Silicon Valley Moms Blog

Who By Fire: SV Moms Group next Book Club Day is scheduled for Monday, January 26th

Mark your calendars for Monday, January 26th as the writers of Silicon Valley Moms Group discuss the book, Who By Fire, authored by Diana Spechler. New York City Moms Blog, where Diana currently lives, will be hosting. Given what is going on is Israel right now, this is an especially timely read.

About Who By Fire: Bits and Ash were children when the kidnapping of their younger sister Alena, an incident for which Ash blames himself, caused an irreparable family rift. Thirteen years later, Ash is living as an Orthodox Jew in Israel, cutting himself off from his mother, Ellie, and his wild child sister, Bits. But soon he may have to face them again: Alena’s remains have finally been uncovered. Now Bits is traveling across the world in a bold and desperate attempt to bring her brother home and salvage what’s left of their family. Told from the alternating points of view of the three family members, Who By Fire is a searing commentary on guilt, grief, and the inescapable bonds of family from a fresh and extremely talented new voice in American fiction.

Read along with us: Visit Amazon or Target (Who By Fire has been selected as a Target Breakout Book) to buy the book today and get ready to discuss with us on Monday, January 26th. See you at book club!

Past Silicon Valley Moms Group Book Clubs have included:

• The White Trash Moms Handbook by Michelle Lamar
• Writing Motherhood by Lisa Garrigues
• The Vaccine Book by Dr. Robert W. Sears
• The Other Mother by Gwendolen Gross

One adult chair in an otherwise chaotic house

Having three kids aged almost 5 and under and living in a very small house (under 1200 square feet for a family of 5) in Silicon Valley, our living room/dining room/kitchen (it is all one room - a"great room" concept, if you will) has been overrun with kid stuff for the last 5 years. First it was a pack-n-play, 2 swings, 2 bouncy seats, an exersaucer, etc. when we had the twins. Then it was less baby equipment, but more toys - blocks and tents and play houses and stuffed animals and.... After that came the coloring table and the train table. Now we're at a place where we're ready to take back our adult space to some degree. Not that the kids won't still have their stuff in the living room - the coloring/activity table will stay. And they have a kids computer table now that will stay. But all the toys are going in their rooms. The toys have been scaled back too - there are just less of them.

Operation Cry-It-Out Has Commenced

Last night marked the beginning of Operation Cry-It-Out in the Maynard household.  And boy are we tired.  But the Operation must continue and failure is NOT an option.

Our first child is and always has been a sleeping champ, so sleep training was never a necessity.  Then baby number two arrived.  Actually, she was sleeping 12 hours a night by the time she was four months old.  Then, when she was 8 months, we went on a month-long vacation.  She shared a room with us while we were away and it was the beginning of the end.  The kid has not been able to get through the night since.

Next Year, I'm Really Gonna Stop Piling

Before I got married, I regarded myself as a person who was on the "neat" side.  If I were to take a one of those personality surveys you find in magazines, I'd easily check off "organized" as one of my attributes.  Whether it was running a project at work or planning a party with friends, I have always been one to cross my t's and dot my i's.  I have also always enjoyed being somewhat of a homebody.  On the weekends, I'd enjoy going out with friends.  But, I am also the kind of person who needs an equal amount of down time tidying up and cleaning up around the house.

I soon found out after marrying my Hubby, though, that I was far from being "neat".  I remember very distinctly, the moment my newlywed Hubby stood in front of my stack of paperwork, when he asked me, "Um, Honey.  What is this stuff piled up here on the floor of the office?"

"Oh, it's just my paperwork," I called out from around the corner.

"Hmm.  It's been here for a couple of weeks.  Is there anything important in here?  Like bills that need to be paid?"  Uh, no... Even if there was.  You don't need to worry about it.  That's my stuff.

As the newlywed years passed by, I found myself directly under fire with this type of conversation (line of questioning).  At first, I resolved to be calm and persistent.  I thought I'd change Hubby by a strategy of quiet resolution to de-program his vocabulary.

Emergency Visit to Laser Quest

The holiday season may be time for special family events, but when it comes to boys - they still need an energy outlet. My boys are great at school, other families houses or any time they can go outsideto play. But when it comes to a rainy cold days, things start getting wild. I know some boys can sit and play with a paper clip for hours, but most have what I call "boy energy". Boy energy is a force not to be reckoned with. That force can be sidetracked with Legos, reading, building games and other games for just so long. Then it is time to either put them in front of a screen or take serious action.

It all started when we realized that the bike ride I had planned for my 10 year old son and his friend, over for a playdate, could not take place because of rain.  We don't allow any gun toys into the house, but two Nerf guns slipped into holiday gifts. My normally pleasant son and his normally pleasant friend decided that my 6 year old twin boys made great targets for the Nerf guns. That is when I decided that an emergency visit to Laser Quest was the action needed to separate the older and younger boys.

So I did what any self respecting mom of three boys would do in this situation:

Embrace the crazy!

Last night it was raining.  Normally I love the sound of rain pitter-pattering outside my window.  But not now.  Not in this old apartment.  For some reason, the rain gutter right outside our bedroom window has issues.  LOUD issues.  Whenever there is much more than a sprinkle of rain, it sounds like a little elf is sitting outside my window rat-a-tat-tatting on the rain gutter.  “Bing. Bing. Bing. Bing. Bing. BING. BING! BING!!!!!”

It makes me crazy.  Or am I already crazy and the bing-bing-binging just brings it out?  I think it’s probably the latter, but whatever.  Anyway, I whined and complained and stomped my feet a little.  Finally, my dear husband went out and stuffed a diaper up this rain gutter’s bottom.  Oh, sweet relief!  No, wait.  Wait a minute.  Thump. Thump. Thump. Thump!  The ‘binging’ just went through puberty.  It’s voice got a little lower, but no less annoying.  I started to pack up and move to the couch when, thankfully, it stopped raining. So I went to bed…but not without earplugs and the air filter blasting by my side of the bed.  (PS: I ended up having a great night’s sleep. I didn’t hear the loud thunder or my baby crying last night.  It was great!)

The real question here is, why did the rain gutter make me certifiably insane?  My husband was ready to send me away to the nut house…and I was ready to go, for that matter.

No Paid Time Off for This Mommy

Being a mom is the hardest job in the world. I've heard it said time and again.  But, it really is true.  The reality of this thought hit home recently, when an opportunity to enter the professional workplace again crossed my path. A manager I previously worked for was transitioning to a new position and wanted to see if he could tap me to join his team. 

This email shot me back to another reality I once lived and excelled in, managing product teams to release products.  In the parallel universe of the corporate world, I was in a way, bringing "babies" into the virtual shelves of the marketplace.

In contrast, the current life I live now as a mom, bringing up a real child sure is different.  "Excelling" is not the first word that jumps into my mind.  My days now consist of managing tantrums, negotiating with a three year old over how much broccoli needs to be ingested, and strategizing on how to get him to brush his teeth, and go (and stay) in bed. 

It feels like I'm continually stuck at the bottom rung of being the rookie.  Just when I think I've got some equilibrium, little Johnny lets me know, "Hey, Mom.  Now that you think you've got a handle on me now, let me know show you some new stuff!"  And voila! I'm back in the freshman class of a new class of Parenting 101.

 

Food Fight

Dinner is the only meal in which I require everyone to sit down at the table.  It’s an important tradition from my childhood.  As a busy working mom, dinnertime is the time to reconnect with my family.  We talk about our day, about current events, about really anything.  When I get home from a day at the office, I quickly get a wholesome meal on the table so that we can spend time as together as a family.

Yet dinnertime at my house is rapidly reaching Code Red status.  What was once a pleasant meal has turned into a power struggle of epic porportions.  No, my son isn’t refusing to eat dinner.  No, he isn’t exihibiting any bad manners.  In fact, my son will eat everything you put on his plate.

It takes him over 90 minutes to finish.  The battle I face every night is to get my son stay focused to eat dinner in a reasonable amount of time.   

Parenting for the School Aged Years - A book club for The White Trash Mom Handbook

Here we are at book club again at Silicon Valley Moms Group, as announced last week, and Silicon Valley Moms Blog is hosting. Today, we are talking about The White Trash Mom Handbook, authored by our own Michelle Lamar from Deep South Moms Blog.

What has this fast and fun read brought up for us? Take a look and join the discussion as....

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• Silicon Valley Moms Blog's Heather leads us off as she admits she is a Recovering Over-Achiever Mom
• Rose from Its My Life is Not Quite a White Trash Mom...Yet
• Liz from This Full House raises her hand as a White Trash Mom
• Kim from House of Prince celebrates her Built-In Cleaning Crew
• Linsey from Me Too You is Going Shopping for Funky Glasses and Cowboy Boots
• Monica from Lady M Needs Some Artsy Clothes
• Jessica from Jessica Gottlieb gives A Nod To The White Trash Mom
• Mommy Vents is Outside Playing With My Kids While Wearing A Tshirt And Hubbies Boxers
• Nicole from Not Just a Working Mom rewards email rants by parents at her school with trash bags in her analysis of The White Trash Mom Handbook
• Tracey from Just Another Mommy Blog is Talking Trash
• Ana from Finding Bonggamom questions, Am I a White Trash Mom?
• Robin from My Life As It Is reviews The White Trash Mom Handbook
• Kimberly from Tippy Toes and Tantrums took the quiz and is Philosophically White Trash
• Amy from Up With Moms says We're All White Trash Moms
• Leticia from Tech Savvy Mama starts a Tech Savvy Book Club:  White Trash Mom Handbook and Putting On Your Big-Girl Panties
• Sarah from Sarah And The Goon Squad is Finding White Trash Moms Among Us

.... and if you have a post up on YOUR personal site on this topic, please leave a comment below and we will add your link!

A Mom Like Me in the White House

In addition to my excitement about Barack Obama becoming our next president, I'm really excited to see a mom like me (no "just") heading to the White House.  During the election, much was made of Sarah Palin's "just like me" anti-elite, populist appeal that scared the bejeezes out of me.  If McCain had selected Michelle Obama as the VP Candidate...now that would have had a certain appeal.

In Michelle, I see a professional woman and mother who has proudly described her role as "Mommy-in-Chief," which is the same responsibility I have in our family - whether I like it or not.  Most of the time, I relish the role, organizing, scheduling, prioritizing, attending activities and events ranging from ballet classes to when to call the doctor (again tonight as a matter of fact.)  But, this past week I hit a wall.  I'd already had a tough few days and felt behind on some key projects.  Then, I came out of an hour-long meeting at work to find 8 voicemail messages on two phones from the school, my husband and our nanny.  My daughter was being sent home sick with a fever.  I'll admit, my first thought wasn't to worry about her, rather I just felt my heart race with frustration that I had to be the hub of the wheel on this one.