Silicon Valley Moms Blog

Marriage and the Vortex of Doom

Our family took a short cruise up the Sea of Cortez in Mexico in January, just before school resumed.  It was a wonderful nature cruise that offered up-close glimpses of wildlife, hiking, snorkeling, and sea kayaking. 

I'm not a person who enjoys water.  I can tread water, but going out in deep water causes me to panic, due to some early childhood trauma involving my dad throwing me in a lake in an attempt to teach me using the old "sink or swim method."  I sank.  Like a rock wearing a toolbelt.  I don't like inhaling saltwater, so snorkeling has never held much appeal to me either.

My husband and son, on the other hand, are like a couple of friendly, inquisitive sea mammals and would rather snorkel than walk on land any day.  I was feeling a little left behind sitting on the beach with my People magazine, and so when the opportunity to kayak came along, I decided to "feel the fear and do it anyway."  I trusted that my husband would save me if we tipped over, and felt pretty sure that I wouldn't drown with the industrial-strength inflatable life vest I had strapped on my chest.

Peace Vigil: Better to Light A Candle...

Like many people across the US, my family attended a vigil for peace in our town.  The vigils were organized on a mass scale by Moveon.org.  In our town, people gathered in front of City Hall, held signs, lit candles, and formed small circles of rememberance, small circles of light.

My husband and 7-year old son and I are veterans of a number of peace rallies since the war in Iraq began five years ago.  My husand and son traveled to Washington, DC last year to participate in one of the largest demonstratons since the war began, marching one cold day from the Lincoln Memorial to the Pentagon.  That day, a pro-war protester handed my son an American flag as he walked by, and he carried it proudly.  The anti-war people were somewhat appalled by this gesture, and separated themselves from him.  To us, protesting is part of being American, and our son carried his flag proudly.  Isn't the right to free speech one of the rights we're supposedly sending our young men and women to die for?

Why is it considered unpatriotic to exercise the freedoms guaranteed under the Constitution?  I would posit that the most patriotic acts of all are those in which we raise our voices in opposition to tyranny and oppression, those acts in which we stand together so we don't fall apart. 

Teaching Compassion, One Child at a Time

My son Alex was watching the "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" movie while I was cooking dinner the other night.  A commercial came on for a program to help kids in third world countries.  It featured a story of a family with several children, one of whom sometimes opts to go hungry so his little brother can have food.  Normally, Alex doesn't watch commercials, since the magic that is Tivo allows us to fast forward through all those sugary cereals and Bratz dolls ads.  This time, he watched this commercial intently, and ran in to tell me about it.

"Mom! There are kids who don't have food or parents! They don't have schools or medicine!  I need to help them!"  he said.

I asked him if he got the number or the website.  He went back and got his dad to back up the Tivo so he could write down the number.  The next thing I knew, he was on the phone.

Birth of a Liberal

I have been thinking about this election and how invested and involved I am in it, probably more so than any election since my first time as a voter. That was way back in 1980, when I was a sophomore at Barnard College in New York. Since it was my first time, I looked at the candidates carefully. I didn't consider myself a Democrat or a Republican. I was the product of a mixed marriage (dad's a Republican, mom's a Democrat). I liked Jimmy Carter as a person, but as a President, he fell short of expectation. With the Iranian Hostage Crisis, gas rationing, and all the economic problems of the late '70's, it seemed like someone else could do a better job.

The problem was, the alternative was even scarier. I remember watching a video of Ronald Reagan driving through the California countryside, pointing out the window and saying, "I expect that some day this could all be ashes...all be gone...if the Soviets get their way. We have to build up our nuclear arsenal to make sure that doesn't happen."

He was so calm, so matter-of-fact. He scared the crap out of me. He was basically saying, "We'd better get them, before they get us." The idea that this guy would be in charge of nuclear weapons, or even a water pistol, gave me nightmares.

Walking with (Animatronic) Dinosaurs

Yesterday was my husband's birthday, and what he wanted to do on his special day was go to see the Walking with Dinosaurs: The Live Experience stage show.  Since you only turn 48 once, I decided to indulge him and go along.  Our 7 year old son, of course, was thrilled.

My husband and son are big fans of the Chased by Dinosaurs BBC series.  If you're not familar with it, a guy named Nigel Marven takes a trip back in time to visit with dinosaurs.  It's a very well done series, and the dinosaurs really come to life with a combination of CGI, puppetry, and animatronics.  Nigel get into a few scrapes now and then, just to make it interesting.  He's like the Steve Irwin of the Jurassic era.

They've taken this concept and turned it into a live-action stage show, with an "archaeologist" guide and some life-sized dinosaurs that move, make noises, and act a lot like what I imagine dinosaurs would be like.  The host explains the different periods, from the Triassic to the Cretaceous, and the famous Jurassic in between.  The big finale is the T-Rex, which stops and bellows at the audience.

Sometimes, Breastfeeding Sucks

When I was pregnant with my son, there was a mini-baby boom in my office.  That year, no less than five women gave birth, which was pretty remarkable considering that only 22 people worked in the office at the time.  Of the preggos, four of us were committed to breastfeeding, and one decided early on that she would not, under any circumstances, breastfeed her baby.  Her rationale was that she had given over her body for 9 months to this baby, and that was her limit. She wanted her body back and that was that.

Around the watercooler, this became a topic of ongoing conversation.  No amount of research (she was herself a trained biologist) or emotional appeals about mother-child bonding would sway her.  I'm pretty much a "to each her own" kind of gal, but this was puzzling to me. 

I entered into the breastfeeding business a bit naively, I must admit.  I had this vision of a blissful scene of mother and baby bonding and gazing lovingly at each other in blissed-out harmony.  I thought, "How hard could it be?" and defiantly scoffed at the training video provided by the hospital.

School Days

Parents in Palo Alto are notoriously involved in their kids education, perhaps overly so.  There's a sense that if your child doesn't go to the right pre-school, or the right elementary school, they will not get into Stanford or one of the Ivies and be doomed to a lifetime of asking, "Paper or plastic?"

I went to a parenting lecture once by a local physician who said something along the lines of, "It's as though we're setting out kids up to go to do well in school so they go to the right college, to get into the right grad school, to get the right job, so that maybe they'll be happy when they're 34.  What about teaching them to be happy right now?  Teaching them to appreciate what's in front of them and not being so focused on what's ahead?"

Meet the Candidates Forum: Palo Alto School Board Candidates

I attended a "Meet the Candidates" forum for candidates for Palo Alto School Board on Friday, October 26 at the Palo Alto YMCA.  The event was co-sponsored by the Parents' Club of Palo Alto & Menlo Park, PACE, and The Silicon Valley Moms Blog.

Board Candidates Melissa Baten-Caswell, Wynn Hausser, Claude Ezran, Camile Townsend, Barbara Klausner and Ping Yu Liu were on hand to answer questions.  The moderator posed questions to two candidates at a time from a list submitted by community members prior to the event.  Individuals in attendance were given index cards to write new questions and submit them. 

Here are some* of the questions and answers:

BlogHers Act: Support The MOTHERS Act

Today, as part of the BlogHers Act movement, mothers and others across the country encouraged to call their U.S. Senators and urge their support of The MOTHERS Act, important, needed legislation to provide services to women suffering from postpartum depression (PPD).  The MOTHERS Act stands for "The Mom’s Opportunity To Access Help, Education, Research, and Support" for Postpartum Depression Act.

The MOTHERS Act (S. 3529) is a Senate Bill sponsored by U.S. Senators Robert Menendez (D-NJ) and Richard Durbin (D-IL) and will ensure that new moms and their families are educated about PPD, screened for symptoms, and provided with essential services.  It will also increase research into the causes, diagnoses and treatments for postpartum depression by a program of grants.

Postpartum depression is a serious and disabling condition that affects approximately 800,000 American women each year.  However, only about 15 percent of these women receive any assessment or treatment for the condition.  Postpartum depression can occur anytime during pregnancy or within the first year after childbirth. A woman may have a number of symptoms such as sadness, lack of energy, trouble concentrating, anxiety, and feelings of guilt and worthlessness. The difference between postpartum depression and the "baby blues" is that postpartum depression often affects a woman’s well-being and prevents her from functioning well for a longer period of time.  Postpartum psychosis is a rare and more severe form of perinatal mood disorders, and is covered under The MOTHERS Act as well.

San Mateo County Democratic Straw Poll: One Mom's View

I liveblogged the San Mateo County Presidential Straw Poll on Sunday from the San Mateo Expo Center in San Mateo, California.  I posted my live reports on MOMocrats, the Moms for Edwards site that a few friends and I started last month.  The Straw Poll was a way for Californians to hear from each of the Democratic Presidential campaigns and cast a ballot in favor of their favorite candidate.

The event was exciting, and all of the speakers did a great job making the case for why their candidate was the best person for the job.  There were booths set up around the hall, and people lined across the floor of the Expo Center to get their paper ballots. 

The first speaker was Congressman Tom Lantos, who didn't endorse any particular candidate, but expressed his admiration for all of them, and noted that he considers all of them friends and and very capable individuals.  Each of the candidates then had an opportunity to send a representative to make their case.