Silicon Valley Moms Blog

Social Networking Is Messing With My Head

Social networking is messing with my head!

At first, I used social networking tools for work.  It was my world for recruiting and hiring and networking. Then, I started to bring in my family and friends to these networks and the awkward feelings of having these two worlds in one place left me conflicted.  I got over it pretty fast and felt - THIS IS ME.  This is who I am!  I am a human resource executive, a social media junkie, a blogger, a mom, a wife.  I should not (and am not) ashamed of who I am and what I do....  and yes, I am months away from turning forty (so you now all know my age!)

Jump ahead to the here and now:  between Twitter and Facebook, I could literally be on-line all day. 24/7.  Without a break.  Add the blogs that I run, and I could just eat my meals behind the keyboard and type away.  Then add in email and work responsibilities, and I am in severe overload. Seriously, at some point, email, social media tools, blogging, queuing up posts, editing, working... it just gets to be TOO MUCH.  I can't even remember what life was like before all these tools!

Ah, but then you throw in the psychology factor (let's really mess with your head, Jill!), which I call:  getting befriended by old, high school friends that you have not talked to in fifteen to twenty years on Facebook - and social networking takes on a whole new meaning. 

THE BLAST FROM THE PAST .....  my past, pre-Silicon Valley, pre-California, pre-marriage, pre-kids life that I have not really thought about in a very, VERY long time.

Breastfeeding At Facebook - Protest at Palo Alto, Facebook Headquarter Office

(VIDEO OF THE FACEBOOK NURSE-IN PROTEST BELOW)

I had a really, REALLY hard breastfeeding my first born.  She had horrific colic and simply would not latch.  I tried going to a lactation consultant.  I spent hours listening to her cry as I shoved her against my breast.  I spoke to every friend and relative who knew anything (and everything) about breastfeeding. I even prayed to the breastfeeding Gods to make this child latch! And at the end of the day, I gave up and pumped (around the clock) for three LONG, hellish months.  After these three months of feeling like a cow hooked up to a pump, I gave up.  And yes, I felt like a failure.

With daughter number two, I was determined to learn how to breastfeed.  Yes, I NEEDED TO LEARN... since my first experience was so difficult.  And you know what, my second daughter came out of the womb, immediately latched and... voila.... I successfully nursed her for the next sixteen months. 

SUCCESS!

Two different children.  Two different outcomes.  Two completely different experiences.  But one thing in common:  I did not take one single picture of my experience breastfeeding.  I am not really sure why.  I was insanely private about nursing, covering up in public, making decisions not to go out for a while because I was embarrassed to show my nipple.  Embarrassed what other people (and society) would think. Embarrassed about exposing my body. As I look back now, I think to myself, what ashame.... because nursing and breastfeeding is so natural and so beautiful. I wish that I had a place and a community to embrace me while I was giving the gift of health and life to my babies. I certainly hope my daughters won't feel as insecure about their bodies and nursing in public as their mother and that it simply would be a natural and normal process......

The Art Of Yoga Project

If someone asked you to go back to your teenage years, would you?  Seriously, would you ever want to be a teenager again?  Remember the raging hormones, feelings of insecurity and thinking that no one understood you?  Remember desperately WANTING to be older and taken seriously but in reality, you were just a child? Quite honestly, no one could pay me any amount of money to be a teenager again. 

I joke that I blossomed into my "own" with motherhood. 

Here is what I remember from being a teenager in the 1980's:  mean girls, clicks, drinking, drugs and alcohol.  I remember some friends being sexually active before high school.  I remember wanting so hard to fit in, but not quite making the cut and doing some pretty stupid things during this time.  But one thing I never feared or even thought about was jail.

Take a big leap to 2008 and note, THE WORLD HAS CHANGED.  Life for our teenagers has changed.   Simply hanging out with the WRONG group or (gulp) a gang can lead to a life of self destruction and for many, juvenile detention and jail.

Center Stage and The San Francisco Nutcracker

My Grandmother and Great Grandmother were professional singers and dancers.  My mother danced  as young child through her late teens.  And for me, well lets just say the entertainment gene did not pass down to my body. As much as I wanted to sing, dance and perform, I was not blessed with the gift of confidence or talent on the stage (though rumor has it that you might be able to hear me belting out songs from A Chorus Line and Wicked while in the shower).

Yesterday, I had the rare and unique opportunity to face my fear of the theater straight on. During the next few weeks, I will be a parent volunteer for the upcoming performances of the San Francisco Nutcracker and had to participate in volunteer orientation.  What I didn't realize at the time was that they were going to take me on to THE stage.  The actual stage of the San Francisco War Memorial Opera House where the professional company performs the Nutcracker.  It actually happened kind of fast, with no time to prepare.  We walked through a corridor, made a few turns and then we were there. 

On center stage. 

If you would have ever told me that I would stand on the center stage of any theater, I would have told you that you were crazy.

Chills ran down my spine and I could feel my body tense.  There I was on stage of the San Francisco Opera House, and I literally could not move.  FROZEN.   The beauty and enormity of this landmark was something I have never felt in my entire life.  There I was looking out at three thousand plush-red empty seats, vaulted and coffered ceiling, and sweeping balconies that wrapped around the entire theater. I don't think that I could actually see the front doors to the opera house, but the massive columns, orchestra pit below and  metal structures above my head were overwhelming.  How could anyone actually get up on THIS stage and perform?  Stage fright consumed me, but excitement of the upcoming performances entered my inner being.

I am going to make you itch, just by saying the word LICE!!!!!

LICE.  There, I said it.  I said the one word that will make you scratch and itch and feel totally grossed out.  Come on, admit it.  You are scratching your head right now as you read these words.  The itch will now move down your body.  Maybe you are now itching your arm or leg?  Yes, I know.  Just THAT word can get the mind playing tricks on your body.  Do you want to know how I know?  Yup, you guessed it - Our child has finally been blessed with a few crawly-critters of the hair - on her birthday, nonetheless!

I have actually taken pride that in nine years of motherhood and almost forty years of life, I have never had to experience lice.  Yes people, I have taken this as a sign that I am doing something right when it comes to parenting.  Though my kids may land in therapy later on for a bazillion OTHER things, lice would not be one of them.  Numerous times, I have heard other families fight these icky critter and each and every time,  I have thought to myself - THANK GOD lice has not entered our heads!  (and then I would immediately scratch my head!).

Denial was my first reaction.  Seriously, I did not believe that MY daughter would get lice.  I literally examined her scalp for over 30 minutes and did not see anything.  And then a little bugger jumped out of her hair.  Yes, JUMPED!  I screamed.  She screamed.  ... and then I completely FREAKED OUT. 

Overcoming my fear of cooking, at a Silicon Valley Indian Market

"Twas the day before Thanksgiving, and a little voice inside me said, "Jill, it is time to cook, It is time to be adventurous with your cooking.  It is time to get over your fear of cooking and JUST DO IT.".  You see, my mother owns Thanksgiving, meaning that she does all the cooking and entertaining this one day of the year.  Yes, she owns the holiday (don't even ask...).  I don't even think about cooking or inviting friends and family over to our house on this holiday  It is off limits.  Which is probably a good thing, because I have this awful fear of cooking.  While it might be creative and fun for most of you, it is utterly stressful for me.  I can't even get passed opening the pages of the cookbook.  The panic just sets in LOOKING at the cookbook.

Mind you, with the best intentions to cook, I have an entire collection of unopened, unused cookbooks.  Purchasing the cookbooks is NOT my issue... it is the cooking part that stumps me.

Over the past year, the number of Gluten Free cookbooks have increased in the Asher home.  It is almost one year to date that I became gluten free.  The doctors have tested me for gluten allergies and Celiac, but everything has come back negative.  They think I am crazy or making this up...  My mother gives me that quizzical look, like I am turning into a Calfiornia hippy. What I can tell you for certain is that when i eat wheat, I get a nasty rash on my face and elbows, I puff up and I feel bloated.  Off wheat, i am fine.  I don't care what the doctors tell me - I know gluten is my enemy and that I need to keep away.

So what do I do?  I collect cookbooks and dream about being Rachael Ray or Martha Stewart or anyone with a cooking show.... but then I literally get stuck and revert back to the few recipes that are easy.  But oh, on this Thanksgiving eve, I decided to face my fears HEAD on and cook... get this.... INDIAN FOOD!

Palo Alto Prop 8 Vigil

This evening, my children and close friends returned to the Palo Alto corner of El Camino Real and Embarcadero.  Directly across the street from the entrance to Stanford University and Palo Alto High School, we joined hundreds of friends, old and new (along with the Raging Grannies), to hold a peaceful vigil about passing of Proposition 8.  The moods were somber.  The tears shed on many of the peaceful protesters. The hope that someday, all of our citizens will be treated equal was the common denominator.  But the one message we heard over and over again tonight was that it is time for our Supreme Court to do the right thing and overturn Prop 8.

WTF Gentry Magazine... Sloane Citron on DIVERSITY

Dear Sloane Citron, Founder and Publisher of Gentry Magazine.

You  just knew that we were going to have to comment on your latest November 2008 Gentry article, A Diverse Story. 

Written by Sloane Citron, Founder and Publisher of Gentry Magazine.  November 2008 issue.  Page 18.

I am walking on a thin ledge here, but I want to address a subject that I first broached several months ago.  I fully respect your right to disagree with me, but I hope you me the benefit of expressing my own thoughts.  Several months ago I wrote a piece about my children's wonderful school, Hillview Middle School in Menlo Park.  After eight years and four kids through school I was -and am- sorry this experience is finished.

I walked into a hornet's next by lauding Hillview in the piece and regretting the move to Menlo-Atherton where "diversity" seems to be the key philosophy of the school's operation.  Well, as a result of my statement deprecating this emphasis on diversity, a group of women started a blog condemning me and my statement about diversity.

To continue reading this full article, go to Gentry Magazine's site, click on the November South Bay issue and enter page 16 or... click HERE and enter page 16.  Go on... read it!  We'll wait!

Where to even begin?

Prop 8 - a very sad morning.....

We woke up this morning full of hope. Obama's victory is the start of a new direction for our country. We want to celebrate. Yet, on a more sobering note, Prop 8 passed. We are saddened, shocked and dismayed that such a hateful measure could pass in our state. We wanted to believe that equality for all would trump homophobia and hate. We were wrong and can not understand the fear that our fellow Californians have about marriages. There clearly is more work to be done to assure equal rights for all in this state.

We try to teach our kids about equal rights, and acceptance. We like to think that if we had been alive during the civil rights movement, we would have been marching, kids by our side. Yesterday, we joined Stanford students, Paly students, friends (old and new) and their children to protest Prop 8 in Palo Alto, on the corner of El Camino Real and Embarcadero. We all want to make this world a better place for ALL our children. Here is some video from our afternoon on the corner. If you are curious, Prius owners were the most supportive!

Jill Asher and Pamela Hornik, Co-Founders of Silicon Valley Moms Blog.

We tried... we really TRIED.....Other No On 8 Posts from SV Moms include:

• Aren't You Glad Your Not Gay?
• Relief and Hope- With A Twinge Of Sadness
• A Special Sunday Wedding for "the girls across the street"
• What Are The Political Lawn Sign's In YOUR Neighborhood?
• Are My Sons Gay?  I hope not
• In Which The Political Becomes Deeply Personal
• How the California Supreme Court made an honest woman out of me, same-sex marriage, and teh Prop 8 campaign
• A Christian against Prop 8

Video from Palo Alto Obama Headquarters Office

What are we to do this historic election day?  With many hours before the polls are set to close, we had to find a way to spend our time in a productive manner. 

Put a group of four women in a Prius on election day in Palo Alto and you never know what to expect.  Our destination, the Palo Alto Obama Campaign Office on the lovely El Camino Real.  The drive there was interesting.  Doing our civic duty, we removed some illegally placed campaign signs on Alma.  We were non partisan in our sign removal.

Challenge One:  Parking!  Parking on El Camino Real near the HQ office was next to impossible.  (Note to campaign, next time pick a better location.  Volunteers basically can NOT park within blocks of your office).  Driving by, we could see volunteers spilling out into th parking lot and surrounding areas, sitting on chairs in their makeshift offices and making calls from their personal cell phones.

Challenge Two:  After finding a coveted parking spot, there was the Obama HQ Bouncers, guarding the door to the call center.  They seemed to be less than thrilled to see me with my Flip Camcorder.  "NO Paparazzi Allowed!"  We somehow managed to convince bouncer number one to tell the volunteer organizers that all we wanted to do was take video of the volunteers in action for Silicon Valley Moms Blog.  I think it was the pink Obama hat that did the trick.  We were invited inside and took this video; an inside glimpse on what is happening today in obviously a very intense environment.