Silicon Valley Moms Blog

Food Fight

Dinner is the only meal in which I require everyone to sit down at the table.  It’s an important tradition from my childhood.  As a busy working mom, dinnertime is the time to reconnect with my family.  We talk about our day, about current events, about really anything.  When I get home from a day at the office, I quickly get a wholesome meal on the table so that we can spend time as together as a family.

Yet dinnertime at my house is rapidly reaching Code Red status.  What was once a pleasant meal has turned into a power struggle of epic porportions.  No, my son isn’t refusing to eat dinner.  No, he isn’t exihibiting any bad manners.  In fact, my son will eat everything you put on his plate.

It takes him over 90 minutes to finish.  The battle I face every night is to get my son stay focused to eat dinner in a reasonable amount of time.   

Insider, Outsider

My son is bi-racial.  White mother.  Indian father.  At four, there are already two cultural identities forming.  One is the Irish-boy, Christian identity.  The other is the Indian-boy,  Zoroastrian identity.  He has is everyday clothes and his Indian clothes for cultural events.  He celebrates Christmas and attends Novjotes of older Zoroastrian children. 

He is an insider and an outsider in both communities.  He can blend into both.  He's looks white.  He understands Gujarati.  My son is what is means to be diverse.  He has two religions, two languages, two cultures, two names, two identities.  He thrives in both worlds. 

Yet on the outside, my son looks white.  He got his fair skin and brown hair from his momma.  If only looking skin deep, you'd never know his diverse roots. 

No More Toys!

“Do NOT throw those toys down onto the ground!  You’ll break it” I said to my son in frustration.  It was the third time he decided to throw down the special Transformers his grandpa had brought back from an international trip (my son’s specific request was for Bumblebee – and wouldn’t you know Grandpa just happened to find a toy store in France that had it).  The Transformers were supposed to be the ones to duking it out in an epic battle – but the pavement seemed to be winning the war.

“It’s okay, mom” he nonchalantly replied.  “”If it breaks, you’ll buy me another one at the store.”

Uh, excuse me? what did you just say? back up it up, buster!  My four year old son thinks that it is perfectly acceptable to trash his toys because he knows more are coming?  When did this kid put that reasoning together?  We aren’t at the store buying toys left and right.

Riding "it" Out

When the dot-com bubble burst in Silicon Valley back in lates 90s, I was a recent college grad.  I hoped that my entry-level salary and my passion to get the job done would keep me employed while nearly every start-up failed and companies were reducing their workforce.  I not only survived but received a promotion just weeks after the company reduced its staff by 10 percent.

This time it is more than just a high-tech bubble that has burst.  What once looked like just a real estate slump has turned into a major economic crisis.  Instead of worrying only about whether or not I will continue to be employed, I’ve watched my retirement, my home’s value, and my child’s college fund all significantly depreciate in just two weeks.  While my instinct has told me to pull out, to get out, to start saving my cash under the mattress… I am mostly doing nothing. 

Sure we are saving more and spending less.  But in the scheme of things, we are riding out the storm.

We have never been major spenders in our household.  Saving always seemed to play into our personal strengths.  We save for our retirement that's still 30+ years away, began saving for our child's college education before he was even born, and saved until we had 20% to put down on our home purchase.  And we are continuing to save even more.  While once happy with a 6 month "rainy day" fund, we now feel like we need to increase that to at least 12 months.  Who knows how long the economy will tank.  Who knows how much is the "safe" amount to have saved.   We can't rely on anyone but ourselves. 

Standing up for Working Mothers… Including Sarah Palin

Last Saturday night, I attended a family function with my very conservative, very Republican extended family.  I often make jokes about how I love them despite this fatal character flaw.  And they often make a similar joke about me.  The truth is, we simply don’t agree on nearly every aspect of politics and on many other issues.  We probably won’t ever agree.  Since they can’t change my mind and I can’t change theirs, politics rarely comes up.

When the election came up during a conversation on the economy, I kept my mouth shut.  I know my family will vote for McCain-Palin.  My family knows I will vote for Obama-Biden.  I’m glad that I live in a Blue State where I worry a little less about my family’s vote.  I kept myself out of the conversation until the only other Liberal in my family made a comment about whether or not Sarah Palin can handle the job with her young family.  I couldn’t stay silent any longer.

Considerate Commuting

Bay Area Commuters, can we chat for a minute?  I’ve noticed that since the majority of you have returned from summer vacation you’ve forgotten a thing or two about commuting on the worst freeways in California.  I’m not holding it against you that you weren’t around with me this summer.  In fact, summer is my favorite time of the school year.  Less cars, less traffic, less time to commute to work.  But now that we are all back to school, let’s review how to be a considerate commuter.

The Art of Merging
On-coming Commuters, you cannot expect to merge when you are going 25 miles an hour on a freeway with a 65mph speed limit.  Get up to speed as quick as you can.  You scare the sh*t out of us drivers already on the road. And while we are at it, don’t be trying to cut all the way to the front of the lane by driving on the side of the road.  It is unsafe, illegal, and annoying.

Left Behind

While many mothers across Silicon Valley prepare for their babies to start Kindergarten on Tuesday (if they haven’t started already), I’ve been facing this week with dread.  I don’t have a Kindergartner.  I have a preschooler.  One that gets left behind. 

While Jack, Nicolas, Lily, and Aiken go off to experience the first milestone of being a BIG KID, I’ll be drying the tears of my four year old.  At my son’s preschool, he was the youngest in his class.  He’s not old enough to go to Kindergarten even if he feels he JUST LIKE his older friends. 

My Dirty Little Secret

My palms are getting sweaty, my breath is becoming shallow, and my eyes dart from side to side.  I quickly walk up to the merchandise and pick one off the shelf and bury it under the other groceries in my cart.  When I check out, I refuse to make eye contact with the checker.  I am embarrassed.  When I get home, I quickly stuff the goods into the top drawer of my dresser.  I take a deep breath. 

I’m a 30-something mother who is mortified to buy *gasp* condoms. 

It’s like I’m a teenager again - doing something that I know I’m NOT supposed to be doing.  I am an adult in a loving committed relationship.  I’m not seventeen.  I’ve been having sex for all of my adult life and yet buying condoms still invokes a sense of shame in me.  I am mortified every time I buy condoms.

It's time for glasses

I’m officially getting old.  Or spending way too much time in front of the computer.  For the last month that it has been non-stop 10+ hours each day in front of my laptop while finishing my project.  I have a feeling that those long hours did a doozie on my eyes.  By the end each day, it felt like my eyes were twitching. I’d tear up on the drive home, my eyes not used to having to look at distances.  I didn’t want to admit that my perfect 20/20 vision is no longer perfect.

I’ve always been known as the “eagle eyes” of the family.  My mom and brother have terrible vision - my bro has been wearing glasses since he was in the second grade.  But my eyes....  My eyes were perfect!  I could see farther than most.  My parents would have me read long distances on the freeway - I was always the first in the car to read a sign.  I took pride in my perfect vision and was pleased when I passed on my supreme vision to my son. 

But working in high-tech for the last 8 years where I spend ample time in front of my computer has slowly worn away at my perfect vision.

Google Behaving Badly

Given that Google is chalk full of Googlaires – the employees that struck it rich when the company when public – perhaps co-founder Sergey Brin thinks it’s time to take back some of the employees cold hard cash.  Google is increasing their onsite daycare costs by 75%.  Employees who were paying $1400 a month in infant care will now pay almost $2500 a month; well over what is considered the market rate.

Perhaps Brin is testing out the economic theory of supply and demand that he learned while studying at Stanford.  Increase the cost to elitist proportions and see how the demand changes.  And it sounds like Google parents are deciding that onsite daycare is no longer a benefit but a burden.  The wait list at the Kinderplex has already dropped by more than 50%.