They don't nap anymore at home, but they do take a nap at preschool three days out of the week. This has worked fine...until several weeks ago when a new and painful pattern emerged. On Monday, Wednesday and Friday when they take naps at school, we do our 8-8:30pm nighttime routine like normal (and we are pretty routined with our twins, pretty much have to be when you have twins, in my opinion!) and they don't go to sleep until anywhere between 9:30 and 11:00pm. Maddening! Their preschool does not have a separate room for kids that don't nap, even though there are several of them. So we are kind of stuck in this downward spiral. Their nights keep getting later on those 3 nights a week, the mornings get later, then the other days of the week they end up exhausted because they can't seem to catch up.

Add to this, all the Christmas partying where - like this weekend - we stayed up late Friday, Saturday and Sunday. Makes for some pretty tired kids. Good thing we've got sugar and the promise of new toys coming their way for Christmas to keep 'em going! We've had some good parties this year though - my favorite ones are where everyone ends up talking in the kitchen with their shoes off. What's your favorite kind of holiday party?