Silicon Valley Moms Blog

Like Moths to Fame?

What do you get when dozens of moms who have recovered their kids from autism are at a dinner with celebrities . . .  in the midst of an historic battle over light brown apple moth (LBAM) aerial spraying?  ACTIVISTS! I and these moms attended a comedy show and auction on Friday night to benefit San Francisco autism organizations, such as The Ryder Foundation. We worked the celebs in the room as best we could.

These moms are not crazy "fringe" moms. Among the eight in our group that night, were five who founded non-profit organizations. These are intelligent moms whose research led them to believe autism is indeed treatable. They have the recovered kids to prove it. They know not to let the California Department of Agriculture pull the proverbial wool over their eyes without an independent environmental impact report on CheckMate, the LBAM spray.

These moms have experience going against the grain. Parents who choose biomedical treatments are constantly on guard from those who don't know the strict program, which can include a wheat and dairy free diet and sometimes heavy metal chelation. According to the Autism Research Institute treatment ratings, two-thirds of parents who have tried biomedical interventions say it helped their child.

California has a New Czar!

I'm so proud of Arnie. Our Governator recently created a new cabinet position in California - a secretary of service and volunteering that some are calling the "Czar of Volunteerism." Unlike other new cabinet positions, this one is not predicted to cost taxpayers more money. That is, if eager citizen volunteers can stretch budgets enough to offset the cost of the cabinet position.

Prompted by the huge volunteer turnout for the San Diego fires and for wildlife cleanup after the Cosco oil spill in the San Francisco Bay, it became clear that Californians are willing to help in crises. The problem was that it was too hard to coordinate such a huge surge in volunteers.

The new Czar -- the first such position in the country -- was plucked from her executive director position at California Volunteers. Especially great for busy moms and dads, the organization runs a database of ongoing volunteer needs. It lists things we can do today or tomorrow if we have a bit of extra time. I just did a search on "Animals and Environment" in my zip code and learned that -- crisis or no crisis -- there is something to fit everyone, no matter how much time you have -- or don't have.  I saw one-off opportunities like the Acterra-sponsored Arastradero Preserve Restoration Workday. To my surprise, there were on-going ways to get involved, as well, such as

"Go Play Outside!": 2008 versus the 1970s

Something magical happened in our neighborhood recently. Families gathered to play outside together, you know, in the neighborhood without calling each other or scheduling or emailing or texting. Really!  It was so fun to do with our 6 year old twins. It also made me fondly remember my childhood neighborhood pals ...and all our crazy 1970s antics. 

Below is the recipe that made spontaneous neighborhood play work for us in 2008, with some notes comparing it to my oh-so-idyllic childhood. The biggest difference is that parents were supervising the play last weekend, but maybe that's good considering the unsupervised play of my childhood. (Read on...)

Ingredients for Neighborhood Play - 2008 Style

1. Space to Play - Our street was empty of parked cars and cut-through traffic on President's Day. This made a great skateboarding rink and it was visible to any neighbors who wanted to join in. When I was a suburban kid, we had bigger front yards and large asphalt driveways making street play unnecessary. We even played in yards that didn't belong to anyone, but that was usually when we were hiding from angry drivers.
2. Parents to Shout, "Car!" to occasionally clear the kids from the street.  In the 1970s, I'll confess that hearing someone shout "Car!" had a totally different meaning and it was the reason we frequently had to hide. First of all, it was always another kid yelling, "Car!" It meant to: (1) throw a ball at it; (2) throw a snowball at it; or (3) skitch, otherwise known as: run out of your hiding place and grab the back bumper of a car stopped at a stop sign, then enjoy the ride by letting your feet glide on the snowy street.

Police Guns or Me with Screwdrivers?

SV Moms Blogger Jill recently posted about the spate of burglaries in Palo Alto and SV Mom Blogger Beth posted these safety tips. I had a recent experience with the Palo Alto police, and wanted to report that they are VERY responsive, so call them immediately if you are even a bit suspicious about an unlocked door or window at your house. 

A couple weeks ago, I came home to a front door that was left open, wide open. It was merely ajar after my husband left but I didn't notice. I'm normally hyper-keen to this issue of him forgetting to close the door, so much that when I've left town, I've considered paying the teenager neighbor to check our doors at 10pm each night. The safety of my husband and kids seemed to be worth $5/night.

The day I found our door open, I had been gone for three hours doing my "boogers and glue" volunteer stint in the kids' Kindergarten classroom. I panicked. I knew the wind had opened it fully while I was gone. I envisioned our door acting coy and solicitous like a prostitute in a Western movie drawling, "Yoo Hoo Big Fella! Come shop early for Christmas 2008, Honey. Big screen TVs here!!" or "Easy woman here! No break-in necessary, ya'll!" Then, my mind flashed back to a horrible break-in story. A college friend came home one evening to find a crazy, drugged man

Beef Recall, Hot Lunch, and Dog Food

Attention Silicon Valley and beyond....On Sunday, the USDA recalled 143 million pounds of beef from Chino-based Hallmark/Westland meatpacking company.  DC Metro Mom blogger Joanne posted about the recall here a few days ago.  Over the past two years, thirty-seven million pounds of meat from so-called downer cows were shipped to school lunch programs. Schools are busy pulling meat from freezers, but our kids already ate most of it, according to the the Department of Agriculture's food safety official. Thankfully, the meat is not known to be tainted with e. coli or another pathogen. It's "just" from sick cows, so Hallmark/Westland thought they could get away with it.

I'm curious why it took this video from the Humane Society for the USDA to wake up.  These issues with putting downer cows in our food supply are not new and are quite widely known.  According to Michael Pollan's book, The Omnivore's Dilemma, a third of slaughtered cows have liver abscesses that would kill them within months anyway.  These aren't even the downer cows, who presumably have worse issues.

This all leads up to a conversation I had a few months ago, when I got a question from a mom of a kinder at our school:

"Your son told my son that 'hot lunch' served at school was the same as dog food. Is that true?" Time for that video:

Maybe I was too honest with my kids...

Mom Suffocates Daughter because she "Hated Autism"

I can't get this story out of my mind. A couple weeks ago I read that a mother in Illinois suffocated her 3 year old daughter, Katie, with a trash bag. Katie had autism. The most haunting part for me is that in Karen McCarron's taped confession she stated she could see her daughter's face through the plastic bag.  What mom could even think of doing something like this, let alone watch her struggling daughter's face while she does it?

She killed her daughter at her mother's house, then drove home and carried the lifeless body to the child's bed, pretending to put her to sleep. Later she feigned panic, saying to relatives in her house that she couldn't wake her daughter.

Needless to say, at trial the mother pleaded insanity at the time of the murder.  I guess so.  The judge wasn't buying it, however. She was recently found guilty, convicted of murder, and is sentenced to 100 years in prison. Not surprisingly, she is currently on a suicide watch.

I'm struck by her "reasoning" for wanting to kill her daughter. As quoted

The Right Outfit at the Wrong Time

I've always said any outfit is appropriate, it just depends on where you are when you wear it. For example, I wore a nightie and yoga shorts to a pole dancing class last year, but I wore a conservative tweed skirt and black sweater with an attached bow (almost prissy!) to my grandfather's funeral. Last Tuesday, forevermore to be remembered as Forgotten Child Day, I had slipped into an outfit to attend the Gorgeous and Green fashion show in San Francisco with fellow SV Mom Blogger Sarah G. who was covering the story for her blog, SF Bay Style.

I'm certain that when Forgotten Child's Mom rang my doorbell at 5pm and found me in a somewhat sexy backless black outfit and too much mascara for a playdate mom, that I got the Bimbo of the Day award in her world. I'm sure her first thought was "what is she DOING dressed like this while hosting a playdate??" If I'd danced Victoria Jackson's "I am not a Bimbo" song (1990s Saturday Night Live) in my entry , it might have actually helped the situation. My first thought was, "OH...MY....GOD... I forgot to calendar the playdate and left the boys at Kids Club." 

Dear Shutterfly: will we still be friends in the New Year?

Dear Shutterfly,

Thanks for the $400 credit to my Shutterfly account. Your customer service rep was very nice to me. However, I'm still more than a bit miffed that after I submitted my finished holiday card to you, the message text on the inside front cover reverted to my first draft.  Thank goodness I didn't write anything snarky or incriminating, or I would have a bigger issue with you.

I thought the worst part of the card would be our family photo.  While my 5 year old daughter, Kitty Cat, gave a half-smile and looked decent, her twin brother Guy-Guy refused to smile.  Actually, he refused to make a normal face. He looks like he's having an eye-rolling seizure in the photo. That was pretty bad, but his outfit was even worse - a camouflage shirt and pant get-up, otherwise known as "army-army" in our house.  This is one battle with my husband I should have picked, but didn't when he insisted that army-army on Guy-Guy was just fine for Thanksgiving dinner with his parents.  Maybe so, but it wasn't fine with me for our annual chance at a four-person family photo.  Why is it so hard to get four people in a photo? 

So, Shutterfly, how could our card have been worse?  Well, you know why.

Our Family's 2007 Naughty or Nice? List

Here is our Family's 2007 Naughty or Nice? List that was supposed to be published by Shutterfly in our holiday card, but they screwed up.  Here is life with twin five-year olds summed up in fewer than 1500 characters. I'd love to hear what you had on your hands this year, too!

Our Family's 2007 Naughty or Nice? List:

Dog Envy: If you like someone's dog, ask the owner when she is going to die.  If there are other family members, inquire about their estimated dates of death.  Offer to take care of the dog.

Delaying Tactics: If you don't like karate, tie on your yellow belt, then tie the long ends around a banister with, like, 5 knots.  Guaranteed to tick off your mom and make you 10 minutes late for class.

Boyfriend Criterion per Kitty Cat (5): "Bigger teeth than me."

Goodbye Little Red Antarctic Ship

I was so sad to get an email from my husband yesterday linking to a story about The Explorer, the little red ship that allows tourists to trace Sir Ernest Shackelton's voyage to the Antarctic Peninsula.  In the email, he wrote, "Was this us?"  After clicking on the link, I saw the photo of the ship listing mercilessly into the icy water and knew it was indeed the ship we had taken on our honeymoon trip to Antarctica in January 2000. The ship where living in confined quarters for two weeks with my new husband sealed the deal for us - we got along swimmingly and knew our marriage would last.

The New York Times reported the story today. The ice had punched a fist-sized hole into the ship's hull causing the perfectly maintained engine room to flood. The controls froze and stopped working.  All passengers were evacuated onto the rubber dingies and rescued by another ship that happened to be nearby.

I'm inexplicably sad about our little red ship. She was forty years old, but that lent her a certain charm.  Most of the passengers were proud not to be career cruisers.  To prove it, they were easily insulted if you asked them if they had been on a lot of cruises exclaiming,