Silicon Valley Moms Blog

My world vs. my sanity

A while back a fellow blogger wrote a post about being responsible with our earth.  I read it and thought - duh.   It’s so easy to forget about the little things that we do to make our lives a tad easier… but which makes our earth a bit worse off.   Since then I have been trying to be a little more conscious.   I have tried using less paper towels and more kitchen rags.  I have been trying to vacuum instead of Swiffering.  I have looked at those Windex wipes that I have in the closet… and instead used hot water to cut the grease on my stove.   

However, I have to admit, I am not GREEN.   I may have talked about getting a Prius with my husband, but the money & logistics didn’t add up.   We replaced all the light-bulbs in our house with energy efficient ones, but we still put up a million Christmas lights on our tree.

And today, I realized… there is one very easy thing that I could do, but I choose not to.  I could run my laundry at night.   However, I don’t.  And I don’t on purpose. 

Pregnant ladies need massages too!

This is my third go-round at being pregnant, and I have only found ONE spa (Preston Wynne in Saratoga) that gives a decent pregnancy massage.  ONE!   The Silicon Valley is bursting at the seams with pregnant women.  And there are more spas here than I can count.   However, most don't offer prenatal massages.  And those that do, seem to do it as an after thought.

Anyone want to make some money?  This is an investment that will absolutely pay off.   Every mom-to-be that I know wants to feel pampered, comfortable and not pregnant for at least one hour of their long 9 month journey.  And they will pay GOOD money for that experience.  Why not give us what we want?

Schedule vs. Fit

Back in January I wrote a post about how I felt searching for a preschool was absurd.  Since then there has been a lot of discussion along the same line.  Now today we have a whole day dedicated to education.  Clearly it's a hot topic. But for those of us who are just putting their toes in the educational waters, it's somewhat of a mystery. I have not yet entered the kindergarten madness.   However, we did just buy a house in a new school district so that the kids could go to a great set of public schools K-12 if that ends up being our choice. And college is so far off, that it's not even a blip on the radar, other than the fact that we set up some 529 Education Savings plans for the boys.

So here we are wading through preschool land, and sometimes I feel like it might be more difficult to navigate than grammar school, middle school, and high school.  As a parent you are still so inexperienced to the schooling process, let alone being a parent. There are so many choices and your child is so young, it's hard to decide what is right for their age, personality, and schedule.  What happens when you picked the perfect preschool for your first child, based solely on his personality and schedule.... however, when you get to your second child, and the preschool doesn't seem to fit him in the same way?  Do you chose schedule over fit?  or fit over schedule?

Stanford Hospital just made my top 5

Many times you can find me complaining with girlfriends about all the things we dislike about Silicon Valley:  the pace, the cost, the materialism, the pressure on children, the pressure on parents, housing, etc.     I stay because my family is here.  Since my first child was born, that is what I had been telling myself.

Recently Silicon Valley Mom's blog had a Topic Day that involved Coping with Illness.  I drafted a post explaining how I felt too young to be taking care of my parents & grandparents (I was 29 at the time my father faced a life changing illness).  My post explained how I didn't feel ready financially, emotionally or intellectually.   When I was about to submit it,  my husband read it and brought up an entirely different perspective.   He said, that he felt lucky to be living in Silicon Valley when this responsibility fell upon our shoulders.  He believes that had we not been living here, we would not have been lucky enough to have secured a salary & savings that would have even given us the option to help our family members.  This perspective made me think about Silicon Valley (SV) a bit differently.  Since then I scrapped my original post and started making mental notes of the things that this Valley provides that cannot be found elsewhere.

Recently, Stanford Hospital not only made my list... but it ended up within the top 5.      

Punished by Praise?

In the most recent newsletter published by the Parent's Club of Palo Alto & Menlo Park there was an article entitled, 'The Sweetest Game in Town: Contributing Without Praise.'   This article addressed a popular parenting topic: too much praise can have a detrimental affect on your child's motivational system, their academic performance, and their self-perception.   While I have heard this concept time and time again from preschool teachers, children's development speakers, books, and friends... I have had a hard time reconciling this concept with my parenting style.

It's not that I don't believe that too much praise from others can undermine a child's motivation to do something solely for the purpose of self-accomplishment and self-reward. I do.  I actually do believe that if you praise your child for every little thing that they do, that when they accomplish something bigger and more worthy of praise ... it won't mean as much.  However, the article seemed to imply that while a spontaneous 'Good Job' is fine, in most cases we should find other ways to express our gratitude and appreciation.  While this might sound good in theory, I continue to struggle with the concept that no (or very little) praise is a good thing.

Hassle Free Absentee

I am officially an absentee voter.   With this privilege comes responsibility:  you must mail your ballot in by the date stated.   It seems easy enough.  However, the last time I tried this, the result was the picture that you see in front of you.  The stickers on our sweaters proved that we voted; but it also demonstrates that I missed my postman on the last day to mail in my ballot.  This inevitably led me to walk to my local polling station where my son proceed to tell me how he really felt about the candidates... he threw up all over me and himself.

This year, with two rambunctious preschool boys in tow, I figured it was time to get this absentee thing right.  I promised myself and my kids that we would not have to feel so disgusted with ourselves this time around (literally & figuratively).

Calling for back-up

When your kids are sick, you do everything you can to get them well.  You skip school, cancel play-dates, bundle them up, prepare soup, and hunker down at home.   When you are sick, most of those things don’t apply.    You can’t skip ‘school’ because you still have to take care of your kids.  You can’t lie in bed all day, while your 4 year old brings you soup.  And your husband can’t come home because he’s the only one bringing home the bacon… and this particular bacon requires a presentation at a major company meeting that day. So what do you do?   

The invisible line

Recently I was out with girlfriends talking about the stuff that moms and girlfriends talk about… everything.   Over the course of dinner and lots of wine, one friend said something to this effect:

Women can take a lot.  They can forgive over and over again.  They can excuse a lot of egregious behavior.  They can bury feelings and accept repeated transgressions for years.  However, there comes a point, when it’s one time too much.   And at that point, the woman can no longer forgive, negotiate, or accept.  The invisible line has been crossed, and there is no going back.  Things will never be the same.

I listened, and for me… this rang true.   

Preschool Absurdity

It’s that time of year again: the preschool registration deadlines. Most of these kids are 3 and 4, they have a whole lifetime of school ahead of them.   So why do I feel like choosing a preschool is a life changing decision that could affect the rest of my kids’ education?   Well, probably because there seems to be a good dose of mass hysteria in the air among parents of incoming preschoolers.

Years ago preschools were a non issue.   Many of us never went ourselves, and we turned out fine.  Many of our parents think we are crazy for making such a big deal about preschool.  At some level,  I think they may be right.  Yet that doesn’t seem to stop us from visiting 10+ schools, paying to put our names on wait-lists for schools that we won't get into, standing in line over night trying to get into the most popular school, and evaluating curriculum to see if Johnny will be ready for Kindergarten.

With so much pressure to succeed in Silicon Valley, how do we keep it out of our preschools?

Batten Down the Hatches! California Storm on the way

Storm is coming!  Storm is coming! Storm is COMING!

If you haven't heard, there are three storms coming to the Bay Area starting today and continuing until about Monday.  Apparently 'soaking' rain starts this afternoon with a high wind warning.  Winds can get to over 40 MPH! Friday and Saturday are expected to be worse, with torrential rains and winds over 50 MPH.

The following warnings have been issued: power lines are expected to be down, trees are probably going to fall, all roads and traffic will be affected, flooding will occur in some areas, and if you have things outside... you had better pick them up.

So be sure to throw all those backyard toys into the garage.  Take down the