Silicon Valley Moms Blog

Shopping Local Will Save the World

In January I read an article by Rick Newman from the U.S. News and World Report entitled 17 Ways Consumers Are Changing. The article detailed how consumers have changed in light of the economic turmoil we've been experiencing the last several years. The current assault on the middle class, thanks to tax breaks to the very wealthiest of Americans, the greed of said wealthiest Americans as evidenced by the banking industry, and the out-of-control, non-regulated, no-competition healthcare industry (see #14 on the list) - has left most Americans holding their wallets close to their chests. Go figure.

Reading this article made me think, "This doesn't have to be all doom and gloom." If there's one thing that I learned from this economic downturn it's that American over-consumption keeps the world going round. The tchotchkes we purchase for next to nothing (and don't even need) allow China to pay their workers next to nothing, and allows them, in turn, to put American workers out of business and out of jobs. So when we stop shopping...when we pare back to what's necessary..omigosh...all hell breaks loose!

Who knew the world depended on Americans killing themselves, working way too may hours, just to buy plastic baubles? It turns out hoarders were right...crap is very, very important.

Lingerie for Little Ones?

Tween sensation Noah Cyrus (Miley’s little sister) and her gal pal Emily Reeves have been bandied about the glossies peddling Lingerie for the Little Ones.  Immediately my mama hackles go up—they are doing what? I am incensed – I am livid and afraid for the world my daughter is growing up in.

I know all about this world- I went to Mills College, I am in marketing and advertising and entertainment- I know all about being f’able and positioning to gender targeted markets. Somebody is figuring out that the purse strings are pulled by the purse holders… but for some reason women are still offered up, or offering ourselves up as chattel for chasing and chewing- not the multi-faceted, complex but worth it contributors that would make the world a better more interesting place for everybody. And now they are hitting the girls.

I am writing a TV pilot about a Hollywood PR agency- it’s my job to look at all of the tabloid news, digital and otherwise.  Recently red carpet and behind-the-music shots revolve around nine year-old Noah, but not as a nine year-old- more like a scale model of an agent provocateur mannequin. Is this really a tween texting award show or is it a pop-up ad for a wink-wink nudge-nudge barely legal adult pleasure site? The kids’ pre-braces smile is forced across her face as she and her pre-teen posse are stacked up like bake sale cookies around a stripper pole! It gets worse- you read the comments posted by paparazzi at the photo shoot- apparently poor Noah is quite shy and not real comfortable doing the whole red carpet schmooze.

It doesn't matter how good you've been, you're not getting it kid

When I attended his class Holiday Party, I moved around the room to see all the work displayed from floor to ceiling.  There were glittery poinsettias, construction paper dreidels, and reindeer’s antlers made from their own hands.  And tucked away into the far side of the room, where most parents still hadn’t ventured, was handwritten letters to Santa.  All of the letters started the same way, “Dear Santa, I’ve been a very good boy/girl.”  I’m guessing the teachers gave the children some examples of what to write next.  Some said they were nice to their little brother or sister.  Some said they picked up their toys. Others said they listened to their parents. But that was the end of the similarity.  What came after was the wish list. After all, one doesn’t write to Santa to ask for World Peace. It’s all about the toys.

I was getting quite a chuckle from the list of toys requested by the class. There were dolls, what I think was supposed to be a zhu zhu pet, superheroes, and even a request for a new bike.  But then I came to my son’s paper.  Darius wrote, clear as day, “I want a DS.” As in a Nintendo DS. 

It shouldn’t surprise me that he went big this year with the list.  After all, Santa has always brought him what he wanted. But those wants then weren’t as expensive as the wants of today.  Then it was a football helmet or a Lego Star Wars set.  It wasn’t a toy that costs over $150. This year he had originally told me that he was asking Santa for Bakugans.  And you know Santa already finished his shopping and bought those darn plastic thingamabobs and has them well hidden at the top of the closet waiting for Christmas morning. Santa isn’t buying a DS.  No way in hell.

The Mall Police: Me

My mom was in a wheelchair when I was a kid. She's all good now, but a few childhood things remain. One, having a mom in a wheelchair gets you to the front of every line at Disneyland. Two, wheelchair races are not for sissies;  and three, the closer you get to the holidays, the harder it is to navigate stores. As you know, wheelchair-bound or not, shopping displays. life-size Santas and hoards of merchandise racks are a bitch to work around.

My Mall Police badge of honor started in 2003 when my twins were born. I'd gone to the mall and realized in horror that I couldn't get through aisles in stores I normally could navigate with my double-wide Twin Savvy Stroller (or any of the other six strollers I had at the time). I walked into a store in San Jose and literally could not get to the items I wanted to see. As I pulled my stroller backwards to wiggle my way in, I noticed a wheelchair-bound woman trying to shop in the aisle. Eventually she gave up and left the store. In a rage, so did I.

When Does a Retailer Become Liable For the Atmosphere In Their Store?

I was out of state this year, and didn't participate in Black Friday, (didn't really want to carry things back in my suitcase,) but I hear from several sources (family being some of them) that there were many, many places with lines that wrapped around stores and into parking lots.  I know of people who hit Target, Toys R Us, Old Navy...to take advantage of the "2 hour specials" or be one of the first 15 to get the $50 gift card with the iphone. These stores had throngs of people lined up and ready to go,(at dark o'clock no less,) so why is that Walmart's were the stores with the newsworthy experiences?  Perhaps it's just the name Walmart that gets picked up by the media, but I have to believe if you saw the stampede or near riot at a Target it would make the news as well.

Last year, Walmart had a death occur as a result of Black Friday sales and  this year they nearly had a riot.  Why does this keep happening to Walmart?  Other stores don't seem to be having these issues, with similar sized crowds, so why do they?  Are there things they could do to prevent the "riot-like atmosphere"? 

The Great Tree Debate: Real or Artificial?

For the first time in my life, I'm considering an artificial Christmas tree.  Yes, I heard the collective gasp.  Close your mouths now.  My mom is practically not speaking to me for even broaching the subject. 

As I child, it was a family tradition to drive to the Santa Cruz Mountains and cut down our Christmas tree.  We'd make a day of it; trudging around in the foggy, damp hillside trying to locate just the right one.  One year we even lost our dog for a period of time, my mom decided she, (the dog) would be a good place marker and tied her to a tree.  She was a miniature dachshund.  A small dog is a bit hard to find in a forest of closely grown trees.  I have to admit, I was more partial to the years we had warmer, sunny weather. 

Now that I have my own family, we have started our own tradition.  The annual trudging to Home Depot in search of our perfect tree.  Yeah, seriously.  We're so low key about it, we prefer to pick one that is still wrapped up in rope from the truck.  They're easier to transport that way.  No, I'm not joking.  We don't get to see of there are any "holes" in the tree, but we've yet to be disappointed with our choice.  The bottom line is you can't beat the price.  I feel bad about that.  I prefer to be a community supporter; purchasing from a local organization (Boy scouts, Kiwanis...) but the comparable trees in those lots are easily $50, (probably more, it's been a while since I've looked at one of them).  Cutting down a tree from the mountains is actually more expensive than that.  Yes, I know, it's about the experience.  I'm all for the experience of the day out in the woods with my kids picking out our perfect tree.  But maybe that tree could be a smaller, less expensive version.  One that we decorate with birdseed ornaments in the yard.  We get our experience without the expensive price tag.  

Mom, the Holiday Catalogs are Here!

Like most folks this year, money is tight at our house.  We're not taking any lavish vacations or buying a Mercedes Benz and putting a big red bow in it to surprise daddy with it Christmas morning.  (sigh, maybe next year...not!) This year I am doing gifts more strategically - leveraging coupons, buying when things are on sale and creating more home made items.  What is throwing a wrench into my plan? Catalogs.

I admit, I love them.  When I get 10 minutes of free time, I love to leaf through them - all glossy, fresh and  people in fun holiday poses without a care in the world.  That could me right? heh!  One of my many guilty pleasures is to imagine how fun it would be have that gorgeous Rebecca Minkoff purple purse from Nordstrom or some gadget from the Bang & Olufsen catalog.  Swoon.  I am getting a steady stream now - one to three a day.  Yikes!

It's Happy Halloween not Ho-Ho-Ho

Halloween is right around the corner, so it's time to pick your pumpkins, unpack the fake cob-webs, and download "Monster Mash" on iTunes.  Of course, it's not Halloween without Trick-or-Treating, so don't forget to shop for costumes and bags of candy (or in my case, Play-doh) for a festive night with the family. It all sounds fun, but I tell you what, I dread shopping for Halloween costumes, and here's why:

HIGHS: I absolutely love finding costumes for my five-year-old daughter. She has a vivid imagination and many interests, so it's fun to take her shopping for Halloween costumes. During her years, she has run the gamut of costumes: little pumpkin, bumble-bee, Minnie Mouse two years in a row, a lamb, and this year, she is Kitt Kittredge.(My daughter actually looks like Kit, so my mama-pride is ready for the ultimate in cuteness!)

LOWS: My daughter loves it when Mom and Dad dress up too, so I am looking for a costume that is fun, flattering (yep, I am vain), and appropriate to take my kid Trick-or-Treating around our neighborhood. And herein lies the problem. Most of the "cool" adult costumes I find are, well, just too slutty for my taste.  Case in point: when my kid dressed a lamb last year, I thought it would be cute to join the festivities as Little Bo Peep. Honestly, all I could find was Slutty Bo Peep. While I knew the costume would ignite my husband's interest, it would certainly would make me the harlot of the neighborhood. I was not about to prance around the neighborhood in a cleavage-bearing dress and thigh-high stockings. My neighbors already think I am crazy and loud, so let's not add slutty to the list of adjectives.

Second Harvest Food Bank

Every year my company holds a Volunteer Week.  The company does a fantastic job of proactively identifying volunteer opportunities throughout the year for those who are civic-service minded.  But then in late September, they do a big push to get every employee across the nation to volunteer in their community. There’s an entire website to connect volunteers with projects .  In the Bay Area alone, there were over 25 projects for employees to sign-up.

I picked the one closest to my home.  I’ll admit that I was a little disappointed that it meant that I’d lose three hours on a Saturday morning.  Yes, I was being selfish with my time.  I’m a busy working mom with weekends that can be more stressful than my meeting schedule.  I’d much rather have found a community service project that was in the morning during the week… might as well kill two birds with one stone and get a break from work while serving my community.  But alas, I picked convenience of the local over my desire to play hooky at work.

And on last Saturday, I showed up to the Second Harvest Food Bank with 20 other employees of my company to bag produce for needy families in my community.

The soul of a gas station

I live in the WASPy hamlet of Atherton, where people gate their houses against unannounced visitors  and people live for decades without meeting their neighbors.  Next door is Menlo Park, where the families are well-groomed with perfect teeth, churches abound, and the mommies have a reputation for blondeness, Junior League activity, and that sliding pleasantness that keeps outsiders at bay.

After almost 9 years, I still haven't gotten used to the suburbs, but I itch less, have made some pleasant acquaintances and a few friends, and don't froth at the mouth every time I leave my home.  Things are looking up.  If I went on antidepressants like 70% of my girlfriends seem to be, I'm sure that I'd be happy as a clam.

Actually, I have met some lovely people in the area.  Some live in the little homes and some in the big; there are heartfires around and it's nice to find them.  But whenever I start to relax a bit, something raises my hackles again.