Silicon Valley Moms Blog

Suicides, Surprise And Sadness in Palo Alto

At a time which would normally be filled with Graduation excitement, many local parents and teens in the Palo Alto/Bay Area are feeling a deep sense of sadness and surprise that teens are taking their lives by suicide. On Thursday a boy tried to commit suicide at the SAME train tracks two teens recently killed themselves. All three students went to Gunn Highschool.

I went to Palo Alto Highschool and my brother to Gunn in the 1980's. I called my brother today to ask him if he remembered any suicides at Gunn, he said there was one suicide that he knew of.  I could not remember any suicides when I went to Palo Alto Highschool. We both felt so sad that this was happening in our childhood schools, but we could not figure out why a teenager would commit suicide. We know that depression can be overwhelming and teens are compulsive. But why suicide?

The Palo Alto Medical Foundation had this explanation:

Multiple Moms Madness: Kate Plus 8 Versus Octomom

I have watched the TLC reality show Jon & Kate Plus 8 (a family consisting of older twins and younger sextuplets) for the last year or so. As a mom of twins and an older sibling, I related to their challenges. I appreciated that Jon & Kate Gosselin showed the not so perfect side of parenting by losing their cool now and then. I reveled when they would discuss that with multiples there is always someone unhappy at any given moment, which describes my daily struggles. I stood up for Kate Gosselin when many said she was too controlling because the kids all looked well fed, dressed and overall happy. I saw the way Kate took care of the sextuplets when they were babies and thought that her nursing skills  were very helpful in treating the kids ailments. I aspired to be as organized as Kate was in planning out her days. The fact that Jon & Kate Gosselin invited cameras into their daily lives seemed to be the price they paid to earn enough money to stay home with their kids while upgrading their house to make room for their big family.

However, from the beginning, I dismissed the Octomom Nadya Suleman  (who now has 14 kids, the last octuplets) as a publicity hungry, Angelina Jolie wannabe, narcissistic person who had kids as props to further her fantasy of becoming famous. At the hospital after delivering her babies, Nadya Suleman had perfect makeup, long fake nails with a FRENCH MANICURE and an insincere way with the babies. Any multiple mom knows that you need to cut your nails short when taking care of infants. I felt nothing but pity for her kids.

But Nadya Suleman really lost points in my eyes when she "dubbed Kate Gosselin 'a cheater' for relying on plastic surgery to get her bod back in bikini shape". As many multiple mom I know believe, tummy tucks should be a standard medical expense after having multiples.

I can't wait to see the natural methods that Nadya Suleman uses to get in shape.

I even made a joke while lying on the operation table, loopy from anesthesia during my C-Section delivering twins. I said, "Hey doc, can ya do a tummy tuck while you are in there?" My doctor did not think it was funny.

But lately with all the new scandals I feel as though I lost some close (reality TV) friends.

ROE: The Business Case For NOT Having A Tidy House

As I write this blog post after the kids are in bed, there are dishes to be emptied out from the dishwasher, loads of laundry to do and baskets of clean laundry to fold. There are pillows from the sofa in the living room on the floor after they were used for my three boys to build forts. There are toys to be picked up and vacuuming to be done. Instead, I am sitting in bed writing this blog post. Why? Because it all comes down to a term I made up to help me quantify my priorities as a mom: "ROE" (Return on Energy).

As any mom knows, being a parent is a life changing experience when it comes to priorities. Every day from morning until night my kids health and happiness are the top priority. But when it comes to having a perfectly clean house - I have developed a different measurement system. Daily household chores include bleaching every bathroom down (anyone with boys understands that), endless laundry, feeding kids and cleaning the kitchen. After that, the priorities need to measured against ROE. Do I fold clean clothes in the basket or write a blog post that is helping me developing my career 2.0? Do I vacuum and Swiffer the floor today or spend time learning about using my new DSLR to take pictures during my upcoming blogger event? Where should I put my limited energy after taking care of the kids?

The time spent learning about ROI in college has paid off by providing me with a framework to prioritize my time as a work at home mom. I have separated out what chores must be done each day versus the chores that can wait. This has given me more time to work at home, which includes participating in social media (like blogging) that is important for my career 2.0.

My ROE process was kept in the closet until I attended an inspirational talk this week by Joanna Strober, co-author of Getting to 50/50: How Working Couples Can Have It All by Sharing It All. She shared something at that talk gave me the strength to come "out of the clean closet":

Yes TechCrunch, Oprah And "Social Media Savvy Moms" Will Take Over Twitter

While reading my RSS Feeds today, I saw a blog post title coming from my TechCrunch feed - "Oprah’s First Tweet Will Be Tomorrow On Her Show. Soccer Moms To Take Over The Service?".

I am not surprised Oprah joined Twitter, Facebook or that she will do her first tweet from The Oprah Winfrey Show  on April 17. Or that she will have Ashton Kutcher (@aplusk) on the show to talk about his Tweetrace to get 1 million Twitter followers and his pledge to fight Malaria in Africa. What I was surprised to see is the word Soccer Mom in the title of the TechCrunch post. I feel there are a few things wrong with the use of the word "Soccer Mom":

• Oprah has a huge following, made up of a wide range of people. Assuming that covering Twitter on The Oprah Winfrey Show will cause a mass movement of moms is missing out on the other aspects of her audience.

Bad Craft Karma, And I Have The Bloody Finger To Prove It

As I saw the glass fly from my hands - crashing on the floor of my minivan - I knew that once again my bad craft karma was haunting me. I can develop complex computer programs, speak at conferences, even clean myself up for important events - but doing craft projects at my kid's elementary school makes me loose sleep at night. The unknown of managing over 20 kids through a craft project is overwhelming.

This particular project was district wide and very well-organized. All I had to do was have the kids draw a picture and put it into some frames for the parents to keep. All the supplies were purchased and delivered. Instructions were clearly explained in a document that I had printed out to bring with me. I took a deep breath the morning before the project and told myself that this one would be different, it would go smoothly. But as it turned out, that was not so....

Silicon Valley Moms Group Partial Feeds - The "True Story"

Once upon a time when we started Silicon Valley Moms Group, we wanted to allow readers the options of viewing posts on our blog, through their readers (such as Bloglines, My Yahoo or Google Reader) or sent to their email inboxes. To allow this, we created web feeds of our "full" posts with nice little buttons to show the subscription choices. 

Unfortunately, many big bad wolves (sploggers) took our subscription feeds and set up their own blogs with our content (without permission). When we tried to talk to the big-bad-wolf-sploggers, they said they were just subscribing to our feeds (a lie, just like the big bad wolf in Little Red Riding Hood). But we were getting exhausted chasing after so many big-bad-wolf-sploggers.

In response to this, we had to change our nice "full" feeds to "partial" feeds, so if they wanted to load the feeds to their own blogs, just part of our posts would be shown. This action chased away the big-bad-wolf-sploggers but also inconvenienced our readers (which made us sad). Now readers can only read the titles of our blog posts in their feeds, but can easily click over to read the full posts at our blogs.  We hope that our readers will understand why we had to change to partial feeds - who wants wolves hanging around anyway?

And yes, we understand that this has upset many of our viewers.  We kindly try and respond to each and every one of you that we have offended or upset, and explain why (oh why) we moved to the partial feed.  And we REALLY understand your frustration.... really, we do! We promise that if you help us get rid of all the ugly, evil sploggers out there, we will (ahem) go back to full feeds... but until then.....

This is an original Silicon Valley Moms Blog post. When not chasing after big-bad-wolf-sploggers, Beth Blecherman is the Co-Founder of the Silicon Valley Moms Group. Her personal blog (TechMamas.com) discusses parenting and technology.

PS.  Follow SV Moms Group feeds on Twitter! 

Can Google Earth And Crapstone England Be Used As A Geography Lesson?

A constant battle in my house of three boys is potty talk. They know they are not supposed to say it, but just one word can make them all laugh. Bathtime seems to be the hardest to fight potty talk. When I carpool with my sons and their boy buddies, potty talk comes up whether I like it or not. If the discussion goes downhill too far, I do cut it off. But when their friends tell stories about super diaper baby pooping in his pants, serious amounts of laughter erupts. Many times I wonder what a carpool full of girls would talk about.

Today I happened to catch a Twitter about a New York Times article called No Snickering: That Road Sign Means Something Else about a place called "Crapstone" England. At first I thought it was another viral joke being passed around. But then I realized that I could use this as a geography lesson for my sons.

Inauguration Day - Time For Community & Mom Service

Last night, my husband was away on a business trip and I had three boys to get bathed and to sleep. But things did not go as planned. My sons decided that playing tag around the house was a better option then going into the bath. I looked around the house and realized that the playroom and all the baskets of clean clothes I had put in my boys' bedrooms looked like a tornado had hit. I was tired and just wanted to get to bed. I forgot that the next morning was the day I had been waiting for, Obama would be sworn in as the next President of the United States.

Then I heard a knock on the door. As the boys were screaming around the house I answered the door. It was one of our dear neighbors delivering an Obama-Inauguration-cupcake. My boys saw the cupcakes, all said thank-you and asked to have the cupcakes for a snack at school on Inauguration Day.  Then a miracle happened..

It's A Recession, My Days as a SAHM are Numbered

When Patti Lee from KTVU Channel 2 contacted the Silicon Valley Moms Blog to provide feedback about a story she was doing on stay-at-home moms producing income in a tough economy, I sent an email out to our bloggers.  I did not consider myself in that category until she called me the next day to ask my opinion. Then I realized, that I was not only in that category - but I was also in denial. My family has been very supportive since I jumped off partner track 6 years ago from a company I really enjoyed working at (Deloitte) to raise three boys, but my time is up and I need to get a job again. I started collaboratively and personally blogging, Facebooking, Twittering, setting up a LinkedIn profile, speaking at conferences and freelance writing. All of this participation in online networking helped me re-invent/update my career skills, make business contacts and get my voice heard online. I also tried to keep up to date by reading posts with tips on how to use Twitter, LinkedIn, Facebook and upcoming social networking trends.

But now that I "re-invented" my career, I realized I don't know exactly where to take it. Do I try to make money blogging? Do I go back to grueling hours of project management? Do I consult with companies looking to implement social media strategies? How do I fit all of that into the little extra time I have each day (and my "second" shift after the kids go to sleep)? At some point in the near (really near) future, I need to officially go "back to work" to bring some income to my family.

I am not alone... This last economic downturn seemed to hit the hardest, and many SAHMs (especially in Silicon Valley where the cost of living is so high) seem to be having similar conversations. When I talked to KTVU Reporter Patti Lee to provide my feedback, I discussed how I and other moms are using blogging and online networking to "re-invent" our careers.  Click on the link below to see the VIDEO INTERVIEW:

Re-Gifting Redux

After years of stress, this year I finally figured out a "re-gifting" strategy. The New York Times may have published an article on "The Ins and Outs of Re-Gifting" and asked for readers worst re-gifting stories but I have already solved mine.

After weeks of hyper-ventilating over how many Teacher gifts I needed to buy, I finally just decided to go to Safeway and buy gift cards. No re-gifting needed on the Teacher's part. We don't celebrate Christmas (we celebrate Chanukah) but all of our neighbors do - so we go to Home Depot and buy over a dozen Poinsettias, but them in a wagon and do a pre-Christmas delivery. Many of our neighbors were nice enough to deliver useful Chanukah gifts back to us like flashlights and books for my boys. All of our various babysitters get a weeks worth of salary as a holiday gift (cash is good). While the New York Times mentioned champagne is the new fruitcake, it seems with my friends that entertaining is the new holiday gift.  We told family members to hold off on gifts this year, instead saving that money toward vacation time together in the future. For our kids we decided to buy one big practical gift (a family PC) instead of lots of little ones.  Because of the economic climate, work gifts seem to be a thing of the past. 

The gifting strategy this year was going well, until we received a big, beautiful fruit basket.