Silicon Valley Moms Blog

Play-Based Business Plan

We watched Daddy Day Care last night, a movie about two laid off dads taking advantage of an opportunity to "clean up" in a town of horrible day care choices.  Of course they discover the side benefits of running a daycare: the daddies get to spend more time with their kids and Eddie Murphy's little cutie gains some social skills and starts playing with other kids.  It's like a grand-old playdate every day.  Even with these added perks, these dads don't think twice about charging and actually making a profit off this endeavor.  I know it's fiction, but it's not exactly science fiction, and for some reason my husband cannot grasp this concept.

I don't want to get back to the "true meaning"

I originally didn't want to write today about how the economy is affecting our holiday.  I mean, I've been a Grinch for years, pushing for emailing Christmas cards, eliminating presents for anyone but the kids, or at least not mom and dad and kids.  One year, I instituted a gift limit and my husband just included the "house" as one of the presents. So I've been reading today about cutting down and how a these hard economic times means we can get back to the true meaning of the holiday. 

Which got me thinking about why I cannot relate to so much of this.  And it's not the fact that my husband's career change several years ago meant we had to start cutting back way before the hard economic times hit.  I mean, I may actually get a bonus this year (no raise and stocks in the tank, but a small bonus), which should (and mostly will) go to pay off a tiny portion of our dept and cover rent and deposit for this month in our new house.  I'm sick of thinking about the economy, given that I hear about it on a daily basis at work and the news and on-line, and according to the powers that be we're looking at 2011 or later for a recovery.  I cannot think that far ahead.

Diversity Education Starts at Home

I'll confess right now that I have not been actively teaching my kids about diversity. Beyond telling them that people all have different talents, diversity has not been a big topic of discussion in our home.  As a mom, an employee and manager, an American, I believe diversity in cultures, backgrounds, skills and ethnicities can be a wonderful thing.  We live in a diverse area (Silicon Valley) in a country full of people from all different parts of the world, and we need to be able to not just get along, but reap the benefits.

Unfortunately, it's not so simple to "teach diversity" and I can only go from my own experiences.

Scary times in the Valley

There's nothing like spending one to two hours a day reassuring employees and co-workers that they will probably not be laid off when you're a busy working mom with no extra time.  Well, besides the fact that I'm really not a super efficient worker, this is a valuable use of time these days, not to mention looking up unemployment insurance to cover long shut-downs.  My company, among many others in the valley, have been in the news lately, although thankfully nothing even remotely like this was reported here. Seems a fired employee returned and shot three executives at the company.  Thank goodness he was caught.  There are a lot of worried people, not just here in Silicon Valley of course, but I hope this is not seen as more horrors to come from disgruntled employees.

The Pick-up Playdate

You've heard about the drop-off playdate, that lovely invention that allows busy mommies a bit of free time and active kiddos a chance to torment someone besides their little brother.  Okay, I've never actually dropped my kids off anywhere specifically for a playdate, but it's on my list of things to do, as soon as I learn which mom goes with which kid at school.  Our "drop-off playdates" look more like this:

Husband calling me:  I've got a training session at 3pm today, just wanted to let you know my schedule

Me (at work): Uh, okay.  What are you doing with the kids?

Him: Think your parents could take them?

Me:  I don't know, why don't you call?  Then who would pick them up?

Him:  I don't know, I couldn't get there until around 7. I'll just call Xxxh, see if she can take Keegan home.  When can you get home?

Me:  I need to pick up Dovonan, but I'll try to be there by 5:30.

Save me from the Horrible Guilt

Susan wanted to sell her Mama Guilt recently over in Chicago, and while no, I don't need to buy anymore (thank you very much), it sure brought up guilt pangs of my own.  I thought I had it under control. At least the guilt the guilt that comes from being a full-time out of the house working mom.  But it's come back like a bad corned beef sandwich, and it's not going to be wished away. 

Just the other day my son fell asleep in class, and we realized he had a fever when he came home and slept for 4 more hours, woke up with some spots on his back and then slept the whole night through.  And you know what I was hoping?  That he'd still be sick in the morning and we could both take the day off.  Knock on wood but neither of us have missed a day from illness pretty much ever.  So why, besides my horrendous work and life schedule, did I crave that?   Here's what I've been hearing from my son lately:

"I don't want to go to school mommy, because I want to spend more time with you."

"I changed my mind, I don't want to sleep at grandma and grandpa's, I want to come home and stay with you because I haven't gotten to see you much."

"Can you come downstairs with me?  I've hardly got to see you this week."

"You say you love me, but then you don't buy me things that I want."

When Will it End?

Our own little silicon-valley-family-economy has been going down hill for a while.   First my husband decided to pursue his dream job, which, lets just say, doesn't have a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow five year plan.  Our house didn't sell so after three months of torturous mortgage payments, we rented it.  And then the Semiconductor downturn hits, which means lower bonus payments and raises, more uncertainty, underwater options and falling stock prices.  It's a cyclical industry, though my company is is now entering the solar-space, which wall street loves.  While we can't see the end we know what goes down must come up.  Then bam, this crash and burn and bailout and the stock drops more and I can pretty much kiss this year's bonus good-bye.

Like many others, I thought we were still in okay shape.  I'm not thrilled being the main breadwinner, but at least my job is pretty stable, and our house is worth more than we paid for it, even with the falling prices.  Two months ago I instituted project stop spending on anything we don't absolutely need, determined to dig ourselves out of this hole, relying way to much on overdraft protection.  I've also implemented a 24/7 work schedule to ensure I keep my job. Not a suitable plan for a mom with small kids who's also trying to save money (full disclosure, I have kept my housekeeper).  But then there's the trickle down effect, which I cannot control.  Our renters qualified to buy the house with their new loan, and we're willing to sell the house for a significantly reduced amount. But now they're losing contracts and therefore are unsure of their long-term income.  Guess what people stop spending there money on when the economy is in the pits? 

Shout Out to East Palo Alto Teacher: Help Students Learn to Read and Speak English

I remember last year sitting in my son's kindergarten class at their reading comprehension station, where they'd listen to a story then write and draw pictures about it. I was amazed to see an actual cassette tape! When was the last time you saw one of those? But we know that In many classrooms around Silicon Valley, our children have incredible technology to help with their reading comprehension: Ipods, MP3 players and laptops.  What a new way of learning....    They are the "fortunate" students.

I see there is a school around here (East Palo Alto) that doesn't even have these cassette players. Or reading stations! We all know how important it is for ALL our kids to read and pronounce words properly, especially ESL students!  Ms. B, a librarian in nearby East Palo Alto has put out this request and she is  hoping that the Silicon Valley Community will give her students a fighting chance at learning and reading in English:

Using a listening center allows students to read the text and hear the language fluency simultaneously. Having listening centers available to students is HUGE!

Giving them the opportunity to hear fluent English and read along gives them the exposure to language they need to become fluent in speaking English.

Your help will ensure my students exposure to the English language. Their fluency and confidence in reading will only grow through the use of a listening center!

You Go J-Lo

I'm not a big celebrity news follower, not even having time to keep up with friends, much less random strangers, but I do read the Mercury News gossip column, and when I read this it just pissed me off.

J-Lo made good on her promise to train for and complete a postnatal triathlon, sort of. She did indeed compete in the so-called Nautica Malibu Triathlon in Malibu over the weekend which, for that, we say: Nice one! But, let's give a nod to all those real triathletes out there with a look at the numbers: Malibu has a half-mile swim. A real triathlon has a 2.4 mile swim. Malibu has an 18-mile bike ride. Real triathlon goes 112 miles. Malibu, four-mile run. Real triathlon, 26.2 mile run. So, Iron Man it is not, 'K?
 

Bad Things come in Threes, Fours, Fives?

I rushed out of the house the other morning, still on time for school, to find my driver side window smashed to smithereens.  Actually I opened my trunk, which set off the alarm, which made me look to see if a door had been left open in the car.  Whoa, the whole window was gone, and hundreds of pieces of glass sparkled greenly in the light.  They had, of course, grabbed the GPS and brand new iPod, and I knew he would not actually say it to me, but my husband would have had every right to say "I told you so."  Classic "smash and grab," my husband later showed off his lingo to the cop.  My curious son, already upset about having to go to school, of course was mesmerized by the glass, asked what happened, how he broke the window, what we should do, how he broke the glass, how we would fix it, and on and on, and I did what I usually do in these situations, get on with the task at hand, and deal with the messy stuff later, hoping my husband will step in.

Unfortunately it was my more sensitive son with me, who just the day before of all things asked me "why do people steal?"  I had initially answered that sometimes they are hungry or need something for their kids, so we have to look at them with compassion, understanding, see what they are taking.  Not these guys, though, they just stole to make a quick buck.  It was only material things, though, and I was more focused on getting my son to school without being too late and figuring out how to still get my errands done, and taking care of this later. He cried all the way, though, sad my things he kept repeating (he's picked out the pink iPod), and I did my best to console and explain and let him share his feelings.  My initial reaction was to make light of it, noone got hurt, etc, but I realized he needs to get it out, and like me, I think finds catharsis in becoming emotional.  I wanted to make sure he wasn't scared, just sad (and not just looking for an excuse to miss school), but I was bummed he wouldn't get to see the policeman as that would have been exciting  and likely more reassuring than I could ever be.