Silicon Valley Moms Blog

Maria Shriver’s Journey: Up Close & Personal with Silicon Valley Moms Blog

“Change doesn’t have to be huge, but it may have to be deep.  A deep change for me was realizing I’d have to take the time to know what I feel, in order to know who I am and who I want to be.”

As I read these words from Maria Shriver’s new book, Just Who Will You Be?, I felt as if I was peeking into a page from her personal journal.  Last night, I got the chance to meet Maria up close and personal at a private book signing, hosted by Silicon Valley Moms Blog at Books Inc, Palo Alto.

Maria kicked off the evening by calling our time together a “neighborhood girls night out” and treated us to a sampling of Lovin’ Scoopful, a yummy new ice cream that’s close to her heart.  Maria, along with her brother and “two other guys”, came out with this ice cream, donating 25% of proceeds to go to Special Olympics.  (I was surprised to find out later that this creamy ice cream is only ½ the fat and 1/3 of the calories.  I should’ve eaten the whole scoop, rather than holding back the last few bites!)

With ice cream in our tummies, all the mom bloggers were all ears.  For the next 30 minutes, we listened and laughed with Maria, as she opened up about her journey to self-discovery and answered questions from the group.  Maria was as candid, down-to-earth, and humorous in person, as she is in her writing.  Passionate and kind, she was even more beautiful in person than she already is in her photos!

25 Things Worth Doing

I would like to be able to claim my inspiration for this posting as my own brilliant idea.  I would like to, but I can't.  Instead this random list is inspired by Maggie Mason's post on her website, Mighty Girl, of 100 Things Worth Doing.  It reminded me to take stock and think about my best moments.  Am I on track to where I want to be?  Is it about getting somewhere or just enjoying the precious joys as they happen? 

I have pared my list down to 25 for now, possibly the first of a couple of installments.  These are things that I have done in my life to date that I will always remember as the best of choices, adventures, etc. in my world.  It is in no particular order and at the end I added just a couple of things I would love to see on this list if I were to write it again a year or two from now:

xxx
1. Being Pregnant (even though I hated it at the time) Twice - for no other reason than the two beautiful daughters in my life

My Top 5 Mommy Guilt Offenders

Last week, I spent a good amount of the week in bed, sick as a dog. Because there was quite a bit of Mommy Guilt that accompanied my days curled up under the covers, I wrote up a posting on my personal blog about it: When Mommy is Sick.

This week, I'm back on my feet. Yeah, the things that made me feel guilty when I was sick have ebbed away. But, like the tide that always returns, a new list of guilt-inducing items washes up to greet me on any given day as mom.

I try not to let these things drag me down. I kinda picture my days as mom like my walks on a beach. Sometimes, the beach is totally beautiful and clean, especially after a storm or a spelt of rain has hit. The beach is clear because not many people have returned yet. No paper bags, styrofoam cups, or broken beer bottles. Just smooth, virgin sand, waiting for my footprints, as I trek across, eager to make my mark.

Days like these with TJ seem magical. These are the times when I've just finished something major. Maybe I just completed ordering fabric and materials for the line of shopping cart covers I've designed. Or it could be something monumental, like clicking through that last screen on the TurboTax Wizard and all my papers are filed in newly labeled folders. Or it could be something as simple as getting my weekly grocery runs done. With my fridge newly stocked and meals fresh in my mind for the next couple of days, my time with TJ is filled with lots of fun, play, and creative ideas for first time moments.

Baby on the brain

Since Darius was born, I've been saying that he would be an only child.  And if not an only child forever, at least for a very very long time.  I was 26 when D was born - and in Silicon Valley, I felt like a teenage mother.  The women in my office and the women in my mother's club were, on average, 10 years older than me.  Darius was a surprise pregnancy.  My birth control failed after an antibiotic interaction.  10 days on penicillin and wha-la my precious baby was conceived.  So needless to say, we weren't in a phase of our lives where we really thinking about children.  We wanted to travel, to live through our twenties as care-free young adults, to pursue our careers.   And while my son has changed most of that picture, I didn't want to jump into my "baby-making" phase of life just because we made a baby.  One was enough, thank you.  I didn’t need to start having more.

I have held steadfast to my opinion that we wouldn't have more children until my spouse finished grad school and Darius was in school.  Until now. For the last month I have daydreamed about getting pregnant.  I have this fantasy about it.  About quitting work and staying at home for a year to nest and make a family.  About staying fit and having a clean house.  And doing crafts with the kids and going to the park.  And having a clean house.  Like I said, it's a fantasy.

Turn your kid into a couch potato in 7 days

My two year-old daughter has been kept away from the TV as much as possible until recently.  Most books say to wait until they're two before introducing TV and that was just fine with us.  She watched Baby Einstein a few times when she was little, but that was it.  Then she got sick recently and really didn't feel up to much of anything, so we went down the dark path...

J discovered Dora the Explorer first.  Lucky for us, a study recently came out that some of it is actually educational for kids.  Our daughter is learning some songs, letters of the alphabet and counting.  The show has a linear, simplistic pattern that works well for the little ones.  She's now totally hooked.  She gets up in the morning and asks for Dora.  She negotiates asking to "watch Dora a couple more minutes?!" with her angelic little eyes.  We're doomed.

Reinventing Date Nights

A friend and I were having breakfast one morning at the Woodside Bakery, catching up over coffee, a split fritatta, and fresh pastries. It was great to take a break from our grueling toddler-run treadmills and escape for a morning.

It's fun to hangout with this particular friend because we share a similar timetable for getting hitched and married with children. We became friends when we were both single and in our 30's. We met our spouses around the same time, dated and walked down the aisle within the same year and popped our first baby out after celebrating our paper anniversary.

During our precious time away from being time-crazed women back at home, we didn't talk about parenting or tantrums. Naw, that kinda stuff is left for everyday fodder, playground conversations. No, we got the scoop on top priority topics. One of which was the lack of time with hubbies and missing table-for-two evenings and weekends.

How realistic is it to inject romance as a regular part of life as couple with kids? And did we actually know any long-married couples who were "still in love"?

Redefining Progress: The Genuine Progress Indicator

At my son's preschool, teachers stuff the latest glue and glitter creations along with school newsletters in cubby holes for each student. Last week, when I picked TJ up from his morning class, I noticed that his was packed full. Shoot!  Because TJ's afternoon nap time is my break time, I tend to be in a rush, getting TJ in the car and whisked back home in time for lunch and down to catch a few zzz's.

I hate missing the occasional notes-to-parents or school newsletter. There have been too many times I sported the deer-in-the-headlights look when Mrs. Preschool Teacher asked for the whatever-you-call-it form.

So, as I'm stopped at a red light, I quickly scan the newsletter for any action items, when a line from the preschool director's letter catches my eye. 

An Incurable Romantic

A new year has crept up on me.  And I couldn't be happier.  Other than Christmas, there isn't a better time of the year for me.  Not because of any great New Year Party I often hear about or see glammed up in the movies.  Hey, I'm in bed by 10pm if I had it my way.  Sleep trumps all else for this mom of a toddler.  And it's not because I'm away on vacation somewhere far and away, like Paris or Hawaii. 

No, the reason why my world suddenly becomes shiny and new during the month of January is because I'm a  die-hard romantic.  Now, I'm not talking about the Valentine's Day, hearts-and-boxes-of-chocolate type of romance. I call it Life Romanticism, where I fall in love with life and look for meaning behind every little moment and significance in any old thing. I don't believe in circumstance or randomness. 

So, I thought I'd start the new year off with a confessional:  I am an incurable romantic. Yep, I'm one of those people who (tries to) save every card I get, scrapbook pieces of wrapping paper from my baby/bridal showers, have a box full of letters from my childhood friends, and is often obsessed with finding reasons to celebrate (Hey, it's the

Mommyblogger Tips for Avoiding Being Groped

Going to a recent fundraising event, the last thing I was thinking about was getting hit on by men.  My job was to cover the occasion, meet people, take pictures.  My friend and I made our way through the various areas of the venue with our purpose 100% in focus.  It was a fabulous organic event with one unintended consequence: a meat market on the side.  While the food was excellent, we were unprepared to encounter single men hitting on us and invading our personal space as we perused our surroundings.

Lucky for us, we learned a great trick that I'm going to pass along to all the other mommybloggers out there.  During that time between first contact (whether it be a look, an approach, a hello or some sort of line to get your attention) and the point where he discovers your wedding ring are some uncomfortable moments where you know there's... interest... from the new person you're talking with.  Sometimes that space can be more than uncomfortable - disconcerting, even.  In that empty space, the sooner you talk about mommyblogging, the faster you can get to the imminent disembarkment of the wannabe-beau, stalker, whatever.  Try it next time you're out by yourself and you get hit on or feel that vibe - watch the color instantly drain from mens' faces.  It's really a priceless social experiment.

The Right Outfit at the Wrong Time

I've always said any outfit is appropriate, it just depends on where you are when you wear it. For example, I wore a nightie and yoga shorts to a pole dancing class last year, but I wore a conservative tweed skirt and black sweater with an attached bow (almost prissy!) to my grandfather's funeral. Last Tuesday, forevermore to be remembered as Forgotten Child Day, I had slipped into an outfit to attend the Gorgeous and Green fashion show in San Francisco with fellow SV Mom Blogger Sarah G. who was covering the story for her blog, SF Bay Style.

I'm certain that when Forgotten Child's Mom rang my doorbell at 5pm and found me in a somewhat sexy backless black outfit and too much mascara for a playdate mom, that I got the Bimbo of the Day award in her world. I'm sure her first thought was "what is she DOING dressed like this while hosting a playdate??" If I'd danced Victoria Jackson's "I am not a Bimbo" song (1990s Saturday Night Live) in my entry , it might have actually helped the situation. My first thought was, "OH...MY....GOD... I forgot to calendar the playdate and left the boys at Kids Club."