Silicon Valley Moms Blog

I Quit!

Today was a big day for me.  I quit my job. Those who know me are probably wondering WTF? since I haven't actually been going to a job since LG was born.

I went on leave before LG was born and I haven't been back since. Thankfully my school district is awesome and I have had a 3 year leave of absence. Next year (2008-2009 school year) I either have to go back or quit.

In all honesty, each year I put in a letter requesting to come back part time to see what is available. Then I check out the job listings. Next I check on how much money it is to have full time day care or a nanny and think, "No way!" "There is no way in hell that I am going to pay someone that much money to raise my child when I can do it myself." If teaching paid great money that would be a different story but I would be working to pay someone to raise my kid. No thanks.

Of course, this year I put in the same note about working part time. HR let me know that I could work part time but that I would lose my tenure and become a temporary teacher. I wasn't happy about that but

G-U-I-L-T

When I saw that we were going to have a day about GUILT, I was all over it.  Then 15 other things happened and here I am at 4:30 p.m. trying to figure out what to write since I have long forgotten what I was going to say.

I am actually in therapy trying to figure out my life.  This life I have created for myself is not making me happy.  The center of it all?  GUILT!  Can do enough for this person, can't do anything for myself....you get the picture.

My Two Year Old Has An Admirer

OK, OK, she will be three in a week.  Three years old!  Holy crap!  I digress...

LG has an admirer. My MIL teaches ESL to adults and always has wonderful students. This year she has a Russian lady who has a 6 year old grandson. The woman has obviously told her grandson all about her teacher's granddaughter, LG. I am not actually sure that she has ever seen LG.

About a month ago, LG started getting little gifts. Some books here. A little toy there. Nothing new and fancy, clearly some of the little boy's favorites. It has been really sweet and it has given me some giggles.

Then Valentines Day came. LG got a gift from her admirer! I didn't even get a gift! OK I got dinner but

Baby Brains

My daughter brought home the funniest book from the library this weekend.  Baby Brains by Simon James has given some really great laughs this week.  I will be purchasing it for all of my friends that I consider overachievers.

The book starts with a mother and father pregnant with a child.  They want their baby to be smart so while in the womb they read to the baby, played music and languages through head phones on her tummy and they turned up the TV news every night.  So Silicon Valley right?

It Keeps Raining and Raining and Raining

I am done with the rain.  It has been raining ALL week.  Not only is it raining, it is so cold.  It feels like Oregon here in good ol' Silicon Valley.

I went to college in Oregon.  It was beautiful there, until it started raining and didn't stop for 4 months.  I only made it 2 quarters there before coming home for warmer weather.  Oregon is a nice place to visit but I wouldn't want to live there.

Heath Ledger Found Dead

What is going on in Hollywood?  Heath Ledger was found dead in his apartment today.  He was 28.  Police seem to think it could be drug related.

Amy Winehouse has been caught on video smoking a crack pipe.  Britney Spears has just lost it.

Discuss.

Wow Am I Fat

Holy shit, lately I have seen a few photos of me and I am fat. Beyond fat. Obese if you will. I could post the photos that horrified me but I won't embarass myself more.

When I was at the doctor the other day I will admit I asked about diet drugs. He said no way, they don't work. I knew he would say that but I just wanted to hear his opinion. He said that Fen-Phen worked but then of course you get a hole in your heart so that is a no go.

Another "What the hell was I thinking?" Moment

A month or so ago my daughter talked me into getting a gingerbread house kit. Yes, she is 2 so she didn't really convince me as much as she asked me to buy one. I thought it would be fun!

I have never actually made a gingerbread house before. I did something with my first graders using graham crackers and small milk cartons and I remember that it didn't go well. BUT, this was a kit so it should be easy! NOT. SO. MUCH.

We started on Monday after my 2 year olds nap. I hadn't read the directions before opening the box with LG. I soon discovered that you had to put the walls of the house up and then wait 30 minutes. Then you had to put the roof on and wait an hour. Yeah, 2 year olds don't really understand the whole waiting game.

Neighborly Love

I have a confession to make.  I have a crush on my neighbor.  It is really a silly little thing but it is a total crush!

This crush is so different from those crushes while growing up.  He fits the bill on all of my "must haves" in a husband from when I was younger and single.  That is what kills me.  He is my perfect guy....or what I envision my perfect guy is.

2 Years Later and Still Dealing

It started the day after my daughter was born.  A group of friends sat in our hospital room celebrating and loving on my newborn.  Around 8 I told everyone I was really tired so they should probably head out.  Everyone said their goodbyes and left.  My husband included.

The tears started at about 8:10.  I was alone.  Alone with this beautiful baby that I had no clue what I was supposed to do with.  I cried alone for awhile and then I called my husband.  He felt bad but he wasn't really sure what to say.  I hung up and felt more alone.  LG and I went to sleep and the next morning it was time to go home.