Silicon Valley Moms Blog

Aspergers in Grey's Anatomy: Rainman Returns

I had high hopes for Mary McDonnell's three-episode-arc character Dr. Virginia Dixon on Grey's Anatomy. I thought, "It will be great to see someone a little quirky take on the already strange social scene at Seattle Grace." Unfortunately, when the episode aired, I was disappointed. Instead of a brilliant cardiac surgeon who happens to have Aspergers, Dr. Dixon is a very impaired Rainman-like stereotype of autism.

While the words I write about autism are read by a couple hundred people, and the words other parents may write about similar topics might be read by a few thousand people, Grey's Anatomy has viewers in the millions.

While from my perspective, there are tons of books about various spectrum-related topics out there, in truth the whole concept is still new to many people. The autism community is very much an ecochamber with only "famous" folks like Jenny McCarthy to put a face on autism for the general public. The information that becomes mainstream is limited. Autism is not binary: it is a spectrum, after all. Autism is not black and white: there are many 'causes' and many 'cures'.

Dr. Virginia Dixon reinforces the stereotype of autism that so many of us are trying to get away from. We want the public perception of autistic spectrum disorders to become more realistic.

Let's Go on Vacation!

Okay, so it is a little late to be talking about summer vacation, and it is still a bit early to talk about holiday breaks, but my family has been skipping town on a regular basis during the last month and a half. Yes, that time is typically spent with nose to the grindstone, "back to school" mentality, but we've enjoyed some break in the midst of our stress and schoolwork, too.

On the first day of school, we all spoke about what we had done over the summer break. "We traveled a lot," I remarked to one parent, but then quickly backtracked when I heard what it sounded like coming out of my mouth. "I mean, we spent time in a bunch of local places - like the mountains and Santa Cruz," I explained.

"Travel is travel," she said, smiling. And indeed, even though we did more of a "staycation" than those who jetted off to Europe or remote islands (yes, you, my lucky cousins) we still got several overnight breaks. And because our destinations were so close by, we've had the itch to visit them even during that invisible barrier between the start of school and Thanksgiving break.

Don't stop the music

In the wake of the Olympics, the Democratic National Convention, the nomination of Sarah Palin and now Hurricane Gustav, is it any wonder that school started with nary a whisper?

For those of us with kids with special needs, girding up for the beginning of school resembles nothing more than Batman preparing for battle: first the suit, then the cape, then the leather gloves and boots, the mask, the nifty belt: a little kinky, but you get the point.

My son entered Kindergarten last week. He's a smart guy, very sweet, funny and warm.  He's also on the autism spectrum, and his speech and social skills lag behind his peers.  He tends to wander off, needs help with most school assignments, and is terrified of loud noises.  He loves books.  He learns very quickly.  He finds recess excruciating. 

Give me your dorky, your poor, your socially-challenged

For anyone who felt nerdy, unattractive, unappreciated, misunderstood, bullied or otherwise confused in middle- and high school, this is your lucky day.

Can I Sit With You? The Stormy Social Seas of the Schoolyard, edited by Shannon Des Roches Rosa and Jennifer Byde Myers, is an anthology of writing by adults about their middle- and high-school experiences. It's also a Web site, a network and an ongoing literary project, collecting stories--the painful, the never-admitted-to, the embarrassing and outright funny--of teenage social angst, anxiety and conflict.

But what makes this book so remarkable is that everything--from the cover artwork by noted Manga artist Lea Hernandez to the book design--was donated with one aim in mind: to fund SEPTAR, the special education PTA that Des Roches Rosa and Myers co-founded in Redwood City, California, their local school district. The goal? To offer support and additional resources to families of children with special needs.

Every Child By Two: Vaccines for All?

Yesterday morning, "Every Child By Two," created by Rosalynn Carter and Betty Bumpers kicked off its new website and campaign to educate the public about vaccines. A press conference featured actress Amanda Peet, physician Dr. Paul Offit (whose book I reviewed about a year ago,) and Ann Hotez, a mother who has a daughter with autism. The purpose of the website and of the conference this morning is to dispel myths. It was set up as a defense against "the misinformation on the internet."

I was on the conference call associated with the press conference. Although I was unable to ask questions of the panel, I had the opportunity to listen in. To be honest, my main concern was about how parents would be portrayed. I wasn’t necessarily on the call to be "convinced" to vaccinate, for my kids haven’t missed a dose (and in the case of several infant vaccines, have had more doses than the recommended schedule because of an insurance switch.) But given the press releases for the "initiative," I worried about how those of us who have real concerns about vaccines and associated environmental triggers would be treated.

Google, we have a problem

It seemed like a good idea at the time. Our five-year-old son Isaac can be hard to engage, so my husband J. thought that a little fun with Google Image Search wouldn't hurt. After all, what's wrong with pictures of cars? Harmless fun, right?

And oh the joy. "I want to see trains!" he'd crow, and J and Isaac would sit down for a few minutes of father-son Googling. "I want to see buses! I want to see elevators!" And, with just a few keystrokes, he'd get his wish. Magic.

Except for one major miscalculation. Okay, three. First, Isaac was just learning to read and write. Second, we underestimated the sheer joy of seeing his ideas come to life on the screen. Third, we really, really underestimated his resourcefulness.

A few weeks ago, we came back from a trip, and I let Isaac play on the computer while I unpacked and started his dinner.

The Worry Never Stops

Just last week, we celebrated the end of first grade. I breathed a sigh of relief as we wrapped up a successful school year. I am glad that we moved into a school district which values its students and am confident that the staff and teachers will continue to support my son as he enters second grade and beyond. Last week I thought I could relax a little with our victory.

Only a week has passed, and yet it seems like years.

This past week has been difficult. My son is away from his friends and the routine of school. I've seen different sides of him that might display how he is at school, or might be representative of a routine shake-up. We met with his behavioral pediatrician to "wrap-up" the year but instead of the 100% positive success story I had envisioned prior to the appointment, my son used baby talk, refused to make eye contact, and at one point ended up in hysterical tears. He was acting like he did before all of our efforts to get him into a better environment.

Survivor: Kindergarten-Style

... cross posted from our sister site, DC Metro Moms Blog.

Send him to kindergarten or don't send him to kindergarten, that is the question. Recently I have been obsessing over whether to send my young son, who just turned five this month, to kindergarten next fall with the rest of his peers. Part of me really wants to keep him in preschool for an extra year.

See, my son is on the autism spectrum. And while he is very smart, reading and doing some math at age four, his social development (among other things) is behind that of other children his age. Lately I've had a lot of encouragement from his teachers and doctors to send him to kindergarten next year. And I've started leaning in that direction.

And then I read this. A kindergarten teacher in Port St. Lucie, Florida, led her students in a discussion of a child's negative qualities and then conducted a poll that resulted in his class voting 14-2 to kick him out of the class. The child, Alex Barton, is in the process of being diagnosed on the autism spectrum.

I cannot even describe my feelings when I read the first couple of blog posts I found on the subject. My concerns with sending my child to kindergarten stem largely from a fear that the other kids will ostracize him. The thought that a teacher would allow that to happen had occurred to me. The thought that a teacher would actively encourage, and even instigate it had not.

Click HERE to continue reading this post on DC Metro Moms Blog.....

A Mile in Someone Else’s Shoes

Over the weekend my youngest, age 3.5, mentioned that one of his classmates stole a cookie from him. He emphasized how “mean” it was for her to take his cookie.

I nodded a little, but then stepped in with a rather clumsy defense as he continued to talk about how “mean” this little girl is. "Well,” I attempted, "you need to not worry so much about her," I swallowed a bit, "Um, she’s sick."

I immediately regretted the word-choice.

"Um, she has trouble understanding what is right. She didn’t want to be ‘mean’ when she took your cookie; she just saw something she wanted."

I struggled to explain, wanting to avoid words like “mentally retarded,” “delayed,” or worse, “autistic.” I was awkward, and should have just let my son rant instead of attempting to defend the little girl.

The Vaccination Question has No Easy Answers

Every day I receive reports in my email box about various autism biomed treatments or the latest cases involving vaccine-injury. CBS Evening News has an exclusive story on the second round of cases that went to court today alleging a causal relationship between child vaccination and autism cases. Meanwhile, the recent outbreak of whooping cough (pertussis) at the East Bay Waldorf School has people chattering about vaccines from a different perspective.

I usually stay silent about the various debates because I don't see a clear answer and because these issues are too close for comfort. I've experienced these questions as a parent and studied neuropharmacology, immunology, and other such subjects as a graduate student. I've been brushed off as a "desperate mother," yet have seen firsthand how environmental stimuli can play a role in characteristics that fall on the autistic spectrum.

Before I became a mother of a child diagnosed with PDD-nos, I was respected as someone with two Ivy-league degrees, one of them a Masters of Medical Science. But once my son came along, since I put him on the Feingold Diet and questioned the vaccine schedule, I became an uneducated fool in the eyes of many medical professionals.