Parenting Is Hard So Keep Your Chin Up!!
Parenting is Hard
So today was one of those days, I had not slept half the night, neither had the baby, no time for a shower and the house was still as a disaster zone as we had barely managed to begin unpacking after the move. Not to mention I was feeling extra sorry for myself as David was still away overseas organizing another shipment of cigars, so by the end of the day I was just buried under all the expectations and on the verge of tears. Little wonder that I began wrestling those niggling doubts, those questioning if I am a good mum.
Mostly because I couldn’t help but compare my current state to all those unbelievable mothers I heard or read about. You know the ones, up before dawn, house already spotless, sinks gleaming, laundry folded and sorted, organic locally sourced breakfast ready on the table, while the completed their daily 40 minute workout, during which their hair of course remains perfect, and in the afternoon they saunter into their perfectly organised craft closet and whip out some amazing afternoon art project that both stimulates and engages their little minds, the results of which will of course go onto the already crowded giant memory board. And I bet they had time for an extra long shower too, but that image is a modern one.
Back in the day
My grandad loved to tell a story about the time my gran had left my mum at general store, way back in the 1940’s. She had strolled up with mum sound asleep in her pram and left her snoozing away alongside all the other strollers filled with sleeping babes (different times) and did her shopping inside. She then proceeded to walk all the way home forgetting all about my mum, but she didn’t forget the hair dye my grandad would always chuckle. She quickly realised what had happened and walked back to retrieve my mother, oblivious to what had happened and still sleeping alongside all the other little ones.
Clearly those were different days and they certainly didn’t have free range bento boxes available, but like us they loved them, cared for them, fought for them, taught them and poured their lives into them. They somehow pulled through and they didn’t have half the resources available to us. We have to remember that parenting is a skill and a damn hard one to learn, so you cannot blame yourself not having complete mastery straight away.
So don’t berate yourself for “not handling things well” or for feeling overwhelmed today. Realize that the mothering little ones is and always has been difficult, whether you have an only child now or a whole handful back in the day. Don’t compare your hard to anyone else’s. We are all learning and the only failure is stopping. Not getting up, not trying, and not giving.
That’s not you.